Transcript

Dr. Jessica Peck prescribes Hope for Healthy Families on American Family Radio

Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day, my favorite part of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And we have a big dose of it for you today. We're going to talk about one of your favorite things with your favorite guest, and mine, too. We're going to talk to Kathi Lipp.

There are some important things that you can do to prepare for Christmas

Yes, it is time for another episode of the Declutter Diary. So for those of you who are feeling suddenly compelled to clean out the drunk the junk drawer in your kitchen, that is about what time it is. We're going to talk about that in just a second. But first, we have a very special guest. And you know as well as I do that I love Christmas and we are talking about preparing our hearts. You don't necessarily have to prepare your home. You don't have to shop yet or put up your tree or anything like that, or listen to Christmas music. But there are some important things that you can do so that you can be ready. One of those is Operation Christmas Child. We have that collection that is just about to start. Those efforts are ongoing. You can send a shoebox gift to a child somewhere in the world. You can go to samaritanspurse.org/occ find out how to pack a shoebox, what to put in it and where to take it so that your gift can go to a child. And another great thing that we have for you is a tradition here at American Family Radio at the American Family association, and that is to wear a Christmas button. There's something really fun and simple about this. That's a way to spread Christmas cheer and a way to share the gospel, the good news of the gospel, and the real reason for Christmas. And we have the delightful Jerry Lawson here to tell us about that. Jerry, so glad to have you back. Thank you for joining us today. I'm so excited for you to share about how we can get our buttons.

Brother Jerry Lawson: Well, Dr. Jessica, I would just like to say it's a delight to be with you today.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It is a delight. It is exciting. I love your mission and what you're doing. Tell us about the Christmas buttons.

Brother Jerry Lawson: Well, I just. You just mentioned Samaritan person at our church. Our children, they, pack so many boxes. And I've already given my donation so the kids can go shopping here. And, boy, they get Excited doing that, and they're doing something for somebody else. And that's what these Christmas buttons are all about. And, ah, getting a button and sharing that button with somebody else is just an opportunity to present them with some joy in their life. And, yes, we are sharing today about the Christmas buttons. And there's two different buttons available out there, this year, and I, would hope people would call and order and get them.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, tell us really quick, Jerry, how did this start? Because this is a fun story of how the tradition started.

Brother Jerry Lawson: Oh, you have to go back 20 years when we were having this war on Christmas and you couldn't go to the box stores and say, merry Christmas. You were being told that, that's not proper. You can't say that here. Be quiet. And that just kind of really upset me. And then Bill O'Reilly was talking about the fact that there's a war on Christmas. And then Don came up with this ideal, about doing Christmas buttons. And I think everybody advised him here at American Family Radio that, it was a loser. You don't need to do Christmas buttons. And he said, well, I'm going to do it anyway. And I tell you, it has turned out to be a joyful ministry for me.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, it is a joyful ministry for me as well. I did get some buttons last year, Jerry, and I wore them out and about in my community. Community. And it was really fun because I did get some questions. Some people who asked me about them and some people who just smiled at me and just we had a little shared communication. They would point, they would nod, they would say, yes, me too. And that is a beautiful thing. Well, you can get your buttons at resources.afa.net you could go online to do that. resources.afa.net or you can call 877-927-4917. Jerry, I'd love to give you just a last word on saying Merry Christmas and encouraging people to start their own button campaign.

Brother Jerry Lawson: Well, I had the opportunity last week to go to my local hospital and, to give a button to all of the employees there. And, then the next thing I know, we had the patients want buttons as well. But, anyway, I. It's such a joy to pass these buttons out. And the person that's going to be receiving the greatest blessing is the person that's giving the button.

Dr. Jessica Peck: That is absolutely true. And Jerry, thank you for giving us, such joy today, such a great message of Christmas. Thank you for your faithfulness and doing this ministry for 20 years in a high tech world, a low tech message is really appealing and just something really simple that can be, that can save someone's life. We really appreciate that you so much, Jerry, for joining us. May God bless you. May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon your beautiful Christmas ministry.

Brother Jerry Lawson: Thanks for dropping by today and have a merry Christmas.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Jerry. You can say that anytime. I'll take that in February even. Thank you so much. Well, I hope that you will consider being a part of Samaritan's Purse for Operation Christmas Child. I hope that you will get, a button or find a way to share the good news of the hope that is found in Jesus Christ sometime this holiday season. And a button is a great fun way to do it. And another thing you need to be doing to get ready for the holidays is to talk to Kathi Lipp. That's what we're doing. We've art, when we talked to her last time, she helped us get our pantry ready. She helped us get our entryway ready. My entryway is ready. I have a place for all of the shoes of all of the college kids that are going to visit, which I can't wait for. My pantry is stocked with all of the food that all of the college kids are going to eat out of my pantry. And I love that. I have a guest drawer now. Ready now, Kathi, that stock up thing was fun. I do like stocking up. I've got some extra toothbrushes and some soap and some things that guests might need.

Over half of Americans feel pressured to overspend during the holidays

But today we're talking about something that is a little tougher to talk about because every year the holidays come and right about this time we have a lot of joy and anticipation. But there's also a lot of dread because we have this cultural hum constantly going, do more, buy more, be more. We feel this pressure to provide the perfect Christmas. And we do see families decorating earlier. I'm guilty of that. But unapologetic, we do see families spending more and sleeping less. And According to the 2025 Federal Reserve report, household credit debt in the United states has passed $1.1 trillion. This is an all time high. And a bank rate survey found that over half of Americans feel pressured to overspend during the holidays. Even though it ca stress, even though you regret it, even though you know you shouldn't. But what's striking isn't just about the money. It's what's happening beneath the surface. We're with the surface. We're not shopping because we're Greedy. We're shopping because we want to serve others or we're shopping because we're hurting and we're looking for some retail therapy. We want to feel in control even when the world feels out of control. We want to feel connected to people when we feel lonely. We want to comfort our kids. We want to reach out. And we've all seen it. There is conflict everywhere and somewhere. And that mix spending becomes self soothing. And we're buying to feel the ache of what is missing. But listen, here is the good news today. Here's the hope. Scripture reminds us that peace doesn't come from plenty. We know that Paul told us that he has learned to be content. We talked about that on one of our habits on a couple of Fridays ago, we talked about being content. And when we replace contentment with consumption, it cost us more than money. It cost us in our relationships. Because when we're discontent and when we're overspending, we bring guilt into our marriage, into our family relationships because oh no, I've spent too much. We agreed we would spend this much, but we didn't. We start to have comparison in our friendships. We start to have entitlement in our kids heart. I want this. I want this, I want this. And then we start to see the erosion of gratitude. And that is a tough place to be that we don't want to be.

What are we really buying when we overspend? Something that becomes clutter

So today we're asking what are we really buying when we overspend? Something that's just going to become clutter. Something that's going to be unappreciated, Something that the debt is going to remain. What is that really costing us spiritually, emotionally and relationally. So I have back yours and mine, our favorite clutter queen. She is going to help us with all of the clutter. Kathi, you have helped me so much in the last year. I am so appreciated, appreciative of this. I've been very transparent in sharing my struggles with this. And I'm so glad to be able to dive into this today with you. Welcome back my friend.

Kathi Lipp: The gremlins were trying to get us, but they're not gonna get us.

Dr. Jessica Peck: They're not gonna steal our joy.

Kathi Lipp: You had that wonderful Christmas, man with the buttons on. Oh my goodness, yes. And you know what? That's the only kind of thing I want coming into my house this year is something that brings joy like that. And Jessica, I love what you were talking about. You know how much consumer debt we are all struggling with. And I know that when you and I have these conversations about clutter that we're talking about getting stuff out of our house. But, man, the best way to attack it is to keep stuff from coming into our house. And I'm guessing if you have a problem with clutter, there is a financial component to it. And, we want freedom for people. We don't want you to be stuck in this cycle of over consumption and under savings. We want you to feel secure with your finances, be willing, you know, being. Having enough so that you can give. And so I'm so excited about our conversation today.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Me too. Because, you know, we talk about something like clutter, and it seems like, okay, like, it's just going to be an article in Good Housekeeping, and the next thing you know, I'm like, crying and searching my heart and thinking, I didn't know I had that feeling underneath. But clutter is one of those things, Kathi, and I'm so grateful for, for you in this space helping us, because it's so much deeper than just stuff. And today we really are talking about that. Overspending, over consuming. You've talked about it a little bit before. We talked about it earlier in the year. The pressure that we have of marketing and then the relational impact of spending too much and keeping too much. What is driving all of that? What is the heart issue that you have found beneath all of that?

Kathi Lipp: I think for most of us, and you know, please, let's be clear, when I'm talking about most of us, this is not the person who is struggling to get food on the table because we've got plenty of neighbors who are in that circumstance. but you can have cluttered. No matter what your economic situation is, it does not discriminate. And, sometimes that can be gathering things that you found on the street, and sometimes it can be shopping at Nordstrom. If you have that desire to consume and collect, it almost is going to ignore your finances and so. Or what, you know, what level they're at. And so I think that there are a few things. Most of us don't need more stuff. We. We just really don't. We don't need more stuff, but we're responding to triggers that are happening in our lives. And can I say, when I'm pointing a finger, there are four pointing back at me. So anything I'm saying in this whole conversation is something that I have either either wrestled through or still am. Like, oh, well, that came up again. Darn it. Like, we have to. We have to wrestle that trigger to the ground again. So I really see that there are three, Boredom. I. I know most people don't think that they are bored, but we love to have our minds occupied. And even. You know, it used to be you would get the Sears catalog into your house. Oh, yeah, right. And you. Oh, yeah, you'd flip through the pages.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You with a Sharpie.

Kathi Lipp: Yes, absolutely. I knew exactly what I was going to ask Santa or my parents for. now these ads are unescapable. Even if you're not watching a screen, if you've got your Alexa on it is coming on, listening to the radio or listening to a podcast, there are going to be ads there as well. There are so many different ways for ads to sneak into our house that we don't even notice. So I think, sometimes boredom leads to scrolling and scrolling leads to shopping. I. I'll never.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, Kathi, hold on. We're already at our first break, so hold on, because we're just.

Dr. Jessica Peck: We're.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You said three things and we're only on number one. And we're going to talk about that because my husband, again, Kathi, he loves when he's on here, he's already telling me yes. See, scrolling leads to Amazon cart. And that is not. Add to cart is not therapy. So we will talk about those other two things that lead us to over consume. We're also going to talk about not feeling guilty for not buying all the gifts. For not buying the nicest gift. How do you say no without feeling guilty? Well, we're going to help you with that when we come back with Kathy Lipp.

Preborn Network helps women choose life through a free ultrasound

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It's Christmas (Medley/Live) by Chris Tomlin: no crib for the little Lord Jesus Lay down his sweet head the stars in the sky look down where he lay the little lord Jesus asleep on the hay the cattle are lowing the baby but little Lord Jesus no crying he makes I love thee Lord Jesus look down from the sky and stay by my cradle Till morning is nigh it's Christmas. The angels are singing and I know the reason the Savior is born It's Christmas. The bells are ringing and I feel like shouting

Dr. Jessica Peck: To the world welcome back, friends. That is It's Christmas by Chris Tomlin. And whether you put up your tree after Thanksgiving or not, Christmas is coming. And when you go to the store, you're starting to see all those decorations. I know there's some of you who don't like to play Christmas music till after Thanksgiving. Just give me a little grace here, will you? We'll have one Christmas song and one not Christmas song. I am so excited about Christmas. But I want you to get your hearts ready so that you can have the best Christmas ever for your family. Now, by the that I don't mean the best gifts or the most perfectly orchestrated Christmas. I mean the most meaningful one that you feel good about. Because when you start scrolling through social media about this time of year, you start to see things that make you feel maybe behind and maybe not as content. You start to see these perfectly staged Christmas trees. Oh, maybe I'll change the theme on my tree. Or maybe I'll, you know, do something different. Or maybe I need this new ornament. You start to see matching pajamas, like maybe we need to get those, or cookies. And you start to think about a baking day. And you see all of these smiling families that are getting along so great. And it's easy to start feeling behind even before we begin. And this, my friends, is not an accident. The average American will see between 4,000 and 10,000 advertisements per day. And the holiday season is amplifying that message. You don't have enough. You need more. You need to buy more. You need to get more. Your family deserves more. And the result? Families are not, only overspending, they're also overstimulated. They're overextended in, many ways. The American Psychological association reports that three and four adults say the holidays bring increased stress, especially from financial pressure, from those time demands, from buying more stuff. And parents feel torn between the desire they want to be generous and, but they're also exhausted. And the paradox is that buying more doesn't make us feel any better. It makes us. Sometimes buying more makes us feel less. And that's because every impulse purchase offers that quick hit of dopamine, not lasting joy, that is supposed to be there. And as Kathi Lipp, our decluttering queen, is teaching us so wisely, this cycle has more to do with emotional currency than it does with financial currency. And so she's going to talk to us about a meat framework. And that's money, energy, emotions, time. We'll talk about that to show that there we need to have some balance. And before the break, we were talking about why we feel this need to buy more. And Kathi, you were going to tell us three things. And the first one was boredom. And you're just about to tell us a story. But before she tells us the story, let me tell you a story for you because she is having a free workshop that is F R E E free doesn't cost you a thing. On, November 13th, we're going to post this on our social media. You can find it on her website, too. November 13th at 9.0am m. I'll let you tell us the time zone, Kathi. It's called your least cluttered Christmas. So invite them and then tell us your story about boredom.

Kathi Lipp: And yeah, so, that's 9 o' clock Pacific, so noon Eastern time. And if you just go to Facebook and you look for clutter, Free Academy, ask to join the group. And this is not one of those workshops that says and now here's how you buy the 700 package to no, this is just free. This is what we do for our community because we are all in this together and we want you to be a part of it. We have a workbook. You can download it. It's, it's, it's going to be great. But yeah, you know, I think about the times I have been scrolling and I come across a jacket or I come across, let me tell you, the, the one that really got me was, I take a medication that needs to be refrigerated. And I, you know, I've traveled with this and things like that. Well, they have a, a pouch that you can buy that has the cooling agent in it. And I, it. I literally said, oh, I didn't know that I needed that. Right, yes, ma'. Am.

Kathi Lipp: Yes. And it's so easy. Think about, you know, 20 years ago, there would be an advertisement for, you know, some, a toy and it would go out to everybody. But now they can micro target us.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Yes.

Kathi Lipp: And online people know that I take this medication and they can target. Right. But it's scary.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It is true.

Kathi Lipp: And they can target it to me, and I'm like, oh, like I'm. They made this just for me. No, I have cooler packs in my house that I can use. It's fine. I. We don't. Our 1.1min of inconvenience isn't worth $30 of purchase, and I need to remember that. And also, you know, buying things that are kind of your kid adjacent, maybe they have a hobby, and so you buy them an ornament with that hobby on it. Here's the thing. Hobbies change. Not everybody needs. You know, if you're. If your grandchild says, I like a frog, you don't have to buy them every frog of figurine that is in existence. Right? So when we get bored, one way we can crush the boredom is with a hit of dopamine, like you were just saying. And buying something gives us that dopamine. But then we complain about our cluttered homes, and so we want to stop that. So that was number one. number two, stress over guilt gifting. sometimes it's. If we don't have the relationship that we absolutely want, we don't get to see our grown kids as much as we want. We don't get to see our parent. You know, I haven't called my mom as much as I want, so it's very easy to want to buy that connection. And, you know, instead of always buying, is there something else that you can do? Can. If it's with your grandchild, can you watch the same movie at the same time and, you know, send them some popcorn and some candy that they can watch and you both be on FaceTime while you're watching the movie. What is it that you can do that isn't another thing to add? Because here's the thing. Your. Your kids don't want their grandkids to have all of that stuff. That generation wants less stuff. Right, Jessica?

Dr. Jessica Peck: That's true. That's absolutely true.

My mom asks for three suggestions for each grandkid

Kathi Lipp: Yeah. So let's. Let's calm down. I think one of the things that I really appreciate is my mom asks for three suggestions for each grandkid, and they're old enough now that they provide those, but, you know, to get them something they really want, and then a little surprise sometimes with my guidance, and then, you know, they. They give a lot of experiences like my kids have given my mom. we'll come over for three hours and Help you clean out your gar. And my mom would take that over any gift, any day of the week. And then finally, fomo, Just fear of missing out. you know those. Those tights I like are going on sale. I should stock up because this is the only time they're going on sale. No, no, it's not. No, it's going to go on sale again. I promise you. And, if you have one. Exercise I like to do is things that I tend to buy. What are things that I'm totally full on. Like, we are puzzle heads at our house. We love a good puzzle. You know what? We probably have enough puzzles, at least for the foreseeable future. Mugs. I don't need any more mugs. Candles, you know, there are all these things that I've got enough. And I one time had my mom told me I don't need any more earrings. This one, she was working and, you know, I would buy her earrings all the time because she got really excited about them, but she's like, I'm good. I'm like, that was great information. Yes, exactly. We're done with that. But, you know, we. If you have. If you see something come on sale, I guarantee. And can I just scream this from the mountaintops for Black Friday?

Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, goodness. Okay, wait, let me. I gotta put on my tough suit first.

Make a list of five things you want to buy people for Christmas

Okay. All right.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm a little scared, but, I'm ready.

Kathi Lipp: Yes. Okay, friend, here's what I'm gonna ask you to do, okay? If you really are that Black Friday sale kind of person. Okay, okay, I'm. I'm not going to. I'm not gonna yuck your yum, I promise you. But I want you to make a list. List of five things that, you know you want to buy people for Christmas. Five things. And if you have more kids than that or more people in your immediate family, you can up the number. But that's what you're going to buy on Black Friday if the sale is good enough. Because we've all seen those Amazon deals. This is 4% off. You know, that does not need to create a sense of urgency for us, right? So if you like to shop on Black Friday or Cyber Monday, make that list of things that you would be buying anyway and look for the best price. Do the research to get the best price and check it off. But don't just abandon all common sense and like, oh, maybe he would like that thought. Oh, that could be good. And just because it's on sale, we talk ourselves into things because they're on sale. And we, that has got to stop. If you're a cluttery person, we have to nip that in the bud because a lot of the things that are around your house that you're like, why do I even own that have happened because they've been on sale.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, Kathi, always, you give me homework and I'm writing it down and I will be accountable. I will report back. I can already, I'm not checking my phone, but I know my husband's texting me, saying five things, Jessica, five things on Friday, which I'm going to do my very best for. But there's two things that you said that are really important. First is to recognize that marketing influence. It is really scary how much that companies know about us and how they micro target us, as you said. And so this is a really good time to have a fast from social media, to step away from that scroll and to fill your time with something else so that you aren't tempted to buy things. The second thing you said that that's so important, Kathi, is that many times when we feel compelled to buy that gift, we're trying to buy a connection. That's what you said. And that man, that really just, zinged right through my heart and straight down to my toes. Because that's a lot of times what we do. Whether as parents, we're trying to buy a connection to our kids, like to give them a magical Christmas so that we'll think they'll think we're the best parents ever. And Kathi, you know as well as I do what happens is within two days of Christmas, the stuff that you bought them is on the floor of the bedroom. And then you're mad because you start the lecture of you don't appreciate anything that you have. You don't even take care of anything. And I bought you this and I spent money on it. Now you have this. I've gifted you this obligation to take care of something you didn't want or ask for in the first place. And I think that's really important. And I said two things, but I'm going to add three. I'll add one more because I think the other thing that we need. I'm cluttering our conversation, but that's okay. I know you'll excuse me, but I think one of the things that we need to be grateful for is even if you have the means to do that, there are people who you don't. And that is such a gift. And the way that we steward our money and even when we talk about buying experiences. I know there's a lot of talk about that to say. Well, it sounds privileged to say that, you know, when, when you don't realize it. But you said going over to help your mother in law clean the garage. Is that what I heard you say? That was the gift.

Kathi Lipp: Yes, yes, yes.

Dr. Jessica Peck: That costs no money. And what a great experience to gift. I love the thought of that. And I'm sure that your mom, mom was thrilled with the time that they got to spend together. Yeah.

Kathi Lipp: Yes. Yeah. let's be honest. they clean garage for like an hour and a half and then my mom took everybody out to lunch. So, you know, but because. Yes. She wants that time with her grandkids. Absolutely.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah.

This is all about how do you meet your needs going into the holidays

Well, talk us through this meat framework that I, that I just previewed a little bit because these are more practical tools to help us with decision making. And you have taught me in my life this year, Kathi, to pre decide things. And, I want to pre decide that. Let's start. We're already coming up on our second break. My board operator is telling me and I, he always tells me radio is so rude. We're about to come up on a break, but give us, give us an introduction and then when we come back from break, we'll start walking through these things.

Kathi Lipp: This is all about how do you meet your needs? And we all have four resources, money, energy, emotional bandwidth with, and time. And here's the thing, there are probably a couple of those that you're good on and a couple that you're running really low on. And it's really good to know what you've got in abundance and what you've got scarcity on as you go into the holidays.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, that is good. What a great, what a great preview for the next segment because you're absolutely right. And thinking about it, if you have a shortage of money, do you have an abundance of energy or do you, if you have a shortage emotional bandwidth, do you have time or, you know, those kinds of things to swap off? I really want to talk about that because spiritually, what Kathi and I are really encouraging you to do, what we're trying to do ourselves, is in this culture right now to do something that is countercultural, to see real needs, needs in your family and meet those real needs that you have. And instead of medicating your own emotional needs that you have, really identifying what is that urge that you're having to overspend to over buy and how do we really get rid of the guilt that comes with Christmas gifting. Let me tell you the rest that Jesus offers isn't in a shopping cart. It's not wrapped under a Christmas tree. It's found in his presence. And that's where you need to be spending your time. We'll be back with Kathi Lipp after this break. Don't go away.

American Family association seeks to stop erosion of godly values

Dr. Ray Rooney: I'm Dr. Ray Rooney. The mission of American Family association is to inform, equip and activate individuals and families to strengthen the moral foundations of American culture and give aid to the church here and abroad. In its task of fulfilling the Great Commission, AFA aims to evangelize the lost and disciple the believer. Thank you for standing with the American Family association as we seek to stop the erosion of godly values. When you hear this. This is American Family News. You know what follows is the truth. Your news from a Christian perspective. Hundreds of, teachers are going to have to walk into that school building and they are forced to swallow political ideology that in many cases violates their very faith and conscience. If you miss it at the top of the hour, American Family News podcasts are available at afn.net and sign up for our daily news brief at afn.net you gave.

Oh But God by Davy Flowers : Me truth worth believing and I traded my chains for your freedom Cuz you were the one that I needed oh but God resurrected my heart from the ruins and my rescue came through like the morning and now this is my sure testimony oh but God oh but God rich in mercy how you love me too much to let me stay long My salvation.

Dr. Jessica Peck: welcome back friends. That is oh but God by Davy Flowers And that is my testimony in my life for sure but God but for the grace of God I am so grateful for that every day and I'm so grateful for you. And we are here for another episode of the Declutter Diaries with Kathi Lipp. If you've been following along, we have been doing an episode about once a month for the last year and I'm so excited to tell you that Kathi is going to join me for another year.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Now here is the main reason why I'm just going to be very transparent with you. I still have some work to do. It turns out a year wasn't enough to kick my clutter habit. Although, Kathi, I've learned so much from you. I have stopped my auto ship because I realize I live two minutes from a store. I could walk there if I needed to and get something in five seconds. And I have learned how to pre decide things. I have started to declutter in 10 to 15 minute intervals. Rather than giving my family the dreaded waking up to loud worship music saying, it's a project day, we're cleaning out the fill in the blank. They're so happy that that is gone. We just do that in short times. I've learned that I don't need to keep all of the memorabilia of my motherhood to prove that I was a good mom. My kids know it. I can be confident in that. See, look how far we've come, Kathi. But we still have so far to go. And today we are talking about the clutter that comes in with the holidays and how we spend our time, how we accumulate more stuff, how we feel guilty about it, how we're bored. We're looking for that. We're scrolling. We're looking for that dopamine hit. We're stressed. We have fear of missing out. But, Kathi, you are about to introduce us as you did to the meat framework. Thinking about what you have and what you don't. Give us more guidance. Teach me, teach me, oh, friend Teach me, Teach me your ways.

Kathi Lipp: I do want to say this, Jessica. you have been collecting like everybody else has, decades of clutter. We all do.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Did you just tell me I'm old? Did you just call me old?

Dr. Jessica Peck: No.

Kathi Lipp: I have two decades, right?

Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah, that's a. That's about it. That's. That's close enough. But, yes, you're right.

Kathi Lipp: Exactly.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You're absolutely right.

Kathi Lipp: So it takes. It's. It takes a long time to unpack. Why do I do this? Why do I do the things I don't want to do? I mean, the Bible says, why do I do the things I don't want to do? And so we are unpacking that all together. But here's the thing. We can. We don't have to be punishing. And so much of this is punishing. And I think, you know, I was raised by somebody who was raised by people in the Great Depression. And, you know, spending money is a sin. Except, you know, if. If I want. If I really want it, then, you know, it must be okay. Like, we have these crazy up and downs, you know, like, we want to save all this time and we save all this time on by, you know, buying convenience. And then we spend that time watching Grey's Anatomy again, pointing at myself four times. Games, you know, for every. Yeah.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Or we spend our time back to earn the money to pay for what we just bought.

Kathi Lipp: It's so true. It's so true. And guys, if you think I'm. Oh, Kathi. You're hitting a little too close to home. We all do this, and so we have to unpack, these things.

So when I was talking before about how do you meet your needs,

So when I was talking before about how do you meet your needs, M e e t money, energy, emotional bandwidth, and time, I would just really invite you to reflect on what do you have an abundance of and what are you low on. So for me, you know, Jessica knows this. I have long Covid. My energy is just, it's the worst it's ever been, except for when I had mono when I was 14. Like this, it feels like mono every day. my time is also incredibly precious because I only have a couple of hours a day where I really can get things done. And then, but here's the beautiful thing, emotional bandwidth. I'm pretty good on, you know, I don't have a lot of, very stressful relationships in my life now that has come through a lot of eliminating or redefining some of those relationships. Also, you know, right now, many people I love are, are, are, you know, going through cancer and things. But at the moment everybody is okay. So my emotional bandwidth is, is okay. And we're at a point in our lives where money isn't a daily stressor. It doesn't mean we don't get stressed about money, but it's not a daily thing. So I have to realize going into this time, what I'm, what I'm carrying in is a little bit of cushion with money and emotional balance with now, results may vary. And, you know, results may vary.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Sorry, I have to laugh at that.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah, you have to figure out what's going to work for you. Right. And so what, what does that mean? That, okay, right now I'm low on energy and time. It means I'm not making a lot of our presents, but I am going on Etsy to buy some handmade presents for people that I love. Because money is not the tightest thing. Emotional, bandwidth. I, I, I can have people at my house, but I also have a good enough relationship with them to say, hey, I can't do all the cooking that I normally do. I can't do all the things we normally do. And can I tell you, I, I will say the girls in that we have, have stepped up. The boys, well, men are lagging a little behind, but, but we have some family traditions that I was just, I didn't even tell them I was skipping. I'm like, yeah, I'm not buying and wrapping everybody their own toothbrush that they open up and they try to guess the color of the toothbrush. This is a tradition for my husband's family. And my daughter said, do you want me to take over the toothbrushes this year? And I was like, yes, I really, really do. So I can have these conversations about what we're doing and not doing and invite people into. Hey, can you bring this? Can you bring. Those are the ways that I'm meeting my needs this holiday season.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And we do need to meet our own needs and acknowledge our limitations. And, Kathi, I want to talk about simplifying Christmas. And if you're in a season where you need to do that for whatever reason, like, you have shared, Kathi, because of your health, it's a year where you need to simplify that Christmas. There are years where money is tight. My husband and I have had that, before. And you feel so much pressure. How do we give gifts without apologizing for that, without it feeling like it's restrictive, without. Like it's not a punishment? How do we set that boundary to say, here's the way that we're simplifying this? You know, one of the examples would be like, you know, I'm the oldest of five kids. Well, for our siblings, we have been at a lot of different places at different times in our life. And, you know, I remember one year in particular, when my younger brother, he got my name for Christmas. And I had no idea he was so stressed out because he was at a point where he was in college, he did not have any money, and he. He just didn't come to Christmas. Like, he literally didn't come to Christmas and never said anything because he felt so bad about not being able to get me anything. And I think when we think about some of those exchanges like that, and then you see other kids, you know, who are coming in with a, gift that's handmade, you know, for each. For each person. And, oh, we brought you back this, you know, like, handcrafted, personalized thing. And other kids whose parents are struggling go to the dollar store. That is a reality. How do we simplify that and. And ease those expectations so they don't have the obligation? Honestly, Kathi, you know, I think back to my brother, and if he had bought me something, like, it probably would have been something that I would not have cherished or treasured. I would have just wanted the time with him. How do we make the way for those conversations?

Kathi Lipp: Yeah, so I think today we are hitting the middle of November, and today is the day to have that conversation, to say, hey, guys, finances Are tight. Can we, can we choose something else? So all of the sibling, we do the same thing. All of the siblings choose, a name out of the hat and they buy one gift. They're not buying, you know, gifts for, the, you know, the sibling and the significant other. Anything like that. You just get one name and one gift. I said to the kids last year, hey, how about, stockings are fun and I love doing them. But it became a huge task because we now have about 12 people who come to our Christmas every year. And one of the kids suggested, hey, what if we all just bought one thing for each stocking, like, kept it under $5. And all the kids are gainfully employed. And by the way, if one of them wasn't, I would be perfectly happy to say, hey, I want to come alongside you. Or can we make something together? Like one of the things we're doing because it's very easy and very low stress and I've done it for years is, but I haven't done it for a few years is I'm making everybody vanilla extract. And it's super easy to do. I just bought some cool bottles. But if one of my kids said, hey, I can't do that this year, we would have done that together. So it's just, just the more time you have, the less panic when there are, when you're trying to do something creative like that. And don't underestimate your own creativity. Is, is there a, you know, is there a picture that is on their, Instagram that they just love? You could go and have that printed out and go to a, of a, ah, resale shop or a Goodwill and find a frame. My hint is find the best frame first and then print the picture to fit that size frame. Because you can, costs so little to print a picture. But there are creative things that you can do. Or maybe you do an inside joke with that person about, you know, the time that you, you stole your uncle. Uncle's dice set. And so you just find a dice set and you wrap it in a beautiful box or something like that. You know, there are so many things that you can do that are going to be special or ask them, is there something about that hobby that you love? Like, I've just gotten into embroidery and there are a couple of things I would love, but I'm not buying for myself because it's just like, it's a want, it's not a need. But if somebody asked me, I'm like, oh yeah, I would like A needle holder, you know, though, something simple, but it's thoughtful. There are many things you can do. Be creative.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I agree. And you know, one of the things that's really powerful that we all have, Kathi, that we all have to give is the power of a spoken word, the power of words, of affirmation. And especially if you know someone in their life, in your life, that their, their gift, their, I mean, their love language is words of affirmation. I'm just imagining, Kathi, how powerful would it be if you want to give your gift to that person in front of the family and you give a speech about great they are and tell the things that they have done? I'm telling you, I guarantee you there are moms on here listening, thinking, oh, yeah, if my husband gave me that for Christmas, I would love that. My kids gave me that for Christmas, I would love that. Especially when, you know that money is tight and it's not just, oh, I didn't, you know, think about you or go out and give you a gift. But sometimes that is really not a possibility. And I have lived through many of those seasons in my life and I think just having, having the power of, of a word, of affirmation can be really, really and just something personal. Like you said, just even writing a story on the back of that picture, sharing something like that is really helpful. And Kathi, I just feel really led in my heart right now to give a shout out to all of the teachers right now who are already starting to dread the clutter that is going to come on their desks at Christmas, right? From, from parents who want to experience, you know, want to express gratitude. Do you have any. We're at, our two minute warning again. Oh my goodness. My board operator. Give a, give a quick word of encouragement for that.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah, so I know some teachers and here is, what I would say is, what you just said. If you, you know, depending on the age of your kid, why do you like your teacher and can they write something? Can you write something? And then you put, put the five dollar Starbucks card if that's all you can afford. one thing that one of my friends did was she baked, a. She made dough for a dozen types of cookies and put that into freezer bags and said, here, I just want you to be able to bake cookies anytime during the holidays.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Great.

Kathi Lipp: Isn't that a great idea? Yes. And so think about those things that, if you have more appreciation than money. That's such a gift.

Dr. Jessica Peck: That is such a gift. And Kathi, you are a gift. And Kathy's gift to you today is to invite you to her free workshop on November 13th. That's 9am Pacific Time. It's called your least cluttered Christmas. You can find that on our social media on her website, go to Facebook. And what do you look up, Kathi?

Kathi Lipp: Just look. Look up Clutter Free Academy and ask.

Dr. Jessica Peck: To join Clutter Free Academy. Tell them you are friends of the doctor Nurse mama show that let you in. And hey, wherever you are in your holiday preparations, friend, I sincerely, I really do pray.

I pray every day that the Lord will bless you and keep you

I pray every day that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you and give you peace in the middle of holiday chaos even, even before it starts. Hey, I'll see you right back here tomorrow. And I can't wait. Have a great night.

Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.