Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. Here on American Family Radio.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck. Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite part of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you. Prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And it is fry. Yay. I'm so excited that it's Friday. I love the season of summer. I don't know why, it just feels different. Different. I've been a mom for a long time now, so the rhythm, I've gotten used to the rhythm of having my kids at home and having no homework and no lunches and just kind of a generally more relaxed pace. And it's a little odd because I've been a nurse working night shifts and all kinds of different things. So maybe you relate to that. And sometimes the weeks don't feel very regular, but Friday just always brings with it a special kind of joy. And it is Ask doctor Nursemama Friday. I'm going to be answering some of your questions today about tech. Now, if you've been following along since January, 52 habits for healthy families. Listen, these are science supported, research backed, daily disciplines that you can use to really change the dynamic of your family. There is no life hack, there is no miracle cure. There is no nothing that's going to make your family instantly the perfect family overnight or really ever, if I'm really honest. But we can have healthy families and that is the goal of this show. That is why I come on every single day. That's why my producer, my team and I, we pray very much that God would give us wisdom to be able to give you information that equips you, that encourages you, that empowers you. Because we know if you're here listening that your heartbeat just cries for a healthy family. That is what you want more than anything in life is just for your family, your relationships to be healthy. So we started in January. If you've missed it, you can go to the Doctor Nurse Mama coaching minutes. You can find, find that on the podcast on AFR's website on their app and you can catch just one minute little updates of what those habits are. Or you can listen to any Friday show where I go into greater detail. We started in January with spiritual disciplines and then we talked about some rhythms for your family. We talked about some communication techniques and then we started to talk about just some healthy habits. And now we're talking about tech, all things tech. Now some of the things that we've covered specifically, specifically and in our tech saturated world are talking about watching media with your family and especially those things that are edifying, those things that are faith based. We talked about being in pictures and using pictures, your home, family photos as a means of discipleship. We talked about unplugging when you're on vacation and having some time away because we are in a world where we're 24. Seven connected and vacation is different. We talked last week about having tech free zones, having those places where technology does not rudely interrupt your surroundings. And this week I'm talking about tech free times. So we're going to spend a few more weeks here talking about tech because there are a lot of things to talk about and whether this impacts you personally or whether you have family members and that this impacts there is wisdom here for us all to share.

Psalm 62 is the verse that I'm meditating on this week

And the verse that I'm meditating on this week comes from Psalm 62. It's 62. 5. For God alone, oh my soul wait in silence for my hope is from him. And we have a world that is on 24. 7. I know I've said this before. Many of you probably remember the world where the TV would actually go off at midnight, the Star Spangled Banner would play, and then it was just those bars that would go across the TV and you are out of luck. You had nothing to read but the cereal box or the shampoo bottle until the morning. And we just don't have that anymore. When you look at the amount of content that about, it's estimated about 300 hours of content is uploaded to YouTube every minute. Now what are kids supposed to do with that kind of overload? That's why we all spend three hours trying to decide what we're going to watch. Because, you know, we don't have just the three things to pick from Blockbuster or the three channels that we're going to fix with the rabbit ears. I know I' all nostalgic today, but that's the Gen Xer coming out in me. And I don't apologize for it, but let's dive in and let's talk about it because I've got some things to say today and I might get a little preachy, I'll try not to, but I feel really passionate.

Pediatric nurse practitioner worried about impact of COVID 19 on young people

So listen in one of the things that is really bothering me as a pediatric nurse practitioner, as a professor, and as a mom who has kids who are now older teenagers and young adults, I am really, really worried about COVID 19. I know you probably didn't expect me to say that some of you think, no, we don't, don't talk about that. I don't want to talk about that. Listen, we may want to move on from COVID We may think, I don't want to talk about that anymore at all. But the reality from my perspective is that the world is bearing witness right now to a technological explosion of innovation that happened during COVID that has catastrophic impact on young people in this generation. And we've got to acknowledge it. And looking back at 2020, that's a year that really shall forever live in infamy. The public rejoiced because there wasn't severe physical illness or death in children. This is true. And that was a blessing. That was the case and that was something to be celebrated. But the public narrative really became, well, Covid is not a kid thing. It's not impacting kids. I want to go on record as saying I continue to be extremely concerned about the ongoing impacts of the social, emotional and psychological injuries that our children endured during the COVID 19 lockdowns. It is, it is devastating the things that happened. And we're really still trying to all put that together. It's hard to do. And it's hard to do that from a research based perspective that where we're not letting emotions drive the narrative, which we all have emotions, clearly I do too. But we've got to follow the facts. So let me, let me walk you through kind of what I've been thinking about now. As children shifted to remote learning, when school was canceled, when all of their extracurricular activities were canceled, when every physical social interaction with anyone outside their immediate family was canceled, they didn't see neighbors. We had grandparents, parents who were afraid to see their grandkids. And those things, those fears were very real and they changed family dynamics. And we had parents who were preoccupied with stressors including do I transition to remote work? Do I lose my work? Do I work on the front line? But maybe I'll bring Covid home to my family. All of these things. Will my family members get sick? We have economic pressures now because inflation is going through the roof and we're trying to manage homeschooling now.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: One good thing that came out of that is we had a lot of parents who did get more engaged with their kids schooling. And we've seen a resurgence or a surge, a surge actually in homeschooling and other ways that parents are being more involved in schooling, which is great because we need that now. We see social media platforms like TikTok and They were popular before the pandemic, but it exploded in popularity during the lockdowns because kids had nothing else to do except be on their phones. There were a lot of instances where kids were even afraid to go outside because what if I run into the neighbor kid? And we just were, we, we seeped our kids in this culture of fear where they started to fear their friends and their family and their neighbors because there was just, it was a fear driven narrative. Now kids who were born as digital, digital natives, they became even more tech savvy because they were using remote learning platforms that we, we threw screen time out the window because we would say don't have screen time. Oh, but screen is the only way that you're going or have any interaction with the outside world or do anything that distracts you so that I can get whatever done that I need to, have done. But we had a rise of educational apps, we had a rise of online tutors. Those were common. And because kids couldn't gather in person, it normalized talking to people online. Now at first maybe they just talked to people they knew, but it really blurred the lines to think it's just normal to talk to people online. And we had augmented reality learning tools. Tools, these were used in school. But it really starts to blur the lines for kids who have not developed the ability to think concretely. They couldn't think that. It's hard for them to imagine what's real and what's really not real. We had gamification of nearly everything. And that also distorts some ethical lines because we started to gamify real life situations. Now I have followed several advocacy groups who have really advocated against this. And I'm going to say some things that are little difficult to hear. I'll say them as softly as I can, but you may want to adjust your listening audience. But we have gamifying of assault. We have gamifying of really well, that's all I'm going to say about that. But you can just use your imagination, imagine the most horrible kinds of assault that you can imagine. And these things are being gamified online. All of this is just because we had this huge innovation of technology which there's some good things that came out of that, but there's also risk. And my concern is that we're using this as an experimentation ground for our kids and we're letting our kids have the great social experiment and try all of these things when we really don't know how or when or if they're safe. And that Is that's concerning now.

Kids increasingly seeking sedentary online activities instead of outdoor playtime

The advent of artificial intelligence or AI has literally changed the world indelibly, permanently in the last two years. And now we imagine a world where kids grow up with these technological advances that are considered a normal part of culture. So just walk through with me here. Let's look at the landscape of childhood. So instead of seeking unstructured outside playtime where they're using their imaginations, they're using their bodies to be active, kids are increasingly seeking sedentary online activities. They're in the house all day, sitting, gaming, consuming media. I know because I've served as a camp nurse for more than a decade in the summers. And I see all of these kids come in and they have a really hard time adjusting to outside and they tell me, I usually just sit on a screen. We now have digital communication is preferred over real person interaction. Kids would prefer that you text them. You've probably seen reels about this or maybe stories about this, or maybe someone has told you this in person. Younger kids can tend to get offended if older generations actually call them on the phone. They think that's rude. Why didn't you text that? Says a call seems like so intrusive when as older generations, we view that as a measure of respect. I said we. Yes, I did. I'm older. I say just pick up the phone and call them. It's better to call. But kids have fear of in person interactions in some contexts because they can order everything on a kiosk or online. They don't have as much practice in reading body language. They don't know how to have healthy conflict resolution. It's just unfriend, disconnect, just ghost them, Don't m. Just walk away. Instant gratification is normalized because kids have immediate access to an endless array of electronic entertainment. This is relying on dopamine. They're seeking dopamine hits. That's all that they want is that dopamine, serotonin. Those feel good hits from watching something that makes me laugh, watching something that makes me feel like oh, other feel good hormones. They're using these to emotionally regulate. It's also very, very normal for families to individually consume electronic media on a personal dev. How often are you sitting in your living room? This tends to happen in my family too, where you have everybody with their phone, their iPad, their laptop, whatever it is, their device, and everybody's watching their own thing. We're all in the same room. But there is a difference in watching something together and experiencing an emotional journey together and being Able to talk about what you saw together and that weekends bonding time. We also have hyper stimulation of short form digital content. So we are literally changing the structure of kids brains by training them to only pay attention for 30 or 40 seconds. That's scary. We have traditional gatekeeping by present adults who are physically present with physical barriers. They prevent you from having an early exposure maybe to violent or explicit content or from taking a risk behavior. But now we just have unsupervised online time. We have a steady supply of predators. We have thousands of strangers who are streaming into our children's bedrooms, most intimate spaces every night unsupervised. This is something we got to wake up out of our apathy. We've got to engage. We also have artificial intelligence enabling nudifying apps that. Yeah, I said nudifying. That means allowing innocent pictures and videos, removing clothing from those and generating explicit material. We have AI used to generate chatbots that are personally designed and curated to be a child's friend. Friend. They can name them what they want, dress them what they want and train them to be their friend. I even saw a news report this week of a man actually proposing to a chatbot and crying, being overjoyed when she. I use that term loosely because it's not a person said, yes, this is concerning. I've got more things that are concerning when we come up, when we come back. But don't go away because there is help and hope. Hope. Before we finish today, I'm going to talk about how you can have an unplugged old fashioned summer. The kind that we all dream about running through the hose and then getting your water from there because oh my goodness. Heavens to Betsy. Can't believe we were that wild and crazy. But we were. When we come back, more on tech free times. I'll see you on the other side of this break. because of listeners like you. PreBorn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies. Your $28 to sponsor one ultrasound doubled a baby's chance at life. Your tax- deductible gift saves lives. Please join us in this life saving mission. To donate go to preborn.com/AFR. will you take a moment and celebrate life with me?

Last year, Preborn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies from abortion

Last year, PreBorn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies from abortion. Hi, this is Jessica Peck, host of the Dr. Nurse Mama Show. And I want to thank you for your partnership. Think about what you did. 67,000 babies are taking their first breath now because of you. Your $28 sponsored one ultrasound that was given to a woman as she was Deciding about the future of her child. Once she saw her precious baby for the first time and heard their sweet heartbeat her baby's chance at life doubled. But preborn's mission is not only to rescue babies lives, but also to lead women to Christ. Last year preborn network clinics saw 8,900 women receive salvation. Your help is crucial to continue their life saving work. Your caring tax- deductible donation saves lives. So please be generous. to donate go to preborn.com/AFR, that's preborn.com/AFR, or dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250. baby, your love can save a life. Preborn's whole mission is to rescue babies from abortion and lead their families to Christ. Last year Preborn's network of clinics saw 8,900 mothers. Come to Christ. Christ, please join us in this life saving mission. To donate go to preborn.com/AFR. oh.

>> Your Way's Better by Forrest Frank: Lord, I need you now more than ever Would you put my heart back together? I searched the world 'til my head hurt just to find out your way's better. Oh, your way's  better. also you're always, ah, always better. Oh Lord, your way's better Jesus. your way's better Lord, I am so thankful for the ways that you bless me. Everything you say making waves like a jet ski. You love every part of me even when I was messy. Now I see the heart and your beauty so I can finally sing out Jehovah-Jireh provider. Your way always gets me higher.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: They're just gonna keep on playing it. Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. See, apparently I came in too soon. I think my team was giving me a subtle message that we want to keep playing that song. It is, it is a great message that God's way is better. And I think that is a real struggle for families today, especially for parents. I was just talking with my team about how this generation gap between Gen X, even between millennials and Gen Z, it just seems huge. And we can give them such an encouraging message, not a, shaming message, not a, our world was so much better than your world. I would hate to grow up in your world. All these negative messages that we give them, but we can empower them and partner our old school skills with their fresh world perspective and really have an intergenerational bond. And that is really what is biblically modeled to us. We can have older women teach the younger women and all of those ways that we see generations teaching and helping each other today is ask doctor, nurse, mama Friday for a yay. And I'm talking about the post Covid, which we're really not post Covid because Covid is still impacting our world. We're talking about the ways that COVID lockdowns impacted our kids. And we're tying that into the healthy habit this week, which is creating tech free zones in your house. So I want you to think about creating some zones, some places, that are tech free and that can be really, really hard to do because screens have really invaded every area of our life. So that means we have to be intentional about it.

One in five teens report experiencing sextortion, according to new research

Now I was talking about some of the risks that have come with online increased online innovation. And I do want to talk about one more thing that is a little, difficult to talk about. So adjust your listing audience. I've talked about this before, but one of the things I'm very concerned about is the rise of something called sextortion. Now this is extortion using explicit images. And it is happening to a lot of really great kids who just make poor decisions. When we put a phone into a kid's hand, sometimes their thumb moves faster than the prefrontal cortex in their brain. The prefrontal cortex is what directs our executive decision making. It's logic. What develops first for kids in their brain is their amygdala. That's their emotions, their fear driven response. And so sometimes it can just be tempting just to, impulsively, because kids are impulsive, click something on your phone and then all of a sudden you are pulled down a rabbit hole that you never intended to be in. So for those of you who maybe haven't heard this concept before, sextortion is where people online will go and look. They're looking specifically for kids who are easy to target. That's kids with public social media accounts. Because there's a lot of what the intelligence community actually calls open source information. I know who's your principal, who's your pastor, who's your parent, and I can blackmail you pretty easily. They usually will pose as a peer. that would be appealing, relationally appealing in whatever context that is. They pull them into a relationship and before they know it, they're exchanging explicit text messages, audio messages, photos, videos. And then when the, that person sends that information and they have that information to blackmail, then the person, the extortionist is saying, you give me more or I'm going to tell your parents or I'm going to, you know, you give me money or whatever it is. I just saw some research that was released by Thorne which is an organization that actually is committed to using digital solutions to fight human trafficking. And this is what they reported this week. What came across my inbox. One in five teens, one in five report experiencing sextortion. One in five. That is the first time I've seen that big of a statistic. But it didn't surprise me just given what I see in the context of my everyday interactions. One in seven of those kids were driven to self harm. As a result, 81% of the threats are occurring exclusively online. One in six children were under 12 years old when they were extorted. One in eight was extorted by a deep fake. That's that nudifying technology that I was talking about someone made of them. So they may see that image and they think I didn't do that image. I didn't, I didn't give that, that's not me. How is everybody else going to know that's not me? Who's going to believe me? And 44% of the kids reported that that imagery used to extort them was acquired without their consent. Now what does that mean? That was kind of wordy. It means that these are just public pictures taken off the Internet maybe. I see your friend has a public account and they posted a picture of you at the ice cream shop. And I took that and I made it something different. This is something that is really terrifying and, and we really have to face the realities that kids are facing today. So I have talked about that on other shows and so I'm not going to spend too much time on it today. But just to say that is increasing. And I do think that a contributing factor is the increased online normalization, access and innovation that's happened in the wake of COVID 19. Now other things that we're seeing, I'm only going to give you doom and gloom for a little bit longer, so hang in there with me. But these are important realities that I think we in older generations need to face. So these are the, the main things that I'm looking at. The kids have lost in this pull into the online world and in screen saturation. They have a loss of unstructured play. They don't play outside as much. Just like I talked about, they instead of going outside to entertain themselves. It's, I mean, I don't know if you remember, I grew up in the generation where it was if you're, you better find something to do or I'll give you something to do. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Kids need to learn to entertain themselves. But they're used to now being passively entertained all the time. They also have instant gratification. They have all that access is always on. It is disrupting kids sleep norms. And I've talked about this quite a bit. That was two weeks we spent on healthy habits on sleep. Because screens before bed, having that exposure to blue light suppresses melatonin production. And what do we do? Well, let's just take melatonin. We're having all of these instant fixes instead of going to the core problem. But I see it, definitely, I see it in practice where kids have, they look at their devices all night long. It's disrupting their circadian rhythms. It's descript. It's even changing the way that they grow. And we don't have evening family rituals as much talking about the day or winding down together. We just have everybody on their screens for some downtime before you go to bed. We have, we have changing attention spans like I talked about, premature exposure to mature content. All of these things are really difficult. And in the light of that, it's easy to feel like the phone police. And we're constantly monitoring screen time. We're constantly enforcing limits, thinking how much screen time you have. Or we're using it as barter, right? We're using it as, okay, I'm taking away your screen time. I'll give you screen time. It's a punishment, it's a reward. And ultimately, I think most of us feel like we're just losing a battle against the pull of those digital devices. But what if this summer, as we're looking at healthy habits, what instead of cracking down and being strict, what if we invited our kids, our spouses, our families into something better? Instead of trying to limit screen time, what if we focused our energy and attention on providing a compelling alternative? What if we as parents, as grandparents, aunts, uncles, mentors, cousins, husbands, wives, we offered not just restrictions, we didn't offer shaming. Get off your phone. Get off your phone. Are you going to talk to me? But rhythms, not rules, but relationships. And the truth is, as followers of Christ, we believe our children are not just consumers of technology. They're not a product to be sold or sold to. They're not consumers. They are image bearers of God. That means they're creative and they're curious and they're wired for connection. And summer gives us an opportunity to shape their hearts, not just their habits, but we can shape their hearts through our habits.

With a little intention, we can help our families rediscover that unplugged life

So I challenge you to trade control for, Invitation. Anytime you feel like you're just trying to control their tech use, change the narrative, flip the paradigm and invite them to something different. Show them the joy of gathering around a table instead of a tablet. Chase fireflies instead of chasing algorithms. Hear the stories of the older people in their family instead of just scrolling strangers. I have said this multiple times, but one of our prior guests, she said something that has haunted me. That our kids, this generation of kids, kids is going to die with more memories of other people's lives than of their own because they spend so much time watching other people's stories that they don't even know. But with a little intention and a lot of grace for them and for us, we can help our families rediscover that simple soul filling magic of an unplugged life. Doesn't that sound wonderful? So today I wanted to spend some time talking about how to cultivate an old fashioned summer. And I, I encounter a lot of skeptics and people ask me how do you do this? Because my kid does not want to engage. They are not interested in the least in joining me in anything. But there are ways that you can do it. And I can say I've done and I do a lot of things wrong, but this is one thing that I've got because even the other day my husband and I were going to go on a walk. Oh that's just the Texas that came out. And me, we were kind of, we are going to go out on a walk and the next thing I know, one kid's behind us, the second kid's behind us, the third kid's behind us. Us. We're walking as a family. They want, if you invite that they real, you can learn a way to cultivate that. I believe it because I've lived it. You can fill your lives with fun. Kids are really craving fun. And so often in our interactions with them, it's all about coaching them, lecturing them, telling them what they need to do or doing the business of everyday life. You know, taking them to the store, get them shoes, get them fed. They need us to have fun with them. They need real connection across generations. Not with guilt or pressure, but with joy and hope and a reminder. Let me remind you today that what kids long for most is not their screen. They don't want their phone. More than anything in the world, even though it seems that way, they want us. So do you remember when summer meant your shoulders were sunburned, which they shouldn't be, as the nurse here does not endorse that, but, they were right when we were growing up. Or your knees were grass stained. And the. The jingle of the ice cream truck coming down the street, which my kids now think is really creepy. The ice cream truck is creepy, but that's okay. That's just generational differences. But did you. Were you one of those kids who rode your bike until the street lights came on? Or did you build forts out of sticks and bed sheets? Or did you drink from the hose without even thinking a second? The only thing you thought about is letting it run long enough so that the water's not too hot and doesn't burn your mouth. There were backyard campouts, Mason jar lanterns, homemade lemonade stands, climbing trees, skipping rocks, trading baseball cards, grandparents time, cousin time in the sprinkler. And boredom really wasn't a problem. It was a doorway to imagination. Now these really are rhythms of simpler days when time moved slower. Screens were rare. And those best memories were made face to face and hand in hand and heart to heart. We can have that now. So I want you to think about your summer and think about what could you do in your family this summer that's something that's not watching a screen. If you're just going to have a movie night, which those are not bad every now and then, what could you do that would be really out of pocket? That's a great way to kind of change the energy in your family. If you feel like you're stuck in a rut, if you feel like maybe one of your kids is having a struggle and you just feel like most days are filled with conflict and lectures, do something really unexpected. It changes the energy and it cultivates their curiosity. They're curious to see. Maybe I'm going to express skepticism. And don't expect your kids to say, oh, wow, that's such a great idea, mother, how can I help? They won't do that, but just embrace their reluctance. They're just trying to find their safe place. So maybe you have. Maybe you camp in the backyard yard. Maybe you host a, neighborhood camp out. Maybe you go camping. If that's something that you. That your kids think you would never do, maybe go and do that. I've told this story before, but one thing I did with my kids, we went. We were in Louisiana. We went out on an airboat and they were. We were looking for alligators, of course, and didn't find very many. Before we knew it, the guy that was our guide, he opened a cooler and pulled out an alligator. It was a baby alligator. Ish. Like, I don't know, maybe a couple feet long. I, I don't know how, I'm not an alligator expert, but my kids were like, no way is she gonna hold that. And I did. And it was just something out of my comfort zone. And they remembered it, they laughed. It gave them courage. They wanted to hold the alligator. And as I've said before, I may or may not as the nurse thinking about salmonella, have used hand sanitizer afterwards and that my kids will still troll me about the guy saying, lady, my gator ain't dirty. You don't need to use that. I still used it. I can't help it. I'm a nurse. Those old habits die hard.

You can have intergenerational cooking projects using technology

Maybe you can have, here's just some ideas for you. Maybe you can have an intergenerational cooking project. Maybe you can have host your own kind of cooking show. Maybe you can have elders teach kids family recipes. Maybe you can bake something from scratch. Maybe, you can have a recipe competition where you have people come over and vote. Maybe you have a family recipe book or you have a kids versus grown up cook off. Maybe you pull out some retro games. Maybe you teach them how to play marbles, jacks, hopscotch, kick the can charades or how to build a blanket fort. And you have the grandparents share their favorite childhood games. Maybe you have story circles you set aside some time at night for older generations to share stories. Some stories I know my kids grandparents have shared some stories they've never heard before. It has been very entertaining. Maybe you even have a family story podcast that you, that you start on your own. It can be really simple, something that you just record. These are ways to use technology for good. You could have a time travel day and live for a day in a different decade and show kids what it was like. Maybe you have a pen pal or write postcards or you grow something together. That's not happening in my house, just FYI because my mother in law, bless her, she has the greenest thumb I know and she tells me I have a black thumb. it's so true. I, I cannot grow things, but my kids like to see me try. The key is to slow down, invite curiosity and lean into that shared experience. Let kids see that fun does not need a charger. Okay, can we get an amen for that? That family stories and laughter and traditions are treasures that never go out of style. So when we come back, I'm going to talk some more and give you some practical tips about how to have some tech free zones in your home. And we'll talk about how Jesus modeled this for us. I know it kind of made me curious. I'll share with you what I learned when we come back.

>> Podcast AFA Spots: The month of June has been hijacked by the anti Christian culture to show their pride in something God calls an abomination. When you support afr, you help us continue to stand for godly values and provide the resources for you to stay in the know about the enemy's tactics. To say thank you for your gift, this month, we'll give you the booklet inside the LGBTQ push of the 1990s to help strengthen your convictions. Just go to afr.net/offers afr.net/offers. thank you, Jesus.

>> Thank You by Highlands Worship: Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord. Every hour, every moment, I will sing. Thank you, Lord.

Ask Doctor Nurse Mama Friday focuses on helping young people have a healthy family

Welcome back, friends. That is thank you by Highlands Worship. And on this Ask Doctor Nurse Mama Friday. I am so thankful for you. I am so thankful for our listeners. I've had some emails, some messages, some letters this week that are just, just so encouraging. I can't tell you how it much it warms my heart and how much it encourages me to know that there are people out there who are supporting American Family Radio who are listening every single day who say that we feel like friends to you and it really is a family. And I am so appreciative of your heart to minister to your family. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to sit alongside you in these afternoons and be able to share my heart with you and the message that God has given me. I really want to encourage, equip and empower you to have a healthy family. And today we're talking about doing that through our healthy habit of having tech free zones. Now, one of the most common questions I do is how can we do this and can we not turn back time? And we can't turn back time because, listen, the proverbial train has left the station. Technology is not going backwards. It is not going to reverse itself. Now we do see some healthy trends. We see some of the younger generation rejecting a little bit of the publicness of media and the invasion and intrusion of media in their lives. One of the things I've seen recently that's trending is Gen Z using something really novel called a digital camera. And it's so entertaining to see them explain this to older generations. Like, did you know there's a device that's just a camera? Like, it's not your phone, but they use that when they want to go on a vacation or, Take pictures of something where they don't want the distraction of their phone. So we see some of those things where generations are self correcting in a way. But many of you may have heard of a book called the Anxious Genera, the Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. It's a runaway bestseller and I get questions about that all the time. What do I think about that? And I've been pretty honest in saying that my concern is that his recommendation largely revolve around removing phones, delaying access to phones, not allowing access to social media. Those things are not bad in and of themselves. But using it as a catch all is essentially trying to turn back time. It's trying to deny a reality that is here. And I think that may work for a season, but it is not a sustainable strategy. And another thing that I have a concern about is as a professed atheist, the premise of Haidt's work is that parents and other caring adults, basically we have the power to restore childhoods of yesteryear, solve the mental health epidemic. And for me as a Christian, I, I really believe that I need the power of a living God. And I want to give my kids a greater hope that doesn't disappoint. A hope that's not just for living well in this world, but living well for eternity. And that always relies on relying on God to change us, to transform us, to equip us, to protect us. I am not strong enough, wise enough, powerful enough to do all of those things on my own. I need God's help. And when we depend on ourselves for our own solution, for our own rescue, I think that makes people afraid. And we have a fear saturated culture because I'm afraid. What if I'm never enough? What if I'm not enough? What if I'm not strong enough? Why is it enough, smart enough? Well, here's the spoiler, we're not. But when we depend on God, we can rest in that. And we can know that through our weaknesses he is made strong. And in this fear saturated culture, kids need adults who are willing to engage in those faith informed, relationship building skills. And if you're as concerned for this generation and the generations behind them as I am, I urge you to pray for them consistently and earnestly pray that God would rise up leaders in that generation. The second thing you can do is seek to be a disciple of Christ yourself model, prioritizing, seeking spiritual disciplines. Because though our kids are going to do what we do more than they do what we say, and then we can lead with courage and empathy, we speak Truth, but with compassion for the realities of the challenges of living in today's world. We really don't know what that's like from a lived experience and we have to have some compassion. And what I'm challenging you to do specifically today is create tech free zones, have some tech free traditions as a compelling alternative to in this world where we're really living with saturated screens so that we're not anti technology. Reframe it and think of yourself as being pro connection. When people think you hate technology, say no, I love connection. Technology can provide connection. But I like connection more than I like technology. We have to acknowledge that reality screens are everywhere. Their school, their work, their social life and news flash. They're even in most churches. I mean we cannot get away from a screen for the life of us. And parents often feel overwhelmed or guilty, but we can't add shame to that to our kid, to the parents feeling that we got to give hope. We're not battling devices, we're not fighting phones. We're inviting hearts to reawaken to God's presence. It's not about restriction, it's about restoration. Tech free time is not a punishment. It's a pathway back to what matters most. Now Jesus did this. He modeled presence. And when he was healing people, when he had those interactions, he did not multitask. And that's a lie that we've bought in this generation. We can multitask. I can watch my phone, I can check my notifications while I work, I can have a show going. Multitasking really doesn't work. And Jesus never rushed through an encounter. He didn't multitask healing. He didn't offer half hearted attention. He consistently gave people his whole presence. And again and again in the gospels we see Jesus pausing and looking and connecting with those who are often overlooked by the world. And our kids today, they feel overlooked, they feel forgotten, they feel less than in an age of perfection of social media. In Mark 10:21, we read that Jesus looked at him and loved him. That was a moment of sacred stillness between Jesus and the young rich ruler. He looked at him and he loved him. That's what we need to be doing with our families. In Luke 8:48, Jesus stops right in the middle of a frantic crowd. He turns to a woman who had touched his garment. He addresses her, not with annoyance. Hey. And he was on his way, by the way, at that moment to heal Jairus daughter, a respected community leader. He was on his way. He stopped. He was not annoyed. He looked at Her. He said, daughter, your faith has healed. You go in peace, even in moments of urgency. And this is somewhere where I fail every way and every day. My kids can tell you I am working on this.

In today's modern screen saturated lives, we have traded presence for productivity

I am asking God to help me. But in Mark 5, he's on his way to heal a dying child. He does not bypass the one in front of him. We cannot bypass our family who's in front of us because of the worry that we have down the road. Code he looked people in their eyes. He called people by their name. He restored dignity with physical healing. And his ministry taught us that healing begins with being fully seen. Real presence is a kind of miracle, really. In today's day and age and in our modern screen saturated lives, we have unintentionally traded this sacred gift of presence for what we think is productivity, what we think is success. You might have heard me me talk about the term phubbing. P H U B B I N G Phone snubbing. Snubbing someone in favor of a phone. That's just a common part of family life now. We check our notifications during dinner. We scroll while our kids talk. We split our attention in ways that silently say something else. Whatever's on this phone, whatever is on this screen, it matters more than you do. And it's not intentional, but it deeply impacts our family's sense of worth, their sense of security. And eye contact, which is a natural part of daily interaction that's replaced by staring at a little blue box. But we know that neuroscience confirms what scripture shows us. We know that eye contact matters. 20 seconds of eye contact releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone. It lowers cortisol and stress. It increases connection and trust. When we look our loved ones in the eyes, we're not just seeing them. We are affirming them. Them. And when we live in a culture of chronic distraction, the truth is that choosing to give someone our undivided attention is countercultural. And as I've just shared with you, it's Christlike. And as parents, as caregivers, as faith leaders, we have an incredible opportunity to model what Jesus did. To stop, to look, to love the one in front of us with our whole presence. That kind of attention is healing in a broken relationship. It is exactly what our families are longing for. For us to look, not distracted, to look with a look of love. And that invitation matters because you are giving them an offer for a real relationship versus something that's counterfeit. Social media curates attention, not real belonging. Your presence is the only thing that cannot be replaced by a social media algorithm. Our kids are not influenced by just what we say about screens, but what we are doing with our own screen. So when we put down our phone, we're not just unplugging from technology, we're choosing to connect with them. And when we are trying to form souls inside of our homes, we need some silence because that constant noise crowds out God voice. When we are constantly distracting ourselves, we constantly have some media going. We can't hear God talking to us and God often speaks to us in a whisper and a still small voice. And we need to leave some space for that in a tech free zone. Now why is it so hard? That's a question I get. Why is this so hard? Well, it's cultural. Digital connection is the norm. Going against it feels awkward, it feels isolating. I can't tell you how many moms in particular have come up to me and said, I have told my kids they can't have a phone, they can't have social media and I'm being ostracized by my friend. Group friend, I see you and I cheer you on. Now, rules without relationship leads to rebellion. You've probably heard that phrase before, but in the context of a healthy relationship, go for it. Don't be afraid to be that mom. Don't be afraid to be countercultural. Normalize the discomfort of doing things differently. Saying, hey, we're building healthy habits, we're countercultural. That's just how we roll. Normalize it. It's also hard because it's convenient. Screens keep kids occupied. And tech free moments require more of us. It requires more of our attention, our effort. They're more likely to make a mess if I'm just being honest. But so does discipleship. It requires more effort. Convenience is not the compass of a Christ centered home. It is just not. And if we're doing things just because they're convenient, that's not a good enough. That's not a good enough motivation. It's also hard because it's emotional. Devices are numbing, they're soothing, they're even part of how we connect. So be gentle with yourself and your family. Give yourself grace and space to be human. It's not a tear down, it's a rebuild. So instead of tearing someone down for being on their phone too much, help them rebuild those habits. Offer them a compelling alternative. So if you're going to do this with your family, if you think all right, we have way left the station, we are way off course, then you it's never too late to Start again. So start with the why. Just sit down with your family and cast a shared vision. What do we want more of in our home? And then designate those times, those tech free times. Not just empty gaps. But what are we going to do instead? Maybe that's family meal hour. Everyone puts their phone in a basket. and maybe that's a Sabbath moment where that's a tech free zone where we don't have our phones in church, we don't have our phones at the table. Maybe that's a bedtime blessing. You don't just want to power off. Power in, power into God, power into connecting with each other, power into those moments of connection. And you want to build rhythms, not rules. So predictability helps. Just saying. Hey, this summer we're going to try out something.

Friday nights are going to be a tech free time. Let kids help create the plan because ownership increases. Don't remove screens, replace them

Friday nights are going to be a tech free time. We're going to have a screen free game night. You might have groans, you might have protests, and you might have requests. Can we do it again next Friday? You never know. Let kids help create the plan because ownership increases. Buy in, they're going to be more likely to do it. And don't just remove stuff, you got to replace it. Don't remove screens, replace them. Because that tech free time, it's got to feel like a gain. It can't feel like a loss, it can't feel like a punishment. So do a family challenge, have an outdoor play, do something different. And we've got to model that message. Adults go first. If you are checking your phone at the table, your kids are going to check your phone at the table too. So preach presence with your habits, not just your words, words. And you are not alone in this. Romans 12, 2 says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And we can look to Galatians for the fruits of the spirit, those flourish and stillness and presence and discipline and parents, you are absolutely irreplaceable because influencers may be entertaining your kids, but only you. You are going to really shape their soul. You have the incredible privilege of doing that. So I invite you to pray over this. If you're feeling convicted, just invite the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom, to give you discernment, to help you guard your home's atmosphere and pray that God would help you to see where you need some tech free zones that make may be talking about having digital discernment, asking reflective questions. How do you feel after you sat and scrolled for three hours? You don't feel very good. But make those tech free moments feel special. Maybe it's a s' mores night. Maybe it's a photo scrapbook. Listen. Choosing presence is choosing to believe that real life is better than online life, than virtual life. Tech free times aren't about escaping the world world. It's about forming families who live in it with clarity and courage and Christ at the center. You're not just managing screen time. You're cultivating a family legacy. And as you do, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you. Have a great weekend. I'll see you back here on Monday.

>> Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.