Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day. On my favorite day of the week, friends, we have made it to another fry. Yay. And whatever you're doing, whether you work on the weekend or not, because I face that as a nurse, is there really a weekend? Is there really an evening? Evening? The time all runs together. But Friday has a different kind of energy. And in this world, in this new cycle, we need a little break. And I hope that whatever you're doing this weekend, whether you're home, you're traveling, you're going to sports games, you are working, I pray that you will really intentionally seek some time with your friends and your family. Will you really need those moments of reconnection? We need time to nurture those relationships that are going to help us get through all of the tough news that we are hearing. And collectively, as a nation, our hearts are extremely heavy. And I'm just going to call it out like it is. There are a lot of really tragic things, but of course, everyone is thinking about the death of Charlie Kirk and the other news stories that we have heard. The ice shooting in Dallas, the. The. The murder of a young girl on a train. I, mean, I could go on. And there are so many things that are just plain scary, and the world feels like it is pulsating with fear now. You know, every Friday, we talk about healthy habits for healthy families. And we're in our little mini Beatitude series. We're talking about ways to be with your family. And today we are going to talk about maybe the hardest one that we will face in today's world. You might think, okay, be forgiving, be patient. No, the habit today is be. Are you ready for it? Unafraid. That's what we're talking about today. Because in a culture that is just seeped in, fear, it is. It is just absolutely in the atmosphere. Fear sells. It sells clicks, it sells news views, it sells products that we buy to keep our families safe. Fear is a marketing strategy, and it's being used against us. And so as I was looking, I saw a quote, and as I was thinking and praying about the answers that I was going to give to the questions that you're asking me today, I saw a quote from Winston Churchill that said, fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision. And that is so true. As parents, as just people in the world. When we hear those fearless stories, we have a reaction to them. Well, maybe I should buy that home security system or maybe I shouldn't buy that kind of car because it gets stolen. And maybe I shouldn't ride on that public transportation. Maybe I shouldn't go to that part of town. And those things are good, they can be wise. But if we're just reacting out of fear, that's not a strong place to be. Courage is as an intentional decision that we have to make. Or maybe you grew up in the era of John Wayne who said courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. And as a Texan, I can relate to that. But even more than historical figures, we look to scripture for encouragement. And God has. God's word has a lot to say about fear. I think about Joshua 1, verse 9. Be strong and courageous starts actually with have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged, do not be terrified. Some versions say, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Psalm 27:1 is another verse that we've meditated on this year. The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? And Psalm 56:3, When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. And first John 4:18, perfect love drives out fear. Perhaps the most well known verse about fear is second Timothy 1:7. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. And when we're looking at the current moment, when you turn on the news, when you open your phone, fear is dominating the narrative. It's in social media, it's in politics, it's in daily conversations, and it is in the hearts and minds of our children. And they're asking the question, they're looking to those people they trust. And the question that they're asking you is, should I be afraid? And how we act, how we respond, even not directly to them, the ways that we handle our own fear our are deeply instructive to those children around us. And I feel like collectively as a generation, we're not doing a very good job of this. We're really giving them a message of, yes, the world is scary and this is a scary time to be alive. And there's no, and there's no follow up. It's just kind of, yep, that's the way it is. But I've been very encouraged, even though in the aftermath of Charlie Kirk's assassination, we have seen polarized vitriolic, just absolutely, just, absolutely reprehensible public discourse that has followed celebrations of death are absolutely heart sickening. And this open hostility and mockery and cheers of evil are downright disturbing. And I want to tell you about something specific disturbing that I learned this week that I really think that parents need to know about. Because one of the things that can be scary in this world is that things, things that seem innocuous, things that seem harmless, can actually have hidden threats. And so you may want to cover those little ears and adjust your audience for sensitive listeners because this is something that is scary to me. This week I have learned that you can purchase, that people can purchase curses, hexes, spells and other forms of magic and witchcraft from practicing witches or magicians on the Etsy platform. This is what's being reported. Yes, I'm talking about the same platform that sells arts and crafts and customized hand gifts. And it has been reported, there is some reporting that just prior to Charlie Kirk's death, there were some public influencers who were calling for engagement with this practice on this platform to call evil forces. And, and there's allegedly, what I understand it to be is a loophole essentially to sell this practice by having it labeled as entertainment or maybe having a tangible product. So you're not actually buying the curse, you are buying a jar. And I looked this up on Etsy myself and I found plenty, plenty of options there, to purchase, there is a section called curse someone. So if you want to consider things that are terrifying, honestly, this is it. When we engage with evil practices, that is something you should absolutely not invite into your home or your heart in any way, shape or form. And as evil and sin, honestly, are increasingly normalized, I'm worried about children and teens having trouble differentiating between something that just seems like harmless fun. So many things that are evil and they're intent, that are mean spirited are just, you know, you're just told, you're just being too sensitive, that's just a joke. We need to be very clear with our family that these practices are dangerous and even deadly. And you should have zero tolerance for any engagement with forces like this of any kind. Because if you believe that angels are real, you believe that demons are real to demonic spirits and they seem to be wreaking havoc with this world. And there have been many horrible, tragic stories of violence that seem to become the daily norm for news media outlets, outlets. And we see violence against innocent people, people of faith, people just doing their jobs, people speaking their convictions, just those kinds of things. When we see that, it's terrifying because when something bad happens, our normal human coping response is to immediately start to find anything, just something, anything that differentiates us from that situation. That's how we're trying to keep ourselves safe. So what that sounds like in your mind is, well, I wouldn't have gone there. I wouldn't have gone to that place event. I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have. We're just searching for something to reinforce our construct of safety because, well, I would never. So therefore, that would never happen to me. Now it's normal. But the impact on families of this is that parents, we do feel the weight of protecting our children from dangers both real and perceived. But our kids are absorbing those anxieties we have. And so when we look at being unafraid, it's not about a reckless denial of danger. It's not about saying, well, we're just going to go anywhere and do anything. It is choosing courage rooted in faith and having an eternal perspective.
People are displaying unshakable hope in face of what seems hopelessness
So before we go any further, I want to promise you a message of hope today, because we are seeing that in our country and even around the world, people have, are displaying unshakable hope in the face of what seems like utter hopelessness. People are going to church for the first time in a long time, or maybe even the first time ever. People are asking questions. People are curious about a faith so strong that you have a celebration at a funeral. People are wondering why there are no riots, no fires, no protests, no violence. And people are reevaluating their own lives and finding courage to share their faith publicly without fear. And those are big reasons to take heart and reasons for hope. Now, it's not enough to have just that one time, fleeting spiritual, emotional experience. And maybe many of your kids are having that because when they see what they saw, when they see someone dying, live multiple times on loop and there have been multiple cases in a graphic, horrific way that's going to cause them to grapple with really big answers. Little kids are going to worry more about their physical safety. older kids are going to worry about their emotional safety. And older teens and adults worry about their spiritual safety. And we really need to meet people who are seeking answers, whether that's our kids, our family, our neighbors, our coworkers, anyone who's reaching out to us having spiritual questions. We need to make sure that we're connecting them to a path of discipleship so that it's sustainable and they don't go back to that place of fear. And we're doing that here on this show with our worldview Wednesday series where we talk with Pastor Josh Mulvihill about how to intentionally curate a biblical worldview for our children. Because all of this comes down to identity. And parents especially have the sacred opportunity to help their children find their true identity in Christ. That is our mission as parents, reminding our kids and our that our worth is not based on achievements or popularity or even being a good person. The world often teaches that being kind or doing good deeds is enough. But Scripture is clear that salvation is not earned by works. It is a gift of grace through faith in Jesus Christ. And kids need to know that good news that Jesus died for their sins. He rose again. He offers them forgiveness and eternal life. When they accept him as Lord and Savior. And when our identity is round as group, is rooted and grounded in Christ, then that gives us a firm foundation of, belonging and purpose and hope and an identity that no fear can take away. And as I've been watching the news, I keep thinking about a verse from Genesis, chapter 50, verse 20. This is Joseph speaking after he has experienced extraordinary harm, being sold into slavery by his brothers, being held captive, and then rising to power during a time of famine. And this verse says, as for you, you meant evil against me, but God, my favorite two words in the history of ever. But God meant it for good to bring it about that many people should be kept alive as they are today, that for the saving of many lives. That is what we're seeing today. We're seeing lives saved. We're seeing hearts changed in a world that is really scary. And parents, we do have a lot to be afraid of as parents. We are afraid of violence against our children. We are afraid of violence in school. We're afraid of crime happening in our neighborhoods. We're afraid, if we're really honest, that our kids are going to fail in life, in school, in academics, in sports. We're afraid of all of the online world. We're afraid of online predators and social media and AI and pornography. We're afraid mostly that our kids are going to walk away from their faith, that they're going to reject everything you invested in them and they're going to deconstruct. They're going to walk away. But kids have fears, too. Kids today are afraid of rejection. They're afraid of not fitting in, of being bullied. They have a lot of fears of loss, especially since COVID Am I going to lose a parent to death or divorce or abandonment? Am I going to be enough? Am I going to do enough? And they fear being different because of their Faith. We are afraid because the media is telling us to be afraid. We have constant alerts of danger. We have polarization. We have cancel culture. We have uncertainties in the economy, the environment, technology. And we want to control what we cannot control. And, friends, we just can't do that. So today we're going to talk about how do we be unafraid in a culture that, is covered in fear? When we come back, I'll talk about how that fear shows up in your family and what you can do about it. We'll see you on the other side of this break. I want you to picture this. Her name is Kayla. She is 17, alone, terrified and pregnant, sitting in a clinic, tears blurring, thinking abortion is her only option until she was offered a free ultrasound, paid for by a hero just like you. The moment Kayla heard her baby's heartbeat, the decision was made. And today, her little baby boy, Gabrielle, is thriving because preborn walked with Kayla every step of the way. Now multiply that by 38,000. That's how many babies preborn has helped save just this year. How many mothers preborn has come alongside with practical and spiritual resources to make motherhood possible. But here's the most important thing you will hear today. Their goal is to save 70,000 by the end of the year. And they can't do it without us. Every $28 provides that ultrasound. The moment everything changes, will you be the reason the next Kayla chooses life? The reason Gabrielle fulfills his destiny. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250 baby. Or donate securely at preborn.com/AFR, afr that's preborn.com/AFR. I got enemies at every side.
No Fear by Jon Reddick: It ain't looking good, I ain't gonna lie? Arrows flying, Devil's trying to make me think I'm going down this time. You might think that I'd be afraid? Running scared with the shaking faith? But the God I know says it ain't over. The God I know's gonna make a way, yeah, though I walk through the valley I will have no fear, no fear. The mighty power of Jesus is fighting for me here? No fear, no fear, no fear. The light of the world makes the darkness disappear. No fear. Not over my life Not over my life Not over my life. No fear Not over my life. Not over my life. Not over my life.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is no Fear by Jon Reddick. And that is easier said than done. We are living in a world that is making us afraid. As a mom, as a human being, I am afraid of the evil and violence that is out there. But we are commanded in scripture. There are so many scriptures that command us to not be afraid. And that's the question I'm answering this Friday, is how can we be unafraid? As families, as parents, how can we help our kids to be unafraid? Fear is natural. Fear is a human experience, and it shows up early in life. It is not something that we have to teach. Babies are born with fear. They start to have stranger anxiety. You, if you've been through it, you know it, you know that separation anxiety, you know, heaven forbid you walk into the other room for just a couple of hours, seconds. These fears are protective because what fears do is they design that infant to seek comfort and stay close to their caregiver. It is creating a bond, a physiological, emotional, bond with their parents that's really important. And then we know early childhood, those toddler years, fears are very prevalent in the narrative. Kids that age are afraid of everything except the ones who are afraid of nothing. And then their parents are even more afraid of everything for those kids who fear nothing. But most kids are afraid of the dark, of, monsters, of imaginary creatures, of doorknobs, of loud noises, of animals, of being left alone, of gum wrappers, I mean, you name it, anything can be scary. And we start to see nighttime fears. We start to see nightmares. Now, at this age, imagination outpaces their logic. So what they can imagine is more than what they can reason. And this is important because, again, with parents there, the fears are there as a tool for us to guide their logic and to help teach over time what is really something to be afraid of and what's not. In those school years, those elementary school years, we start to see more realistic fears. And those are definitely increasing as we have those kids having increased access to social media, to news. So their fears are pretty real. They fear injury, they fear natural disasters, they fear bad guys, they fear academic failure. And they have a lot of worries about friendships and fitting in and, and how are they doing at school or in sports or whatever they're trying to achieve. They're very sensitive to scary news or events in the media. They are, do not have brains that are designed to process those images and words over and over again. So do not let them watch the news on loop. And sometimes you think they're not paying attention, but they are definitely paying attention. So make sure you're really careful about limiting their exposure to news at that age. That's really important. Now here's where we start to See kids taking risk and they're testing their competence and control. And our role as a parent in those fears is to let them experience those fears in a safe environment to know which ones are healthy and which ones are not healthy and how we handle that. Now, teens, where we start to have fears of much more abstract things. Teens fear rejection. They fear social failure. They feel judgment, they feel fear of their future. They fear a lot. They have a lot of fears about death. Teens are usually going to take death the hardest and they also engage in risk taking as a way to mask their fear or to deny their fear or tell them, I'm going to overcome my fear by doing something incredibly dangerous. Again, that frontal lobe is not developed. It doesn't make sense to us, but it makes perfect sense to them. These fears are a tool for us as parents to help them form identity and independence and social belonging. And then we've got young adults who fear, am I going to do okay in a job? Am I going to provide for my family? Am I going to have a family? Will people love me? Will I be alone? Am I going to be able to be independent from my parent? That fear is a motivator for wise planning for responsibility. Again, as parents, we can still step in as grandparents, we can guide them. But here in midlife, that would be me and a lot of you. We start to fear aging and illness and anxiety about our kids futures and we start to have midlife crisis. But that's a good thing. It can prompt reevaluation of our priorities and we can reevaluate our purpose. And then even in an older adulthood, in that retirement age, we have fears of death and dying, fears of dependence, fears of disability, fears of dementia, all of these things. But these fears highlight the need for a legacy of faith to come down through our families. So that key takeaway is that fears can be healthy, they can be protective, they can be temporary, they can change our behavior. But if it is persistent, if it's paralyzing you, that is not a good place of fear. Because fear impacts our physical health. It impacts our stress hormones, our blood pressure, our sleep, our immune, our immune system, our chronic disease. But it impacts us emotionally. Relationships can be really strained with excessive fear. And that is very difficult. Now again, we have to go back to what scripture teaches about fear. And there are a lot of stories where people overcome fear. In the Bible, David facing Goliath. Now we all know that story, but when we think of David facing the giant, it wasn't because he was unafraid of the giant. But because he had a healthy fear of the Lord, he knew what the Lord could do. And his confidence in the Lord outpaced his fear of the giant. We see Joshua calling the people in Joshua 1, verse 9 to be strong and courageous. We see Jesus calming the storm and showing no fear in a situation that was really fear, that was really scary and fear filled. And so we got to have that eternal perspective. And that's one of the things that, that I think that we can learn about the most because we hold onto this life too tightly. We live for today instead of living for eternity. And we live in a culture, you know, the things that we worship, the things that we prize, the things that we seek. And if you don't think that you do, I do. Look at my, I look at my calendar, I look at my credit card and I see priorities and things that make me comfortable. I'm going to, I deserve it, right? These things are nice and I want to be comfortable. We, we prioritize control. So maybe that's tech. Things that are going to have us have control of our kids lives. We, we prioritize safety. Now these things aren't bad, they are not inherently bad. But we are called to a different measure of success and that is faithfulness. And fear tells us to, to look back to make sure, what have I done? What can I do to make the more safe? But eternity calls us forward. And we are reminded in the book of Matthew, do not store up for yourself treasures on earth, but store up treasures in heaven. And we're going to go out of this world with what we took into this world. I remember reading my grandmother, actually my sweet granny reading me a story and Reader's Digest and it was a, silly little story, but it had a good point. Talking about how there was a man on earth who asked God if he could bring one suitcase full of something to heaven. Now obviously this is not theologically sound, but just think about it for a minute. Because the man thought and thought and thought and thought, well, I'll bring gold, because gold is something that never loses its value. So he filled the suitcase with gold and when he gets to heaven, everybody can't wait to see what in the world would he bring. And when he opens up gold, the story goes, the silly little story, but the story goes that St. Peter looks at him and says, of all the things in the world you could bring to heaven, you brought pavement because the streets are paved with gold. It's a good perspective shift in looking at that. And we need to have courage, especially in the face of violence and hostility and Gen Z in particular. They were raised, they were the first generation to be raised entirely in a post 911 world. They are the first generation to be raised from the very beginning in a school shooting era where lockdown drills are just as routine as storm drills. They have constant exposure to global crises. They have war and terrorism and race, racial violence and political division and social media ugliness. There is a growing hostility toward Christian faith. We see it in the public square. But you know what? I see Gen Z responding with courage. And when we see that courage in young people, I encourage you to call it out. I encourage you to affirm it. We have students who are openly leading Bible studies or prayer groups or worship nights. We have students who are participating in movements like see you at the pole. That was a. We had the, the director of see you at the poll on and I was so encouraged by that conversation. We have student led revivals. We have students who choose faith over fear of rejection. And we have a lot of young Christian influencers on social media. They are sharing their testimonies, they are sharing scripture, they are sharing encourag even at the risk of being canceled or being mocked or being harassed. And we see Christian teens who are speaking up for truth in really tough cultural topics that draw hostility. And Gen Z is proving that courage is not about being fearless, but about conviction, about being unafraid to share their conviction. And they embody that verse in Joshua 1, verse 9. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Christian grief is very perplexing to those outside the Christian faith
Now another thing that we've seen in the last week is how Christian grief is very perplexing to those who don't share our faith. And for those who are outside the Christian faith, the way that believers grieve often seems very unusual, even confusing. And in those moments of deep loss where we are sad, we are despondent, even sometimes we may feel that. But even in the midst of that pain and suffering, Christians can express hope and joy and gratitude right alongside their tears. Because scripture reminds us we do not grieve like the rest of mankind who have no hope. But we have a hope that does not disappoint. And so for Christians, death is not the end. It is just the beginning of eternal life with Christ. And that doesn't, is that sometimes it doesn't ease the sorrow in moments, but it anchors that sorrow with an unshakable hope. And to people who are looking from the outside, that hope filled grief it can seem really unrealistic, it can seem performative, it seems emotionally repressed, it seems dysfunctional. But in reality, what you're witnessing is just an unexplainable, deep expression of faith because people know what the Lord has done in their life. And believers hold on to Jesus promise in John 14 that he is preparing a place for his people. He is going to prepare a place. And as I see all of these, the news of these great leaders of the faith passing away, I think of my granny saying, well, look who's coming through the gate. Look who's here. Look who's made it. It's so exciting to me. That's the perspective that I have that I know see her again one day. And that perspective allows even for moments of joy at funerals, in grieving, maybe it's through singing hymns, through sharing memories, or just smiling at the thought that our loved ones don't have any pain or suffering anymore. And it is really hard. But we have gratitude for the gift of life and salvation. So instead of being consumed by bitterness, we are choosing to be grateful. We are choosing to. To thank God for the gift of life. We are choosing to know that God knows better even when we don't understand. It is just a. It is a heart posture of thankfulness and a valley that is full of grief. And that's just difficult to understand. But one day we will be reunited with our loved ones who share faith in Christ. It's not a goodbye forever, it's a see you later and I'm going to carry on and fight my good fight and finish my race and get keep the faith until. And we know that there's a cloud of witnesses that is cheering us on. These are the kinds of conversations that we need to have at home. The confidence that God will make all things new. We know this from revelation, that there's a picture. There's no more death, no more mourning, no more crying, no more pain. Oh, death, where is your sting? And that eschatological hope shapes how Christians process grief. They know know that there is brokenness in the temporary. And God himself will redeem, will renew, will restore all things. And if our God was small enough to be understood, he wouldn't be big enough to be worshiped. And that's why it perplexes non Christians, because you come to a point where it's faith. And without that framework of eternity, grief just naturally feels final. But for us, it's not final. And some think that Christians are just minimizing their grief or they're Naive, but. But in Biblical lament, it's possible to grieve deeply and hope deeply. That Christian grief is a paradox. We embrace sorrow, but we also embrace joy. It's not less grief. It's a different grief. It's a grief that is transformed by the hope of the resurrection of Christ and eternal life. And Paul tells us, he reminds us in Second Corinthians, fix our eyes not on what is seen, but as what is un unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. Eternal. And what you're seeing is that kind of grief becomes a very powerful testimony. And we can practically apply that by having an eternal perspective. At home, talk openly about your faith in Christ, not just your worries in the world. Every time you talk about a worry or fear, you should back it up with a scripture. You should back it up with a butter and then give them some hope. Normalize conversations about heaven. I saw one influencer talking about, talking with a child. And they said, did you know my aunt died? And she said, yes, I'm sorry. And he said, why are you sorry? She's in heaven. And, oh, to have the faith of a child. I cannot tell you how important it is to equip your, your kids for, for courage with scripture teachers. Teach them scriptures that will help them and create those safe spaces to process fear where they can have honest conversation. What scares you about standing up for your faith? What scares you about what you're facing? How can I pray for you and pray? Celebrate their acts of boldness. Recognize when they show courage, whether that's inviting a friend to church or not, cheating or speaking truth in their classroom. Celebrate that act of faithful, even if the outcome doesn't go the way that they have. When we come back, I'll talk about teaching discernment and being unafraid and being bold. We'll be right back with more help and hope. On the other side of this break.
Buddy Smith: We live in a day when America's families are under attack like never before. Buddy Smith, senior vice president of the American Family Association. The war against biblical principles rages on numerous fronts. The Internet, Hollywood, Washington, D.C. america's corporate boardrooms, and the list goes on. At American Family association, we're committed to standing against the enemies of God, the enemies of your family. And we recognize it's an impossible task without God's favor and your partnership. Thank you for being faithful. To pray for this ministry, to give financially, and to respond to our calls for activism. What you do on the home front is crucial to what we do. On the battlefront, we praise God for your faithfulness and may he give us many victories in the battles ahead as we work together to restore our nation's biblical foundations.
God Only Knows by FOR KING + COUNTRY: God only knows. God only knows what you've been through. God only knows what they say about you. But God only knows the real you. There's a kind of love that God only knows.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is God only knows by FOR KING + COUNTRY And God only knows what our country has gone through. God only knows the hearts of fear that are all over. Hearts of. Of fear and parents and children and every human being. We watch the news and we live in a culture where, to be honest, fear sells. And we know that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. And today's healthy habit we're talking about is being unafraid. Now, that's much easier said than done. And it's something that needs to be cultivated. And when we are teaching our kids to be unafraid, I want to be clear that being unafraid, being bold, it does not be mean to be reckless, to be unwise, to be unkind. We need to teach our kids to pray for wisdom. That is a question that I get a lot, especially from kids in college, kids in high school, kids entering the workforce, and even younger and younger. If I have a conviction, when and where and how should I share that conviction? How do we engage in civil dialogue? And we need to teach our kids, kids when to speak and when to listen and when to walk away. And we know that there is no junior Holy Spirit, that God has given our children the Holy Spirit. And we need to guide our kids and that in that world so they can know when it's wise to speak and how to speak, how to speak boldly, but speak truth in love. And we need to focus on love, driven courage, a desire to share their faith, not to win an argument. And we've got to decide whether our goal. This is a really tough thing, but we've got to decide as parents, is our goal to raise children who are just safe at all costs or children who are faithful at all cost? Do we want to be safe at all cost or we do, we want to be faithful at all cost? That's a tough question. There's no easy answer for that. That there's no cookie cutter answer. But that is what we are called to contemplate. And as adults and older generations, by modeling courage that is rooted in eternal perspective, we can free our children. We can free ourselves from Fear Driven Living. And we can release our kids into their calling. It's countercultural for sure, raising a generation that is unafraid to live. And isn't that what we're seeing in this generation, as we've been talking about Suicide Prevention Month, we're talking about a generation where kids are more afraid to live than they are to die. And we need to make that for the right reasons. We want them to be unafraid to live and to run the race that God has set before them. We need to make them unafraid to love, unafraid to speak, unafraid to witness. That is really hard. So here's some practical tips for overcoming fear. And if that fear is really driving and disrupting your family, it's something you should talk to your primary care about to help differentiate between normal, expected, healthy fears and those fears that are starting to become detrimental and may be an indicator of even a mental health challenge that you may need some help and support for really young kids. You want to just say, I hear that you're scared. I see that you're scared. I'm here to keep you safe. And then back it up with, God is here to keep you safe. Avoid, I can't say it enough. Avoid overexposure to frightening media. Turn off the news when they're around. They do not need to see or hear the stuff on loop. They need to hear it curated and filtered by you. For, a little older kids that elementary age, teach them what fears are real and what fears are really not real, what things they don't need to be afraid of and encourage them. Whenever you see them doing anything that has courage, say, that was brave, I see courage in you. When you see pictures of them doing something brave, write the you know, I am brave and put it on the refrigerator. Celebrate their bravery and their courage and share stories of biblical heroes who overcame fear. For teens, we can normalize the fear of rejection, but reframe courage as faithfulness. That's what we're called to. And it's really good to role play some conversations about faith. Say, okay, well, let's practice this out and have some peers over and say, let's practice what would we say? And teach discernment to be a bold but respectful witness, just as we're charged to do in first Peter 3:15.
Faith informed parenting is a much more empowering framework than fear based parenting
And for parents, we've got to reflect on our own fears and how they are shaping our parenting. We have got to model being unafraid and releasing those fears to the Lord, which is so hard to do. So how do we set the tone in our house? How do we have a home where kids are and we're all encouraged to be unafraid? Well, I talk about this all the time. Time. It's not fear based parenting, it's faith informed. When we have fear based parenting, we're over protecting, we're micromanaging every detail of our kids life. We're focusing on shelter and safety and faith informed is a much more empowering framework. We're equipping our kids, we're empowering them, we're encouraging them to be bold. But most of all we're trusting God with them, knowing that God loves them more than we do. When we have fear based homes, which I had a lot of fear in my early days as a mom and I found myself having these characteristics, being very overprotective, sheltering them from every possible risk and I didn't really prepare them to be independent. I was controlling everything and micromanaging and thinking all the time about what could go wrong and thinking of what if, what if, what if, what if. I was very and they would absorb those worries. They knew that I was worried and I was teaching them the world was unsafe, that you know, you shouldn't take risks like God will help you, but you got to make sure you do A, B, C and D. And this makes kids more anxious. It deprives them of confidence, it makes them it's very difficult to make decisions. They're afraid that they'll fail. They try to be perfect, to deal with their fear. They try to control things and they equate God with fear and punishment or restriction if they don't do the right thing. Now by contrast, what I have now is a faith informed home where I do my very best to trust in God's sovereignty. That is tough, that is really, really hard. And some days I have a tug of war with the Lord over it. But that's where we acknowledge that dangers are real. But God is greater than any of those things. We empower our kids with tools and wisdom and we look for opportunities to grow to, to serve, to step out of our comfort zone. And we know that our choices are based in that eternal perspective. And we are going to model peace even when there is uncertainty. And that trust is stronger than fear. We give the messages like the world is scary, but God is safe. We know that the world will change, but God is unchanging. You can be brave because God is with you. Courage doesn't mean that you're not afraid. It means that God's with you when you are afraid. And those kids are going to have greater resilience, greater confidence. They're going to make their decisions with biblical discernment. They're going to take healthy risks in their relationships and their faith and their calling. That's so important and we've got to do that.
As parents, we need to shift from fear to faith about parenting
So as we think about shifting from fear to faith, we think, think, am, I parenting from a place of faith or fear? And sometimes that might be both in the same hour, in the same five minutes sometimes. But where are you living and hanging out most of the time in a place of fear or faith. And here is a really hard truth. But we've got to release control. We've got to practice entrusting our children to God. The best way to do that is to pray for them. And we say, yeah, yeah, I know that, I know that. But do you, you do it? Do you have the discipline of praying for your children every single day without fail? Do you pray right then when you, when they ask you for it, do you pray for them? When you're thinking about them, do you pray as much as you're worrying about it? And we've got to share how we trust God in our own fears using scripture and everyday language. That is so important. So when we're living in a fear based homes, our goal is to keep our kids safe. When we live a faith informed homes, we, we do want our kids to be safe, but we prioritize being faithful. We don't hide. We're just raising our kids to shine in their faith and to be confident in that and to know that we cannot control everything. It's not like we're going to make them less safe because we're not controlling things. We're still going to do all the things. But it's about a shift in mindset and that is really important. So looking at those things, at those ways that we can be bold with discernment and when we're thinking about being bold and being brave in a situation, we've got to think, why, why am I sharing what I'm sharing? Why am I doing what I'm doing? Is this for my own ego or is this obedience to what I feel like the Lord is calling me to do? Where are you sharing? Is it an appropriate setting to share? Is it within the rules or bounds? Or have you navigated that situation to make sure it's an appropriate, safe setting? You think about who you're sharing with. Is this person, is this forum safe? Is it appropriate and how are you sharing? What's your tone? And though, ah, ah. What is your motivation? What are you showing respect? And are you prepared to share? Those are really important to do so when we think about reacting when with faith and not with panic, that is really important. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to ground ourselves in truth. Some of those scriptures that we should work on memorizing come from Psalm 91:1. That's Psalm, 911. Whoever dwells in the shelter of the most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Isaiah 41:10 says, do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will will strengthen you and help you and uphold you with my righteous right hand. That's a powerful thing to send a kid into school with and fear. Faith doesn't remove that. Huh? Fear. But it does remove the paralyzing power of fear, which is really, really important to do. And as I said, take those practical safety steps. Teach kids how to respond in danger. They should respond responsibly when they're a fire drill. They should know about strangers. They should know about keeping themselves safe online. They should know first aid. And we got to implement those precautions in our home without overreacting. So. And it's hard, it is hard for me to do. We've got to model those calm, deliberate responses instead of reactive panic, which is really hard to do. It's also important to normalize those feelings and of fear. So we, we've. I can't dismiss it because sometimes our kids really do feel very afraid of those things and the things that they've witnessed on the news, they're going to amplify those fears. We've got to listen to them without dismissing. We can't say things like, oh, that'll never happen here. You don't need to worry about that. No, that, that's, that's not going to happen. Don't, don't worry about that. Say it makes sense. I see why you're scared of that. It's normal to feel fearful. And we're going to pray about it together. We're going to learn about coping mechanisms from scripture. And if they need some professional help in dealing with their fears, if they're really crippling, then I encourage you to get that and to do that. It's so important to do it, to model that healthy response to fear. These things are so simple, but just demonstrating calm confidence, just saying, okay, this is serious. Let's prepare, let's pray, and let's talk about what our actions are going to be here. I cannot say it enough. I've said it multiple times now. Avoid overloading the kids with media. Make sure they are not watching those things happen on loop.
Ask your children about what they've seen online following recent tragedies
I encourage you to ask them about their experiences in seeing violence online. And if you haven't talked to them about what they have seen, especially over the last two weeks, that in particular the two deaths that occurred in very graphic form, I think you would be really surprised to see how much detail kids saw and how much they're grappling with the fact. The conversation that I'm hearing among young people, very young people, is anger. They are angry saying we shouldn't have to experience this. Not only was it horrible that this happened and this person should not have experienced is really difficult to see that. It is traumatic to see that. And I talked a couple of Fridays ago about the impact of that trauma. And I really believe that this generation is going to be asking that, that years to come. Just like baby boomers ask, where were you when JFK was assassinated? Because it shifted in a moment in our culture, we saw violence happening live like I've never seen before. I heard from my own children before I even heard on the news, and I was on a news station broadcasting live. That is absolutely unacceptable for our kids. And so we've got to recognize that this, this is scary. But do not let them just marinate in that news coverage. Teach them to turn off their phone, to step away from that, to say, I've seen that, or I don't want to see that. My eyes don't need to see that. I just need to know what happened. But I don't need to carry the burden of that image. And that is, that is really important. And we can encourage children to be unafraid, but still give them the confidence of feeling prepared. Give them knowledge, give them skills for safety. This is how you keep yourself safe. We talked all this summer about safety, even water safety and sun safety and body safety. When kids know how to keep themselves safe, that's going to help them be more unafraid parents. I just encourage you in this world of fear to release your fears to God. You do that through simple spiritual disciplines. Pray the most when you feel the least like praying. Read your Bible, open up, read the Psalms, read Proverbs, read the Book of John, turn on some worship music, Talk with other believers who are going to encourage you and lift you up and surrender to God's sovereignty in your children's lives. Replace those fear thoughts with faith filled truths. Because fear may be dominating culture and media, but it doesn't have, to dominate your family life. It doesn't. Raising families who are unafraid is countercultural, but it is biblical. And more than that, it is possible. The Lord is our light and our salvation. Whom shall we fear? And as you're on your quest to be unafraid, I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And I'll see you right back here next time.
Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
