Transcript

Doctor, Nurse, Mama prescribing Hope for healthy families on American Family Radio

Hello and welcome to the Doctor, Nurse, Mama show prescribing Hope for healthy families. Here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck. Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite day of the week, my favorite time of the day. Happy fry. Yay. Everybody.

Nurse Mama Friday explores 52 habits that can transform your family

I'm so excited to be here with you Another ask Dr. Nurse Mama Friday where we are exploring 52 habits for healthy families. If you've been following along since January, wonderful. Great. I would love to hear how it's going. If you're thinking what is going on, go back and listen to the Doctor, Nurse, Mama coaching minutes or any Friday show where we take a deep dive into the healthy habits that can really transform your family. It's not in any life hack, any magic moment. It's in those everyday disciplines, rhythms and habits that you have that are going to transform your family over time to be healthy, not necessarily perfect. There is no perfect family, mine included, and no place do you see the imperfections of families more than maybe on family vacation? And we all have jokes about it, we all love it, we, dread it. You know, there are moments where the car breaks down, where you forget the luggage, like all of the stressors that come along with traveling. But there are some joys as well. But have you ever returned from a vacation feeling like you just need another vacation to recuperate from the vacation you just took? Well, today that's what we're going to dive into and talk about.

Only 28% of American families say they returned from vacation feeling deeply rested

How do we truly unplug when we're on vacation? Not just from our inbox, but from the pressure to perform. How can family time away really become sacred and soul filling and simpler than you think. Now when we look at the evolution of vacation, it's gone really from leisure to live stream. Vacations used to be a luxury. They were often once a year events that focused on rest, reconnection, maybe exploring somewhere new. And now we see vacations through the lens of selfies, through social media stories. And when we look back in my era, in 1975, the average American family took one trip every two years. Now some families vacation multiple times a year. But here's the thing. Quality hasn't kept up with quantity. And we need to think about the quality of our vacation time. Here's some current vacation statistics I found that really gave me a little bit of a gut check here. Did you know that it's estimated that 55% of Americans do not use all of their paid time off their pto? It just sits in a bank like a badge that we accrue because we're so proud that we have so much time accrued. Now, Gen Z is pushing back on this trend and getting a lot of mockery for it, but I think they're onto something here. We are given time off for a reason, but it is distinctly American to not take that time off. 68% of people check their email daily, even when they're away from work, even when they're on PTO. 80% of parents say they feel pressure to post vacation content online. Like, you can't just take a vacation. You have to take time to think about how you present that vacation to the rest of the world. And here is a really sad statistic that I found this honestly made my heart really heavy. Only 28% of families say they returned from vacation feeling deeply rested and reconnected. And we really have seen this shift of vacation from a time of renewal to a time of curation. And that is a lousy trade. We are trading connection for content Instead of focusing on connecting with our families. We're thinking, what content can we post about our families to show that we are connected, when in fact, you know how that family vacation photo goes. You know, it's like herding cats get together, stop touching your sister, stop beating your brothers. Can you just smile? Can you not make a goofy face? Can you turn around? And then all of a sudden that perfect picture goes online and hashtag family vacay. We all know it, we are all guilty of it. And when we look at these curated feed versus a curated connection, we're thinking much more about how we're presenting trip rather than how we are investing in that connection. We have families who might plan trips around photo ops and think about what is that perfect photo that we can get in this moment instead of what is the connection that I can seek now? It's not wrong to document your, your, your vacation. It's not wrong to share it. But it is wrong when that documentation becomes the destination, when that is the point of the vacation. And you have to ask yourself, are you trying to prove something or are you trying to experience someone that's really important? Kids do not recall the resort pool size. In their mind, everything is bigger, right? You can go to someplace that is really small, maybe not even that nice. And in this kid's mind, it is going to be the grandest, most glorious thing that ever was. And it's kind of funny sometimes to go back and revisit those places with your adult eyes and think how Did I think this place was so big and grand? But what they do remember is who carried them when they retired, who got down on their hands and knees to build sandcastles, who laughed the loudest or screamed the loudest on the roller coaster. Listen. Memories outlast money. And research shows that emotional connection really trumps location when it comes to child memory making. This is so important. And when we are living our busy lives like we are, and we're wearing busy as a badge of honor, we are in a world that is constantly connected. We are constantly connected to our whole entire social circle through text message, through phone, through digital, media, through social media apps, through apps that tell us about how to order something or whatever it is. We're constantly getting notification. It is made work, portable. Now that can be an advantage. But on the flip side of that, sometimes it makes work inescapable. Like maybe you want to get away, but you can't. 75% of remote workers check in during vacation. And many kids say their parents really never stop working, even while they're away. And between sports and school and screens and side hustles and all of the things that we're trying to do to pour into our families with good intentions. Families are rarely still together. Did you know the average parent spends just 34 minutes of uninterrupted time with their child every day? Just 34 minutes. Now, if you want some conviction, look at your screen time and see how much time you spent playing a game or on social media. Again, those are not bad. But when we're spending more time on those things than. And the connection with our spouses, with our families, with our children, that's where we have a problem. We have this constant motion, this constant connectivity, and it creates shallow relationships and we're emotionally burned out. And family vacations might be the only time where you're really able to eat multiple meals together. You're able to talk uninterrupted. Maybe you're able to simply be in each other's presence. Here's my little tip here, my pearl for practice. I discovered that most national parks do not have good cell service. It is a great way to go because you drive into that park and all of your kids phones all of a sudden go out and all of a sudden they're looking out the window and they're seeing nature and they're seeing animals. And you didn't even have to be the phone police. It's just, oh, that's the way that it is. It's a way to have that connection without making it conflict, but that you can take that tip for what it's worth. It's worked really well for me. But it's so important for us also to work in a faith based pers and to know that we have a gift of rest that is given to us by God. Now, rest is not just a reward for working hard. We think of vacation as, oh, that's my reward for working hard. What if we reframed it to look at vacation as not a reward, but a rhythm of grace. God modeled Sabbath as a practice of, delight. And Jesus often withdrew by himself alone with friends for renewal. Rest is not idleness. Rest is not laziness. Rest is the intentional restoration of joy, of connection, of, presence, of getting perspective. Your vacation should be a retreat, not a rehearsal, not a performance. That's really important when we think about that.

Let me share with you some of the health benefits of family vacations

Let me share with you some of the health benefits of family vacations. Okay. For mental health, it reduces stress because when we spend time away from those daily pressures, it refreshes our mind and it literally lowers our cortisol levels. I know there are places I like to go that I, as soon as I get there, I feel my blood pressure going down. It improves our mood because we're sharing things that are fun together. That releases endorphins and that actually helps to imprint positive memories. That's really amazing. It also helps us to have a break from our screens, a break from our routines that resets our attention spans and it can even help us when we're feeling burned out. It gives us a surge of creativity and it reduces our anxiety because when we change environments, when we unplug, we decrease that overstimulation and mental fatigue. And moms in particular, I feel like, suffer from overstimulation because we have got things going all the time. When you think about the chaos of our homes with, yes, the washer and dryer are going, yes, the stove might be going, but also screens are going. Your kids, all individual screens are going. And you're thinking about, who do I need to take where, when, and what do they need to get there? It is really, really exhausting. But vacations also improve our emotional health. It creates stronger family bonds when we spend quality time together, not just quantity time. Doesn't matter, just to check the BO and say that you did it. You've got to have those quality connections. That fosters family connection and belonging. It encourages real conversations, which is wonderful. And emotional resilience because navigating those new experiences together, you gotta trust each Other you gotta cope when you trusted someone to know how to get there, know how to read the map, and they didn't. And how do we cope with this? All of those conflicts or opportunities to navigate that, together in a healthy way. It also. Vacations can improve your physical health. It often involves walking or hiking or swimming or exploring. You might sleep better because you have a relaxed schedule and you have less screen time. You're not as burned out because physical rest and fun actually improve your immune function. So you can be healthier and it gives you a mind, body balance. But one of the most powerful benefits that we can harness in vacation is spiritual health.

Unplugging on vacation allows families to be fully present in God's creation

Have you thought about being intentional when you're going on vacation to reflect on quiet moments away? Are you creating space in your schedule to pray, to be intentionally grateful, to read God's word, to have a shared faith experience? I know that we have a habit of going to church together wherever we're on vacation. And it's been one of the greatest things that our family has done to teach them that the church is bigger than the little Sea Church. It's the big C church. They can find believers all over the world and worship in different ways. We've worshiped in a very old colonial church, one of the first churches that was in the, and in the United States of America. We've worshiped in a tiny little mountain church. We've worshiped on a college campus. We have worshiped on an island together. It is really amazing. And it's, it's a rest, it's a renewal. And it preserves that spiritual rhythm and we can have that unplugging, allows families to be fully present in God's creation. I love that. That is one of my favorite things. And it models stewardship because when we have time together to intentionally steward and curate and encourage appreciation for the gifts that God's given us, it teaches us intentional living. And we can have accountability through family support to unplug. So when I, when we come back from this break, I'll talk about some ways that you can do that, but encourage each other, remind and support each other to put your devices away and be present. My kids say it this way, hang up and hang out. And I'm more guilty of it than they are, for sure. And they'll tell me, mom, hang up, hang out. And I give them the invitation to do that because there is something to be said for positive peer pressure. Kids and adults alike, they feel motivated when everyone is committing to unplugging together. And instead of just One person policing the screens. Unplugging, is just a joyful rhythm that you have, and we can show our kids by example. Rest and connection are priorities.

Jessica Peck: Unplugging on family vacations is a healthy habit

Here's some questions, some conversation starters that you can have to encourage unplugging and connection. Maybe. What's one favorite moment you had today that you want to remember forever? How did it feel to put your phone down during dinner? What's something new you noticed or learned about the someone in our family this trip? When did you feel most relaxed or peaceful? What's one thing you're grateful for on this vacation? How can we help each other stay unplugged tomorrow? What's fun? One fun activity you want to try that doesn't involve screens? How do you think this vacation is different from the ones that we've had when screens were in the mix? And if you could create a family unplugging rule for future vacations, what would it be? And what's a fun way we can remember this trip that doesn't involve social media? Maybe that's a journal or a drawing or a family story or a video. When we come back, I'll give you some more practical tips on unplugging on vacation and even vacations on a budget. We'll see you on the other side of this break. Because of listeners like you. PreBorn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies. Your $28 to sponsor one ultrasound doubled a baby's chance at life. Your tax- deductible gift saves lives. Please join us in this life saving mission. To donate, go to preborn.com/AFR. Will you take a moment and celebrate life with me? Last year, PreBorn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies from abortion. Hi, this is Jessica Peck, host of the Dr. Nursemama show and I want to thank you for your partnership. Think about what you did. 67,000 babies are taking their first breath now because of you. Your $28 sponsored one ultrasound that was given to a woman as she was deciding about the future of her child. Once she saw her precious baby for the first time and heard their sweet heartbeat, her baby's chance at life doubled. The preborn's mission is not only to rescue babies lives but also to lead women to Christ. Last year PreBorn network clinic saw 8,900 women receive salvation. Your help is crucial to continue their life saving work. Your caring tax- deductible donation saves lives. So please be generous. To donate, go to preborn.com/AFR, that's preborn.com/AFR or dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby that's pound 250 baby. Your love can save a life. Preborn's whole mission is to rescue babies from abortion and lead their families to Christ. Last year Preborn's network of clinics saw 8,900 mothers come to Christ. Please join us in this life saving mission. To donate go to preborn.com/AFR. Speak To The Mountains by Chris McClarney so. I won't be shaken I won't be moved My God is faithful his promise is true so I speak to the mountain oh it's time to. Move. 'Cause my God is bigger.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That song is Speak to the mountains by Chris McClarney and today we're talking about the mountains or maybe the beach or maybe the desert or maybe the forest. The woods maybe over the woods and through the woods to grandmother's house we go. We are talking about family vacation today on this Ask Doctor Nurse, Mama Friday. That is this week's healthy habit. Not just taking family vacations, but really unplugging. When you're on family vacations, it is so easy to be tethered to technology. We're tethered to work. We have a million things going on in our minds when we went on vacation, in decades past, in the 70s when you left, you left and you told everybody when you got back. Maybe you have memories of sitting through a really boring slideshow, right? Does anybody remember those slide projectors where you would click, click, click, click and then you would watch all the slides go by and people would tell you about their family vacations? Gone are those days, my friend. Now we have vacations that are curated for social media. And we've often, even if it's not work, we feel pressured to be connected, to document every moment of our vacations. And we spend so more time reliving what we should have been actually living.

Set expectations with your family about unplugging on vacation

So let's talk about some practical tips for unplugging as we continue to unpack this this concept of unplugging on vacation. First of all, set some expectations. Sit your family down, whoever is going, and set some expectations with them what this will look like, what the tech time will be, what the non tech time will be, how you are going to be in front of them. Tell your work, tell your friends, tell your social media if and when you'll be unavailable and then stick to it. Set those expectations together as a family. If you don't talk about it before, it can create cost conflict. Because perception and reality. The difference between perception and reality is where your frustration lies. So if you perceive, hey, we're going on vacation, that means you're not going to scroll on your phone and you're thinking, hey, I'm on vacation so I can scroll on my phone mindlessly all I want. There's this perception that, hey, you're on your phone too much. What do you mean I'm on my phone too much? I'm on vacation. Set those expectations before you go. Set them with work, set them with friends, set them with your social media. Tell your kids, kids, set the boundaries for this is when I'll be plugged in and this is when I'll be unplugged. You might even think about. I know now this is a really radical suggestion, so proceed with caution, but consider it. Maybe you delete your work app temporarily. Maybe you literally remove your email from your phone, remove slack, remove teams, whatever it is that you're using and just don't even have it there so that it's not even a temptation. Maybe that's, that's on your laptop that you have for a specific time. But think of a way that you can unplug that way. Set screen free hours. Maybe that's meal times, maybe that's morning, maybe that's evenings. What is the sacred time where you're going to have to connect? And it's not just about being the phone police, it's about providing a compelling alternative. Maybe this is another radical idea, but maybe you bring a real camera. Like, like just ditch the phone and you just bring a camera. Maybe you schedule downtime. Not every moment has to be filled. You just have time just to rest and to be. And maybe you create tech time. Set those times in the place that this is going to be our tech check in. Everybody can, instead of saying you can't be on your phone this time, say you can reframe it to say you can be on your phone at this time. Involve the kids. Let them help plan these unplugged activities if they have a say in it. Oh, believe you me, kids are designed and wired to be very justice oriented and they will tell you when it's not fair. You said we were going to be off our phones and you're checking your work email. They will hold you accountable. And here's the thing too. Vacation doesn't have to break the bank. There are plenty of creative family vacations that can be taken on a budget, that never need to be posted, that are intentional for connection, not curation. So think about, maybe even just do something as simple as camping in your backyard. Now, if you have little kids, they'll absolutely love this. If you have teens, they will roll their eyes, they will say, this is dumb. I don't want to do this. And then they will do it, and they will have fun and they will tell you later about how they had a special interaction. But maybe it's a fire pit, it's flashlight stories, just no screens, just something different. Teens are looking for novelty. They're just looking for adventure. They're looking for that connection. Maybe there's a road trip challenge. I remember one year when I had a conference in Indianapolis. I dragged all my kids along and they were looking for something to do. And no offense at all to the very good people in Indianapolis, but my kids were thinking, what are we going to do there? Well, they found a donut trail. And so it was not the healthiest day by far, but it was emotionally healthy. As they went on this trail to look and to see all of the different donuts that were available, it was so fun. They still have the T shirt and still laugh about that. Couldn't eat donuts actually, for quite a while. So that was an unexpected benefit. So maybe there's a road trip challenge you can take. Maybe there's a state park staycation where there is some place with reasonable housing prices for camping. Maybe someone can let you borrow that material or you can have a volunteer vacation, stay somewhere together. Sometimes when you volunteer, there are. There is housing that's provided for you. There may be even meals that are provided for you in exchange for that volunteer effort. That can be really rewarding. Maybe it's to go visit family, visit places from your family story or talk about legacy. And so I encourage you. You might think, oh, well, if we can't take a big, fancy, expensive vacation, then we just won't do anything. A staycation can be super duper fun if you're intentional about it. So resist the urge to just throw out the baby with the bathwater and throw out the idea of vacation.

Research shows traveling with children boosts cognitive, emotional and social development

Now, another barrier for families is traveling with children. And that can be challenging because society often treats traveling with kids as exhausting, as annoying. I mean, you look around for the people with a baby on the plane and you think, I don't want to sit there. I'm the opposite. I'm that person that's like, let me sit by you. And then I sit down and I tell them, hey, I'm here to support you. It's not going to bother me a bit. And, that's just the advantage I have and being a pediatric nurse and seeing a lot of toddler tantrums in my lifetimes. But research shows that children travel with their family actually have higher levels of academic success and family closeness. Travel teaches a lot of things like resilience and adaptability and curiosity. And when we think about what Jesus said, let the little children come to me. He didn't say, only when they're quiet on airplanes or only when they're well behaved. Invite your children to be part of that. And for me, as a mom who has experienced the joys and mayhem of traveling with kids, I promise you this. Family trips are always an adventure. And whether you're navigating that airport security with a stroller that won't fold, or you're breaking up backseat arguments about who gets the last snack, traveling with little ones I know, can feel like an Olympic sport. But really, truly investing in that memory making is worth the chaos. It's an incredible opportunity to nurture your child's development. And you might be in a nearby town, you might be across the globe. Family travel is sparks cognitive, emotional and social development, and it creates lasting memories. When kids experience new environment, it stimulates their brain in the best way. It encourages creativity. It builds problem solving. It teaches them to be adaptable. And travel puts kids in situations where they meet different people, and they help develop empathy and adaptability and all of those social skills like please and thank you that you're working on at home. You have to have teamwork and choosing the route to go and planning what you're going to do. Or maybe you're ordering a meal at a restaurant you've never been to. It's a great time to teach your kids practical skills like budgeting and navigating and making reservations and planning meals. It's not always smooth sailing, but kids do develop emotional resilience by learning to solve and manage those unexpected challenges. And whether it's a lost teddy bear or a missed exit, really these things can teach kids, and us flexibility and problem solving and patience and confidence. And one of the best benefits of unplugging on vacation is just creating those memories that will last a lifetime. And that is, a, a beautiful thing to do. Traveling with kids is messy and unpredictable and sometimes exhausting, but it's also wonderful. It opens their minds and it strengthens their family bond. And ultimately, that's what you want. You want those stories that you're going to be telling for the rest of your life.

Give teens a travel date, a budget and some guidance on planning

So let me give you some tips specifically for kids that has, that has helped me when we're traveling to get them engaged. Because sometimes it's really difficult to get our kids, kids to want to unplug. They don't want to unplug from their social circles. They don't want to miss out. They will have FOMO while they're gone. That's fear of missing out. And they think, I don't want to do a family vacation because I don't want to miss these things. Here's some tips that might help you. First, invite them to help you plan. That can help them feel competent and confident finding options that are family friendly for every destination, every budget, every age group. So I gave my teens a travel date, a budget, and told them, hey, come up with a proposal. Here's the dates that we're going to go, here's how much money we're going to spend. And we ended up with a really creative vacation where we had a really creative road trip up the east coast. It was really amazing and I sat back and relaxed. Honestly, in their prep work, you can also give them opportunities to be independent. It is so essential, especially for teens, to develop those navigational life skills as they're preparing for college or the workforce. When they feel like they can independently navigate new situations, that is a skill set that will translate easily to other situations. So give them some safe parameters and let them fly. So here's how this looks in practice. Tell them, sit in the front seat of the road trip, be the navigator. If you're at the airport, separate and tell them, okay, you go through security by yourself and meet me at the gate when you need directions or assistant. Ask them to handle that direct interaction and the requests with the service people. Give them small amounts of cash. Put them in charge of tipping the wait staff, cleaning personnel, your guide, or your luggage attendant. Tell them to figure out, what time do we need to leave to be at this activity. You figure that out. Those are all things that you can be there with safeguard rails, but will help them to feel more investing, invested and included. Another thing you can do is encourage them to try something new. It's really gratifying to see them do something they thought they could never do and, or get on a roller coaster that they thought they could never ride or even talk to somebody and ask for directions, something that makes them scared or hold them back. When we create spaces and opportunities for teens to have a new experience, it gives them confidence that they can navigate other unfamiliar situations where maybe they're a little afraid and if they're not overly eager, just drop it. Like, don't make this a power struggle or a guilt trip. Let them stay behind sometimes, if it's appropriate, let them miss out. Just provide the opportunity and set the example by going first. So in practice, here's what this looks like. So maybe, I'm just saying maybe when you're in Louisiana and someone offers you the chance to hold a baby alligator, you just do it. Okay, that was specifically me. I did not want to hold the baby alligator. And, and maybe, maybe I might have used a lot of hand sanitizer after I did. And maybe the guy that was our guide on the boat said, lady, my gator ain't dirty. And maybe that has lived in infamy for a long time. It has been the rally cry for us to engage in adventure and to have something new. But that was specifically me. Maybe, maybe that's not you, but you can schedule a new experience together. You can hike, you can camp, you can paint, you can cook, you can can bike, you can zipline, you can ride a roller coaster. Lead the way by surprising your kids and doing something that they would not expect you to do. That's a great way to shift the energy on a family vacation and to create memories that are forever. And you can take away their tech. That is bold. But I dare you, I dare you to do it. It is good for all of us to disconnect, and we have to lead by example. So you might designate a tech free vacay day where everyone, maybe that's parents too, says, okay, we're all going to disconnect from our phone or disadvice our advices. Listen, we need to know, we all need to know that the world is not going to stop if we go offline for a day. It's just not. They need to be free from the pressure of social media, snapstreaks and insta ready appearances. They need this so badly in their lives and we need to be brave enough to give it to them. And so in practice, that means maybe host a movie night, play a board game, plan a water fun day. Just plan ahead. And that avoids the pressure of taking the devices water. Fun can be really fun because that's really hard to take your phone. So doing something in the water can be fun. But most importantly, schedule downtime. Teens really need space to relax and kids do. And we do too, as adults, as married couples, as traveling adults, whatever your age or stage of life, we need that d that downtime. We do not need every moment to be scheduled so sets aside specific time for there to be on their phone guilt free to connect with their friends and say, here's your tech. Check in time. You can check in on your social media and you can stay there. And that's a way to do it.

We'll talk about how to unplug as a family when on vacation

Now, when we come back, we're coming up on our last break. I'm going to talk to you about how to truly unplug as a family when you're on vacation. Unplugging means mind, body and soul. So we'll talk about unplugging mentally unplugging, emotionally disconnecting from that comparison and performance. Unplugging physically, just physically stepping out of the loop and unplugging as a family. This is so important for us to have as a rhythm of rest. So I encourage you, whatever you're planning to do this summer, if it's an afternoon, if it's a day, if it's a week, I encourage you to find a time to get with your family to really unplug body, mind and soul. This is a spiritual rhythm. It is a healthy habit that we all need and all of us vacation differently and that's okay. Be unique to your family. What does your family do? Don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses. Don't worry about the other other families who are going on different vacations and feel that thread of comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. My friends and I want you to have joy on your family vacation. We'll talk more about that when we come back. Unplugging on vacation. Body, minded, soul. I'll see you on the other side of this break. the month of June has been hijacked by the anti Christian culture to show their pride in something God calls an abomination. When you support afr, you help us continue to stand for godly values and provide the resources for you to stay in the know about the enemy's tactics. To say thank you for your gift. This month we'll give you the booklet inside the LGBTQ push of the 1990s. To help strengthen your convictions, just go to afr.net/offers afr.net/offers.

>> Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns: And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for you are who you are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried you hold in your hand you never left my side though my heart is torn I will praise you in this storm.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is praise you in this storm by casting crowns and hey, it is asking Dr. Nursing Mama Friday and we're talking about this week's healthy habit Unplugging on your family vacation. I hope that you are going to have a vacation this year, and I hope that you have great time with your family. And sometimes vacation can be really stressful. When we live in a world of a curated social media feed, we all feel that pressure. We all know as adults, if you're on a social media platform, as summer starts to roll in, you start scrolling through and you start seeing all of the those perfect photos. And you know, in your mind, this is another family's highlight reel. I didn't see the giant fight that they had before they took this picture. I didn't see the fact that the teens were not with the family at all during the vacation, except during this picture. But we just think, oh, why can't my family be like that? Why can't I have, the finances to do that? Why won't my spouse say that we can go on a trip like that? Why don't my kids want to go with me? Why do my kids have, to be. I mean, we just, just start this litany of doom scrolling through everybody's vacation. And I just encourage you this summer to stop it, just to stop the scroll. And instead of investing your emotions and your discontent in your social media feed of what everybody else is doing, think about what has God given you, what family has he given you, what resources has he given you? What can you do with your family that is fun, that is within your budget, but that is about intentionally scheduling time to connect with each other in a world that is living 24 7. It's so hard to make our minds stop running about all the things that are going on back home because we're constantly reminded of those, especially through social media, through text messages. We do not unplug. and so I'm encouraging you to rethink a family vacation this summer or whenever it will be. Because vacation is a time to reset, but it's just so hard to unwind when all of those pressures from home follow us.

How can we emotionally disconnect from pressures at home and emotionally reconnect with our family

And so let's talk about how we can emotionally disconnect from the pressures at home and emotionally reconnect with our family. Because if you've ever packed your bags for a vacation, but in that packing, you pack all of the stress of your current life, all of the pressures that you have. You are not alone. I struggle with this, too. So many people struggle with this. It's so easy to carry the emotional weight of our home, home. The things that we haven't finished, that relational tension that we have, or just the invisible pressure to keep everything together right into what's supposed to be a time of rest. We have over complicated the idea of vacation. But God did not intend for our rest to be just physical, emotional and spiritual rest matter too. So if you're struggling with this, the first thing that you have to do is give yourself permission in to just let it go. Honestly, let it go. That laundry list of responsibilities back home, the list of things that you have to do, the projects that you're working on, just press pause. I promise it's not going to go anywhere. It's still going to be there when you get back. But for now, just entrust it to God. Psalm 55:22 says, Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you. You do not have to solve everything before you go. You don't have to clean everything. You don't have to declutter everything. Although we're working on that on our declutter diaries with Kathi Lipp. And hopefully you've been following along with that. But you don't have to get everything perfect before you go. Sometimes you just leave in the middle of chaos. I remember when my husband and I were young married with a young baby. We were leaving for a little short vacation, that we were having that was local. And I remember my husband coming home and saying, well, the house isn't clean, we can't get go. And this caused a giant fight. And he had a point and I had a point. But we had to reset our expectations and realize sometimes things are just chaotic and you just gotta go with what you have in the moment. You don't have to solve everything. Just trust that God is working even when you are not. That's okay. Then the second thing that you need to do is set simple sacred boundaries. And they need to be sacred. They really do leave that to do. List behind. Don't bring your work to the beach. Don't check emails just in case. If you are tempted to stay plugged in, tell your spouse or a friend ahead of time and ask them to hold you accountable. If you're in a situation where you must work when you are gone, and I have been in that situation, set the boundaries around that as well as you can. Set those expectations. I'm going to spend the afternoon with you. I'll work in the morning, I will join you in the afternoon, whatever that is, Set those expectations. And then after you've done that, practice being present in small moments. Listen with your whole face, listen with your whole heart. When your child is showing you a shell that they found or your spouse just wants to take a walk, put your phone down during dinner, really laugh and linger and just give yourself permission to just be. Every smile, every sunset, every step, every just little moment is a reminder that you are human. Not just someone who is fixing things, someone who's accomplishing things. You are human and you need to breathe and you need to rest. I encourage you to start each day of your vacation with a reset prayer. Maybe you get up five minutes before your family wakes up and you just breathe deep and you open your hands and you say, God, help me be present today. Not in yesterday's worries, not in tomorrow's tasks, but just present here. Rest is not a reward. It's a rhythm that God built into our life and that is really important.

Before you go on vacation, name your distractions. Write down everything that pulls away your attention

So when we look at how to truly unplug on vacation, body, mind and soul, let's break this down a little bit. Let's talk about our mind first, because that's one of the hardest parts to unplug mentally, to just make quiet that inner dialogue. The mind doesn't stop just because the car is packed or just because your out of office reply is on. Even when you're away from work, many of us carry the weight of expectations. What should we be doing? How should we be relaxing? Are we doing vacation right? Is our family happy? Is everything okay? Add to that that buzz of notifications, that quiet pull of scrolling social media, and we just never really rest. So here's some tips for you. First of all, before you go on vacation, name your distractions. I'm serious. Sit down with your family. Write down everything that pulls away your attention. What is it? Is it email? Is it group text? Is it app notifications? Is it social media comparison traps awareness? Just naming those and being intentional about it, then creating a boundary plan, saying, okay, these are my distractions. Here are my digital boundaries for that. Like, I'll check text once in the morning and once in the evening. No scrolling during meals or conversation. And then be brave enough to share this boundary with your family and ask them to hold you accountable. It is really hard, but you'll find after a couple of days, you think, I don't want to go back. I don't want to. I. I don't want to. I want to stay here. You could also practice mindfulness. Practice praying. When your brain starts spinning, just pause and just breathe and just pray. A simple line. Just say, lord, you're here and so am I. I, Lord, you're here. Help me to be here too. Help me to be present and Give your mind something else to do. Do. Bring, a book, bring a journal, bring a game. Rest isn't the absence of activity just not doing anything. It's the presence of peace. So how are you going to cultivate peace in your mind?

We talked about unplugging your mind during your vacation

Okay, let's talk. We talked about unplugging, your mind. Let's talk about unplugging your emotions. Now. Vacations are often, often filled with joy stealers. Okay. Have you ever experienced this? Like, why isn't everyone having fun? Should we be doing more this? Why are you so upset? Why do you want everything? Why are you throwing a fit? Why did you ruin this afternoon? Oh, those things are so dangerous. And you may feel pressure to capture the memory more than you're living in the moment. That is a really weighty thing to sit with you. We really need to live in the moment. And if you look around, there's been times where have looked around, and I've seen something I've been experiencing, whether that's with my family or whether that's at a concert. And all of a sudden, what do you see? You see everybody's phones. Everybody's watching their experience through the lens of their phone. And we always say, pictures don't do it justice. When we look at something with our eye, it's so much more beautiful, it's so much more enjoyable than experiencing it through the lens of our phone. So make sure that, yes, you want to capture those special memories, but you also want to make sure you're living in the moment. And are you capturing that moment for yourself to relive with your family later? Or are you thinking about curating content? It can be hard. You might even carry invisible guilt for being away from work or just being imperfect. So here's some tips for unplugging emotionally. First, let go of the high right highlight reel. Let it go. Remind yourself every day this vacation doesn't need to be perfect to be meaningful. Just let it go. Practice, presence over performance. Take fewer pictures. Take more mental snapshots. Invite your family to share their favorite moment each day and speak life out loud. Tell your family what you love about them. Not just smile for the camera. Because lots of times we can do that. Just say, smile for the camera. Do this for the camera. No, Engage in those. And so I encourage you with this verse, Isaiah 26:3. You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you. So keep your mind steadfast. Trust in the Lord, and he will keep you in perfect peace.

Talking about unplugging, um, physically, let's be honest

All right. Talk about unplugging, physically, let's be honest. Honest. Sometimes it is not the work emails that's keeping us tethered. It is the blue squares, that physical phone that we are holding in our hand that is constantly, literally attached to our body. And we use that physical means for digital escapism. And this is really creating a false connection. We, we, it distracts us from the people who are in front of us. It distorts our idea of what rest looks like. And we're more engaged in living someone else's life. We had a guest on recently who talked about this generation of kids who will die with more memories of other people's experiences than their own experiences. They will spend more time looking at a social media feed of someone else's memories than curating their own. That is really deeply convicting. So here's some tips for physical unplugging and untethering yourself from your family phone. Log out of your apps. Log out of them, like log out or even delete them. Make that barrier harder so you're not getting those physical, notifications. And use a grayscale mode. Because if you're using a graysmail mode, it loses their what I've heard referred to as dopamine dazzle. How we get those hits of dopamine is where interacting and liking people's photos and they're liking ours. When you take the color out of the picture, it decreases that response. So that's another physical thing you can do. Put your phone in a central spot during the vacation. Maybe you have a check in station. It can be, can be my family uses a cardboard box. It can be a lockbox, it can be a basket, it can be a drawer. Just where are you going? To all check in your phones together and think about things like wearing a real watch or carrying a camera. Just need, needing. Because you think I need my phone to check the time or take pictures. The world will keep spinning without you. Let God carry what you were never meant to hold. And now unplugging, is a family. How do you do this? Because if you're trying to be the phone police, you don't want to be that tech tyrant on vacation. You don't want to be that harpy, shrewish person who's saying get off your phone, get off your phone. That just leads to conflict. That leads to point back to you to say, well, you're on your phone this much. It has arguments. Think about what compelling alternative can you have and know that don't just put it away. Don't say put that away. Instead, invite them to something better. Say, hey, it's time to go on a walk. We'd love to go on a walk, wherever that might be. So here's some tips for that. Create some screen free zones or times. We'll be talking more about that in the weeks to come. Maybe that's when you're on the car ride, maybe that's in the the evening. What are the tech free screen free times that you're going to have during this vacation? And then play games together. That is such a fun way to engage with your family. There are all kinds of games that you can play just depending on your family's personality. And they may not be interested at first, but just start playing. It's amazing how when you have fun, that fun is contagious and kids want to join in what you're doing, they'll start watching. This is how my kids kids became engaged in Trivial Pursuit. They saw me and my husband playing and they wanted to show oh, I know more than that. Make them the memory keepers. Assign your kids the job of being the family photographer or the daily video journaler and channel their tech towards creativity, not consumption, not consuming other people's memories, but creating your own family's memories. Do something active. Do paddle boarding, do hiking, do scavenger hunter hunt and reflect together at night. What was your favorite moment today? Don't fight their phone. Offer something their heart is craving. That's connection. That's fun. That's love. That's laughter. That's to be seen, to be known, to be loved and sacred. Rest is not lazy. It is obedience. When we rest and we unplug, we see. I believe God holds it all together. Not me. I'm not the center of the universe. And rest says my value isn't coming from how much I post, how much I perform, how much I prove. Rest says I'm going to model something holy for my children. I'm modeling peace. I'm modeling contentment. Most of all, I'm modeling presence. And I encourage you. Put down your phone. Not just for your kids, but with them. Let your vacation be a time when they hear you belly laugh, when they see your undivided attention, they see you looking at them with their face and they remember how it felt for you to be fully present and loved. The world is always going to be waiting for you. The pressures of that, but your people won't. You don't need a luxury resort or a perfect itinerary to give your family a good vacation. You need your presence. And I encourage you to make unplugging on vacation a holy rhythm. Unplug. To reconnect. Make it more than just a trip. Make it a gift of joy and rest and deep connection. And I pray as you travel on your family vacation, that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you. And I'll see you here next time.

>> Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.