Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And I have a special treat for you today. I always love field trip days. Maybe that's my days of working in schools and working as a school nurse.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm with a school nurse today, and we're having a field trip. We are on location here with Ryan and Jessica Walling. It's always great to have a conversation where we can be eye to eye, heart to heart. I heard the Walling story, actually. Okay. All right.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That was already not true. My producer heard the Walling story on the local news. I watched this. It absolutely captivated my heart. And I thought, oh, I really want to have a conversation. And I told my producer, I said, you know what I'm going to say? She said, I'm already on it. And here we are to share this remarkable story with you today. I'm really just grateful to be able for you to be here. Thank you so much, Ryan and Jessica, for being here.
Pastor Ryan and Jessica Walling began exploring adoption
And so today, we're beginning with a story that spans continents and hearts. Yes, I have a flair for the melodramatic, but this is a dramatic story. It really is. We're talking about a journey of faith, family, and unexpected beginnings. After being told they couldn't have children, Pastor Ryan and Jessica Walling began exploring adoption. And when one door closed in Nepal, another opened in Ethiopia. And that is where they saw a photo. I can already feel like I see the photo in my mind. Four siblings older than most adoptive families are willing to consider. And something about that picture told Jessica, these are our kids. And despite the overwhelming odds, they said yes. Yes to four children who had promised each other they wouldn't be separated. I'm already going to start crying. In this segment, we're going to talk about how the Wallings discerned God's call, how they overcame common fears, and how they stepped into one of the most courageous yeses of their life. And as I was sitting here visiting with the Wallings before we went live, we were just talking about how God writes our story. We just have to have the submission, the obedience, the courage, the patience to let him do that. And I'm so grateful that we're going to share that story today. So I want you to take us back to that first moment when you saw the photo of the siblings in Ethiopia, what was going through your heart and mind? What had led to that moment? Who's gonna go first?
>> Jessica Walling: I'll go first.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Okay, great.
>> Jessica Walling: So, I told him yesterday when we. We are talking about this, I said, probably insanity, just being naive and just thinking, oh, I've got this. I've been through nursing school. I've. I've done some hard things. Let's. Yeah, sure. Why not? And also just wanting, you know, we can. We can complete our family all and one, you know, one swoop. So it just. I don't know, it kind of made sense. We had talked about maybe two or three from Nepal, and. So what's one more? You know, I mean, more the merrier.
>> Ryan Walling: Yeah. For me, seeing the picture and hearing what some of the things that she was saying, she was like, ryan, I think this is the four. I think these are our kids. My response was, no, that's not right. It's not four. It can't be four. My, response was, okay, you know, God, fix her heart and lead us to the two or three.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And you're the.
>> Ryan Walling: That's right.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That's intimidating. Yes.
>> Ryan Walling: so, But. But all. All along, obviously, God had it right and she had it right, and he, fixed my heart so well.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That. That is just amazing. And I know there's a lot of people who probably relate to that story, because I've heard that before. You just see a child, you see a photo of a child, and you just feel the voice of God speak to you. And there's a lot of people who ask me about that. Like, how do you hear God? Is he speaking audibly to you? How did you get to a point in your life where you felt so confident that these were your kids? What gave you.
>> Ryan Walling: Well, I want to. I want to chime in right here and just say I've. I've learned over the years, and maybe some of your, listeners who are husbands will identify with this, but I figured out that God speaks to her about six months before he speaks to me.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Can you say it again for people in the back?
>> Jessica Walling: But, I mean, I've heard people call, you know, God nudges, whatever, you know, whatever you'd like to say. But, I don't know, seeing their picture, hearing their story, what little of it we knew at the time, I don't know, you just. Just a pool just of. I don't know, inside going, I think this is. I think this is where you should go. I think this is you know, I think this is them. I think this is who you should.
>> Ryan Walling: Pursue, you know, and I'm not sure if it's part of it at least was we're going to keep taking steps of faith in this direction until the door closes. We, we wanted children, went through infertility, couldn't have children, wanted to adopt. One door closed, another door opened, we walked through it. Just keep taking steps until God says no.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And when you saw that picture, Jessica, for the first time, you didn't know at that time, I think, that they had promised each other that they wouldn't split up. So what was the backstory? What was God doing on the other side of the world as he was working in your heart?
>> Jessica Walling: I.
>> Ryan Walling: It'S. I'll chime in. I mean, we're still putting pieces together of, of their story as we've heard it. I mean, they've been home with us now 13 years and just over 13 years. And so when, when they came home, they were older children, I guess you would say, you know, but, their English was broken, if it, Broken is not even the right word. It was almost non existent. Very limited, very limited. And, and so hearing their story and putting those pieces together, and plus you're hearing these stories of what's happening from the kids that it was happening to were, you know, 3, 4, 8, 10, 11, you know, as these things are happening. So you're getting stories, from a child's mind the best that they can remember it put back together into English. And so there were all kinds of things that were going on that God was orchestrating behind the scenes. And my kids and my church have heard me say, anytime you think God did a thing or is doing a thing, he's doing 10,000 things you don't see.
>> Jessica Walling: I, was going to say too m. I thought about this. So our, the agency that we, sought out, that we had heard about, they specialize in waiting children, which meant sibling groups, kids with special needs. And you know, I guess it kind of made sense. Like, we have been waiting for a long time. We'd have been doing all this preparation and research. And just when you dive into the world of adoption, there's so many options, there's so many countries. And so, we've done all this waiting. They've done waiting. They've been the orphanage about four years. And that's also like, touched my heart of like, these kids, they deserve a family. They need a family. Like, why would we not, you know, why would we not Say yes to.
>> Ryan Walling: Yeah. And waiting. I'm sorry to interrupt, but just for those that may be listening, waiting, just the word there is, paper ready. Like all of their papers were supposed to be in order and they were just waiting on a family to say, I, choose you.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: So that's so convicting. And in the middle of all of this, you, you're a nurse, you. And so I can see that coming across in your heart and thinking, sure, yeah, we can take care of four kids, right? Because God, I feel like God even equipped you use that in your calling to say, okay, yeah, we could do this. Because nurses do that kind of thing all the time. But looking at it saying, okay, four, you've got Ryan on board now, but God threw you a curveball, right? Like maybe like a, a big curveball.
So tell us how that, what happened, that was unexpected
So tell us how that, what happened, that was unexpected, how that didn't dissuade you from still going to Ethiopia and picking up your kids.
>> Jessica Walling: So I think we, agree and sign the contract to adopt them. I believe like December 30th or 31st of 2010. and then by late February, I guess it was after Super Bowl. actually around super bowl, whenever that is. I was not feeling well and then soon found out that I was pregnant.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I need the timing, right?
>> Jessica Walling: Never been pregnant before.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That's incredible.
>> Jessica Walling: and so we were actually, of course freaking out, but also like, I guess, I guess that's, that's a good word of like, okay, God, what are you doing here? Like, we are just really shocked. but also we had. You know, we've grown up in families that you, when you commit to something, you, you, you do what you're. You say you're going to do. And so we already, these were our kids. Like, we already knew their story. We had committed them. They knew about us. Like, of course we're gonna follow through. It's gonna look a little different than we thought. But hey, we'll figure it out as we go, I guess.
>> Ryan Walling: Yeah. And there were people that, that said we were crazy for adopting four and then finding out that, that now we're going to have a biological child. It was. Well, you're not still going to adopt, are you?
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And it's like people like, don't, don't say that.
>> Ryan Walling: Yeah, that's. Yeah, yeah. People say well meaning things, but, sometimes they're not the right things. but, but yeah, like she said, we, you know, we were for sure going to go through with it. I'll be honest. I was A little upset at the pregnancy and at the timing. I was upset with God because we walked, I mean our journey, we walked side by side with other couples who also could not have biological children. And us and others, going back to things that people say that they just don't know. What they're saying sometimes is, you know, people would say, well, you know, I know this friend. And they, they signed papers to adopt or they adopted and then the Lord allowed them to get pregnant. And I thought, we're going to be another one of those stories that our name is going to get used to hurt someone else who, you know, because.
>> Jessica Walling: It'S not always everyone's.
>> Ryan Walling: That's not everybody's story. I mean, some of those couples that we walked side by side with, they didn't have biological children. They, they adopted, you know, and that's how God built their family. But again, going back to what you said at the beginning, I mean, God writes our stories if we'll, you know, just allow him to do that and follow him faithfully.
Jessica was pregnant when she went to Ethiopia to meet her four children
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: What was that like going over to Ethiopia? You're expecting a baby that's not easy to travel and you're going to pick up four kids. Walk us through what that was like.
>> Jessica Walling: So I had a good friend Haley that went with me because we knew that I would have to travel before, I went earlier than probably expected because I was pregnant and I had to travel way before my due date. but I also had. We both parents had to meet the children before the adoption could be finalized. So I had a friend that went with us and was the best traveling companion ever. and just, I mean she took the photos that. Yeah, I mean we just are just treasures.
>> Ryan Walling: I wasn't there on the first trip. Jessica went and this friend, shout out Haley Scully is like, she's the reason that we have some great pictures.
>> Jessica Walling: Amazing.
>> Ryan Walling: Of our youngest son Iyasu hugging his mom. And, and she has a pregnant belly and. And you know, it's just beautiful pictures that bring tears to my eyes to even think about.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And he wouldn't let go of you, right?
>> Jessica Walling: Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much.
Evie was premature and she was in NICU for three weeks
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, what were those early days like going from. I mean, you are waiting for more than a decade to have a baby.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And then you have five kids in the same year. And what was that like? Because I think sometimes people romanticize the thought of adoption and they think about all of those good parts, which there are good parts, but there's hard parts too. So what, what was that like? And how did you get through.
>> Ryan Walling: was exhausting.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah, I bet.
>> Jessica Walling: So Evie was premature and she was in NICU for three weeks. And then so we brought home. I was. She was born at 32 weeks. So that was a whole challenge in itself. Just getting adjusted to not only a newborn, but a newborn with knee, you know, extra needs that we didn't really prepare for. And also a good reason that I traveled a lot earlier. so that, that wasn't in the, you know, that wasn't in the plans. But I think just being able to take those baby steps into like we. She was eight months old when they came home, so we were in a good routine. But of course, you know, you always try to, you try to make a schedule, you try to keep all those things, for everyone's benefit. but, and then trying to keep them, get them on a schedule and like, we're all taking naps together because guess what? Mom needed it too. And you know, even though they were older, we were like, we're just going to have quiet time in our room. And they were probably like, why are.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: We all.
>> Jessica Walling: Why are we, you know, you know, 11 and 12 year old M. Why are we in our room, taking, resting. And I was like, it's, it's, it's for mom. Uhhuh.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah, absolutely.
>> Ryan Walling: But you had, you also had to have a schedule, obviously, because when you're trying to run a household of that many people and the newness for all of us, so people made fun of us, like, this is when we eat, this is when we go to bed. These are exact times and we don't budge. And, and people felt that was crazy, but it was, it was survival mode.
>> Jessica Walling: Well, and also for their, like, I mean, they'd obviously been through a big transition. It wasn't just us transitioning. They were huge cultural, you know, just shocking, you know, the differences. And so it. They needed their brains, needed a rest. And I'm sure they were very overwhelmed as well.
Candace talks about finding out she was pregnant through an ultrasound
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, so many beautiful things about this. And looking at it, we were just talking right before the show started about how God bringing you through hard things. Looking at that infertility journey, that's not anything you would have ever have wanted. But you look back and you see how God was refining you and preparing you and giving you all, all of the strength and the character that you needed to be able to do that. And I asked you, I said, if you can say one thing, what's one message? And you said, trust God to write your story. That's what we came up with and that's what we're talking about. We have a lot more to talk about with this story. It really has an ending that had me in tears watching in the car. I may have watched your new story like maybe three times. So maybe people are going to look this up. Such a great story of hope. And that's what we're all about, is prescribing hope for for healthy families. And we will have more with Ryan and Jessica Walling when we come back. Don't go away. We'll see you right on the other side of this break with some hope and some help. See you then. Candace talks about finding out she was pregnant. Thankfully, an ultrasound provided by preborn allowed her to hear her baby's heartbeat. The sonogram sealed the deal for me. My baby was like this tiny little spectrum of hope and I saw his heart beating on the screen and knowing that there's life growing inside, I mean, that sonogram changed my life. I went from just Candace to mom. Thank you. To everybody that has given these gifts, you guys are giving more than money. You guys are giving love. PreBorn currently has clinics that do not have ultrasound machines. Would you consider a leadership gift and sponsor a machine today? These life Saving machines cost $15,000 more than most centers can afford. Your donation will save countless lives for years to come. Dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby or go to preborn.com/AFR. Because He Lives (Amen) by Matt Maher I believe in the Son I believe in the risen one. I believe I overcome, by the power of his blood. Amen. Amen. I'm alive. I'm alive because he lives. Amen. Amen. Let my song join the world that never ends. Because he lives.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That's because he lives. Amen. by Matt Maher and we are on location today which is always a fun treat for me. I'm here with married couple Ryan and Jessica Walling. Jessica is a nurse, so that's just a fun connection for me for sure. And Ryan is a pastor here in the Port, Texas, just outside of Houston. And we are talking about their journey and God writing their story, their call to adoption. If you were listening in the first segment, they were talking about more than 10 years of struggling with infertility. Jessica seeing a photo of four siblings in Ethiopia, saying to her husband, that's my kids. Six months later you were in. She is going, planning to travel. They signed the paper in December and then in February she finds out she's expecting. What an amazing, amazing story. And one of the boys wrote something on your hand. I do want to hear about, about this story. When you went over there, we were talking about you being in Ethiopia. Tell us about that moment.
>> Jessica Walling: So we go to the orphanage and of course there's lots of kids that want to see me and Haley. that's heartbreaking. Yeah, yeah, they're, they're. And they want to show you everything. I want to show you their rooms, they want to show you their, their, you know, their belongings where there's a baby room that has a lot of babies and toddlers. And Rahel would definitely wanted. That was one of her favorite spots and she wanted to show me that. But, just in that we're there several hours playing with the kids. You know, we brought puzzles, we brought markers, we brought colors, treats, you know, so we're playing with the things that I had brought for them and and Yosef, which would have been about, I don't know, about 6 or 7 at the time, took a, took a pen and wrote you are mom on the inside of my palm. Oh my goodness. And of course, you know, my friend Haley that I talked about that she, you know, she photographs that and it's just a, ah, forever, you know, forever etched in my memory. but super special. And they, you know, they're through as much English as they knew. They're trying to, you know, trying to talk to us. And so a lot of it is, you know, a lot of it is, you know, like showing, you know, pointing and you know, taking and you know, like, let me show you this. But, you know, you didn't know where you were going. But, it was fun. It was, very exciting, but really surreal because we've been, you know, learning more and more of the kids story and getting to talk to them a little bit through Skype, talking to the agency, just kind of finding. And there were people, other people, other Americans that had met them because other people visiting the orphanage and getting to hear what they knew about the kids. And they're like, they're such great kids. They need a family. They deserve a family. And so that was kind of cool to find out all these things even before we met, you know, before I met them. And to see that, you know, brought to life, it was exactly true.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And what have you learned of their story? You talked about how you're still even learning parts of their story. And I know that you see God at work in all of those things. So what have you learned and how has that showed you how God was In every step of the way.
>> Ryan Walling: I mean, we continue to learn things from their story. they've been home 13 years now and they're still, they'll still get together. We just came back from family vacation and I forced us to rent a 12 passenger van so that we could all, all be in this van together for 14, 14 hours. I just force it. but, but even hearing them just a few weeks ago, remembering things and oh, do you remember when this happened and that happened? And no, that's not the way that happened, you know, because it's in the minds of these younger kids and they're still figuring out what their story is. but looking backward in time from our story of marriage and infertility and hearing the pieces and parts of their story and looking back, it's, it's not always that you get to see all that God was doing, but it's really, it's just such a mercy, it's such a kindness of God to allow you to look back and see his providential hand guiding all of these different pieces and parts. It's, not everybody gets that opportunity, but it's a blessing when you do.
Ryan, how did God sustain you through difficult times in your life
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Ryan, you're a pastor, so there's, I feel like a special kind of pressure there. Like you're supposed to be super spiritual.
>> Ryan Walling: About everything, everything that God's doing all the time, right?
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And be perfectly calm and at peace and always on your best. But you are human and you have even already, you know, just talked about, shared openly some of your struggles that you've had as human because pastors are human. In case you didn't know that pastors are human. What were the struggles that you had? How did God, God sustain you during the things that maybe you thought, hey, this is a little harder than I thought it was going to be. And how did you see God meet you in those moments?
>> Ryan Walling: I mean, it was most often it was, I mean, I would love to say it was through his word. I opened the Bible and he just spoke to me so clearly. Most of the time it was, it was the church, it was the people of God being the hands and feet of Jesus to us. through, through infertility, through the adoption process, through, through the ups and downs of the adoption process. but I had this opportunity, which is a strange, rare opportunity to meet a pastor preacher who I won't name, but many listening would know. He's written books and fairly well known, and he and his wife were going through the adoption process as well. And they were actually adopting from Nepal and both of our adoptions had just recently failed. And, I asked him, I said, how do you keep going? Where do we go from here? What are y' all gonna do? You know? And, I just remember him saying, a high view of God's sovereignty. You just have to have a high view of God's sovereignty. He's not. This didn't catch him off guard. He knew this was coming. keep that high view of God's sovereignty. And so my wife, my kids, my church have heard me say over and over and over, like, God is in control, he is sovereign, he is guiding this. He's writing this story. and so often, and we see this over and over in the biblical narrative that, that people want to take their story and write it themselves. You know, And I mean, we could sit here and list examples of, of Abraham and Sarah and, you know, on and on and on. but. But when you, when you're able to look back and see that God's working in that. When you can see that in the past, then you can trust that in the future. I think so. I think that's what has sustained me through a lot of those difficult times.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I think when we try to write our own story, we just come up pitifully short compared to what God wants to do for us. I mean, God's ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. And I had actually shared with our listeners, I was recently in, Athens, Greece, and I visited the Acropolis, which, of course is beautiful, it is amazing. But all of those monuments are crumbling. And you look over and you see the Areopagus, this big rock where Paul was preaching. And Paul's words have endured. I'm sure Paul would not have wanted his story to be, oh, let me be this really wealthy, well educated guy who gets martyred for Christ, you know, But I think. But I don't think that he would change anything. And looking at what God calls us through, it's just. I'm sure that this wasn't the way that you wrote your story, but now God has just blessed your obedience in that and seen that. And we talked earlier a little bit about what? well, actually, let me ask you about the meaningful moments. Let's talk about some of those meaningful moments when your new family began to bond, because I'm sure it. I'm sure you had those worries like, okay, we have a biological child, we have these adopted children. Am I going to have enough physical energy, emotional reserve to handle all of this at once, to blend them together as one family because I'm sure there's four and there's one. One's a baby, some are older. Here you're talking about different cultures, different continents. I mean that is overwhelming. When did you start to see, okay, God is in this and we're gonna be okay.
>> Ryan Walling: I want to steal the opportunity to speak again. This is one of my favorite things. And in case it. I don't think it was mentioned, but. So our firstborn was born and then eight months later the four came home from Ethiopia. And shortly after that we, I guess during then we realized that she was pregnant with our second or sixth, whichever way you want to count that. and so there's 15 months between our two biological. Well they're not little girls anymore, but our two biological girls and four came home right in the middle. So zero to zero to six in 15 months.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That's intense.
>> Ryan Walling: Was insane. Yeah, intense is probably a better word, but it was crazy. but the thing that I just again look back and realize is we had these four kids that we loved in. Indeed.
>> Ryan Walling: But not necessarily in relationship yet. And we've brought them into our home and quite frankly they're strangers. We don't know them and they don't know us. But one of the bonding agents, if you will, is Evie. This 8 month old baby girl was our daughter and their little sister. And looking back and remembering those moments of that was their little sister. And so therefore these are our kids. You know, I don't know, there was something about having a newborn play with.
>> Jessica Walling: A baby and you know, that's just a joint, you know, Joy, you know that yeah. That they were excited about too, as much as we were. And so yeah, for sure that was a bonding connection.
>> Ryan Walling: Evie's 13 now and if, if, when I'm sharing that story, if she just says, she says, well, I'm just that good.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: You've raised her well. But you know what, the, the amazing thing to me in that and God's story is that God uses everyone. Even an 8 month old baby is part of that and her life value, just the value and the mat. The way that she matters in that story I think is really beautiful.
A lot of people are more likely to know someone going through adoption
And you know you are a pastor of a church and so you had a church walking alongside you. And I think let's, let's talk about that a little bit because the likelihood is probably most people listening are not going to be called to Africa to to adopt kids. Although that may be you. So if that's You. This is your sign. But if a lot. But a lot of people are more likely to know someone who is walking through that journey. We talked a little bit earlier about things maybe not to say, things not to do and how it is hard. It is struggle, but it's hard to know who to be vulnerable with. You know, how much do you share and how much do you protect them? What would you say now, knowing what you know, what would you say to people who think, I know somebody who's walking through this? How could you best support them? What do you think?
>> Jessica Walling: you were talking about, you know, early on, and I was just sitting there thinking. You're like, how did y' all do? I was like, we didn't do this alone. Like, I mean, our family wasn't nearby. They would come to visit and help, of course, but they were, you know, anywhere from five to seven hours away. So it. We leaned on our church family and they were amazing. From fundraising, like a giant fundraiser, to babysitting, grocery shopping. They, like, we were part of a young married group that they were all. We were kind of all having, you know, kids at the same time. Some had, kids similar age, similar ages to ours that we adopted and just play dates, like, just, I mean, from day one, like, okay, let's. And so that also helped the kids feel connected and other people cared about them. And so that. That was cool, too. Just, they. They met other kids right away.
>> Ryan Walling: Yeah.
>> Jessica Walling: because they came in April, we did not put them in school right away because that's the end of the school year. So we had several, you know, months before they were able to, like, get into school and, you know, meet friends that way. So, that's. That's crucial, if I think that's. Just look for ways to start. You know, there's so many ways to serve a family that's, you know, preparing for. And also, I mean, we got. We got hand me down clothes from these other. I mean, just all kinds of ways that you can. That you can serve someone. And, And then there's going to be, you know, also there's going to be hard days where you just tell someone, like, hey, if you, you know, don't, like, if you don't like them today, just. I'm sure they didn't like us sometimes too. just like with any parenting or, you know, child relationship, but just being like, it's okay, you know, it's going to be okay. You still love them. You may not like them in this very moment, and that's okay. Just, you know, you can call me when, when that happens and tell me about it.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm sure the kids feel the same way. Like, I love you. I just don't like how you're choosing to act today. For sure, for certain. What do you think about that, Ryan? How do you see people walking alongside you?
>> Ryan Walling: so, I mean, this journey really spans four churches. the church that we, that she grew up in, we were married in is Fair Park Baptist Church in Westminster, Louisiana. And they, they were our infertility journey, really. And then we met all of these wonderful people at Southwestern Baptist, Theological Seminary in Fort Worth. And from there we went to Austin, and Austin is where our two daughters were born and the four kids came home. And so that church was, just instrumental in. I mean, they orchestrated this fundraiser that gave us a lot of money toward our adoption. and then those friends, Friends, of ours, and those friends of ours who had kids, our kids age. but. But to go with what she was saying, I think that, I think you've got to have friends that you can be really vulnerable, you know, and, and to, to the church, to those who are listening, that maybe, you know, someone who's adopting or you, or they're thinking about adoption or whatever you. To be able to say to them, I will not judge you, I will love you, and I will listen to you when you're hurting. because we had some of that, and then we had some people that we were vulnerable with that in hindsight, we shouldn't have been, you know, but. But to the people, in the churches, I would, I would say make sure that you are, truly a friend to those who are going through it.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, we were just talking, Ryan, about how it would have been easy. I mean, really, I think I'm a mom of four, which usually I can say I'm a mom of four. You're. You're parents of six, and you had them all in 15 months, which is just wild. And I think there is not any parent who is listening who goes to church, who doesn't identify with the Sunday morning struggle. You know, just thinking, okay, that's a lot to get six kids and your kids can't speak English. Have you just accepted that about yourself? Like, okay, we're just going to be late, and that's how we're going to roll. But you talked about how if you, if you weren't the pastor, it would have been easy for you just to say, yeah, no, we're not going to go. So speak to that person who's struggling, who's saying, I know I need to walk in community, because really, I see it as, you know, it's hard to walk to. It's hard to get up and go, but it's hard to walk without that kind of support that you're describing.
>> Ryan Walling: I think you've got to have that community before you step into this. I mean, once you're already in the throes of adoption or, or just raising children, period, doesn't matter if they're adopted or not. you've got to have that support beforehand so that you have it in.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: The thick of it, which is so much better. But if you don't still go, because I just. There's so many things that I've been through thinking, what would I do without people showing up with a casserole? You know, without people showing up to do my laundry, Without. I mean, really, like, and some people saw my literal dirty laundry. But sometimes you just need that kind of help. Well, when we come back, we're going to talk specifically about one of their sons journey this. We are in Texas. This story is about to take a football turn. So if you're interested in that, which I hope you are, come on back and we'll talk about this arc, this beautiful story. Thank you again, Ryan and Jessica, for sharing your story and seeing how God has equipped you. We'll be right back on the other side of this break. Don't go away. Here's Dr. Al Mohler from the American Family Studios documentary.
>> Dr. Al Mohler: The God who speaks Jesus in the Gospel of John continually points to the scriptures. And as he says famously, these are they that testify of me. If you knew Abraham from the scriptures, you would know me. Jesus himself refused to allow that division between his own authority and the authority of scripture. He never set scripture aside. What he did was to make very clear that he perfectly fulfilled scripture. And of course, he went beyond even the Old Testament law in the Sermon on the Mount, saying, you've heard it said, you shall not commit adultery. I will tell you that if you've lusted in your heart, you have already committed adultery. So Jesus Christ himself drives us back to the authority of scripture, and evidently that's exactly where he wants his church to be. Visit thegodwhospeaks.org.
>> Rest For Your Soul by Austin French: Are, you tired and troubled? Weighed down by a heavy load? Praying for change, searching for faith, Waiting on a miracle? Are, you drowning in questions? Can't believe where the road has led? There's one who knows the heavy you hold and he says come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened oh, who are hurting Come to me I'll be your shelter My yoke is easy My load is light. And you. Can find Rest for your soul Rest for your soul There's a peace. Welcome back, friends.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That is rest for your soul by Austin French. And, we're talking about finding rest for your soul in the middle of God writing your story, whatever that is. And I have found in my life. I never expected to be sitting here behind a microphone having a radio show, but that is the story that God has written for me, and I'm so grateful for you all being here, part of that. And today I'm here on location in laporte, just outside of Houston, talking with Ryan and Jessica Walling. And they are parents to six children ranging in age from 12 to 24. And if you've been listening, you've heard about their journey of 11 years of infertility, fertility. And they began the adoption process for a sibling group of four from Ethiopia, but then had two biological children within 15 months of each other. That zero to six kids in just over a year. That is a wild ride, but filled with God's grace. And Ryan is a pastor, Jessica is a school nurse. And they are passionate about marriage and parenting and adoption and ministry. And as we've been talking about your kids, you know, you've had them home with you for quite a while now, and it's amazing, to see their stories unfold. And one of the, And your youngest son, Iyasu, right, Iyasu, he has done really, really well. He serves in the worship band here in your church. He is exuberant. He graduated with a 4.96 GPA. He was accepted to Brown University. He is going somewhere else. I'll tell you in just a little bit. But he started playing high school football. I mean, how has it been to see. And I'm asking about iasu, because he's. Who shared his story, on the news story. And just looking at the trajectory of his life, would you ever. Did you think he was growing up in Ethiopia thinking, oh, I really would like to play football in Texas. God, how did that. How did that story happen?
>> Ryan Walling: Yeah, he didn't even know what football was, when. When he got here. They. Football is soccer. You know, what we call soccer. That's. That's football to them. And, But. But coming here and meeting all the wonderful people that we met and Getting the opportunity to play in, you know, little tackle leagues and flag football and all kinds of things like that. through some generous friends that let him play and taught him to play. he's really. All of our kids are really athletic, but, our oldest, Solomon, more so in. In soccer, what we call soccer. And then Yosef was track and cross country, big cross country guy. But he also had been here long enough that he learned all of the American sports. Football, basketball, you know, so he's just played more sports. and he would say he's more athletic than his brothers, but they're athletic in their own right. But, he just learned the sports, because he had more time in them. And, he just fell in love with football. American football obsessed. Yeah. Yeah. Over the.
>> Jessica Walling: He was going to be an NFL player, and we had to break down the statistics of how likely that is to happen. But he was like, I'm an overcomer. I will do it.
>> Ryan Walling: Yeah. Yeah. And he probably could have.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, absolutely. Just knowing his story and where he came from. What was that like for you, Jessica? Just sitting with Iyasu, but also your other kids, just watching them grow and thrive?
>> Jessica Walling: Yeah, it's. I mean, just amazing to look back and I mean, like I said, resilient overcomers. just all their experiences that they. I mean, it just shaped them into the amazing young people that they are. And, Solomon has, you know, is there. Some are out of the house, thriving, working full time. just. I mean, it's really crazy to see how they.
>> Ryan Walling: You know, it would be awesome. I'd love to sit here and say we're just really good parents, but. But the fact is they really are good kids. and I don't think we can take credit for it. We've done our best to, you know, follow through with what we're going to say and, appropriate types of discipline and structure and all of those things that we've tried to build into their lives. but they're just absolutely great. And then. I don't mean to keep harping on this, but I think the church walking alongside, not just us, but them as well, preach literally, and discipling them and loving them well, and rebuking them when they needed to be rebuked. And, so it truly does take a village, to do that. and so they had a desire to succeed as well. So, I mean, our kids, they wanted to try. I don't. I don't know that they would say it this way, but maybe. Maybe they Would that they were given this chance and they didn't want to just waste it, you know? So I think that, maybe had a little drive. They were driven to succeed in that way. Possibly.
Looking from the outside, I can see how God equipped you as a nurse
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Yasu said such nice things about you on the news story. That was done and just was so affirming of you as his parents. And looking from the outside, I can see how God equipped you as a nurse. You have a special skill set. You know about trauma, you know about trauma informed care. You know how to take care of multiple patients at once, you know how to triage. You know all of those things. And you're a pastor, so you know about those spiritual elements, those spiritual health, the importance of spiritual formation. But you keep talking and. And some of those things that can be a flip side too, because being a pastor's kid, we know, is not easy because cue all the PK jokes, right? Or. Or the deacon's kid jokes, right? Because they have a front row seat to the hurt that can happen inside of church. And you talked about some people whom maybe you trusted and you shouldn't, and they've seen all of that. And yet you don't have perfect kids, just like you're not perfect parents, but you have healthy kids and you have a healthy family. What do you attribute to that? Because we have this joy of looking at your story in this huge arc. You know, it's not like you just came back a year ago. This is decades now of work. What do you look back and say, this is how we made it. This is how our marriage made it. This is how our family made it. What is it?
>> Ryan Walling: Well, because I'm a pastor, I can just keep talking. I'm looking at her to see if she wants to.
>> Jessica Walling: So, divorce is not an option. Like, that's it. It's not in the vocabulary. And we talked about that early, even way before kids. but, you know, we talked about earlier how. Because we had. It was so long, it was just me and Ryan that we did. Like, we were very unified. Like, we. We're just a great team. And so we've had all those years to prepare and think. And, sometimes you, you know, either prepare too much and just. Or you prepare for things and it doesn't work out that way. And you're like, okay, we should have spent our time another way. but. So divorce is not an option. But I mean, really just. I think he's all, you know, he's always said, we're in this together, we're in this together. Like, it is Hard. It's very hard. But we're in this together. You're not by yourself, you know?
>> Ryan Walling: Yeah, people. So. So, yeah, divorce wasn't an option for us, and, the 11 years of not having children just, I think, bonded us together and in a way that we didn't realize what the Lord was doing, at that time. She's. She's a nurse who became a nurse practitioner and, as you said, is now working as a school nurse. But, my undergrad is in sociology, and then I got a master's degree in counseling, and then I. I did, I don't know, 15 years of student ministry just working with teenagers. And so looking back, it's like, not only her skill set, but also the things I learned in. In a master's program in counseling. People are like, oh, so you got a degree in counseling and then you became a pastor, so you're not using your degree right? And I'm like, have you met a human? You know, like. I mean, I use the degree all the time, but also, I think it comes to play in just how we parent. So, yeah, I mean, all of those things, you look back and you go, none of those were accidents. Like, those were all part of God's providential as. you said story arc for our lives.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah. Well, that. That's really amazing. And looking at Igasu, he has been tremendously successful and had a lot of offers to college, a lot of options. He is going to Texas A M University. That's what you said. And this is where I see. I hear all the aggies in my ear. They're saying the word I'm not allowed to say. Not because it's a bad word word, but because I am not in that. I. I'm a UT grad, y'. All.
>> Ryan Walling: Ouch.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: M. I know that's really hard to say that word, by the way. I'll spell it. W, H, O, O, P. I'm not allowed to say it, but hopefully I'm allowed to spell it. Hopefully. I don't think you are. There's. But you'll learn all of those things.
Your son wants to be a nurse practitioner. What does that mean to you
But one of the really touching points of this story arc is that he wants to be a nurse. He wants to be a nurse practitioner. And his. You found out that his mom, his biological, magical mom, died of cancer, and then you're a nurse practitioner. What does that mean to you? To see. That's where he's going. Oh, it gives me goosebumps right now. To see that's his calling to. That's what he's pursuing. He had so many options, so many things. He's so smart and talented and could have done so many things. What does that mean to you?
>> Jessica Walling: I'm very honored. I've never been the type of parent that neither one of us have been like, you should follow in our footsteps. You have. You know, we don't put pressure on what they choose as a career. We're just like, what are you gifted in? And he was naturally gifted in science. So I, of course, pointed that out to him as if he didn't already know. But, So that it just made sense. But I didn't necessarily. I wasn't pressing him to be. To be a nurse. but that's just kind of what. When he started, like, really drilling down on it, what he wanted to do. So I'm very. I'm. I'm really honored and privileged to be able to. For him to join my profession. I think he's going to be great. He's. He's a great coach, a great, great teacher, which you. That is part of nursing. coaching others because you can't do that for them. That it's equipping the person to be able to take care of themselves and their whole self. And so, But he's. He's very caring. Like, it's. And he's a hard worker. He is driven. Like, more driven than I am. Like, so he. He will do great. He'll. He'll go for further than I will. I mean, so I'm super excited for him.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, and really beautiful to see that he has a vision and a dream. Because his, What you learned. His biological mother died because she didn't get the care that she needed. And so being able to provide that care, as you have shown him how to provide that care. I mean, I really think they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but knowing, you know, there are not many. I'm just gonna say it. There are not many really accomplished Texas football players who say, yeah, I'm going to go to nursing school. And so that is testament, I think, to the. The, Just the influence that you have had in his life. And I'm sure that he's going to be absolutely amazing.
What advice would you give to families who are considering adoption
Well, what advice would you give to families who are considering adoption? Because there are a lot of families who think about that, who kind of feel that calling. There are some families who say, we're all in, but it just seems like it has not happened in the way that we thought you mentioned a little bit before about, you know, some of those, plans that you had initially falling through. It is not easy. What would you give them now that you're almost two decades into this?
>> Ryan Walling: So I think adoption was, obviously it was always a part of our story, because God's writing our story, even though we didn't necessarily know it. But before we were. Before we were married, we had serious conversations. And one of them was she felt like one day she would adopt. That had not crossed my mind, but I was open to it. And so I would say, to anyone, be open to it. I don't think everyone's called to it, but I think anyone should at least open their heart to the idea of it. one of the key things for me is that adoption is part of the gospel. You know, it wasn't easy, it wasn't practical for God to adopt us into his family, but we are adopted and made joint heirs with Christ. Like, we're not necessarily biologically a part of God's family, but we are adopted, you know. And so I think that's a beautiful testament. If you've been saved, then you've been adopted into God's family. And so therefore, I think we should go forth with that ministry of adoption. And if it's not adoption for you, as we were saying earlier, respite care, helping, providing, you know, financial needs or food or clothes or whatever, taking trips, those kinds of things. But, But on a. I hate to say a more practical level, as if that's not practical, but, I think it's, It's. I think it's super important to again, recognize that God is sovereign in writing your story. And so if that's something that the Lord is. Has pressed into your heart or is even now in these moments, like, look into that, consider that, talk to others who have done that, it's not an easy process, but, in the end, it's worth it.
How did you encourage your children in their identity in Christ
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, that's so powerful to think about our identity. We are adopted exactly like you said, joint heirs with Christ. And how. How did that weigh into you, guiding your children's identity in Christ? Because sometimes that can be hard for kids who are adopted from somewhere that looks very different from us, has a different culture than you bring them into. How did you encourage them in their identity in Christ?
>> Ryan Walling: Well, I mean, we've never. Obviously our kids are from Ethiopia, so they don't look like us. And so there was no secret. And plus, they were older, so there was no secret as to whether or not they were adopted. But, we have continued to form this identity of you are God's child, and then you are our child, you know, and so that. That matters and that shapes things. So, like, when you get out of the car, going to school, or wherever you're going, you represent our name, but ultimately you represent the father's name. And so, I think I've pressed that into them pretty hardcore. I don't know if you want to add anything to that.
>> Jessica Walling: No, no, no.
>> Ryan Walling: I said it all to the pastor to fill up all the time.
>> Jessica Walling: That.
>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That is perfectly okay, because I think it just really, it sounds so simple. But the truth that has come through is just again, God writing their story, and you're not trying to write over it, trying not to use your own human wisdom to overcome their trauma. I mean, God gives you people in your life. He gives you certain skills, he gives you certain knowledge to be able to do that. But it is God who has done this great and miraculous work. And what I think about is what will the generations be like to come? It's kind of like one of my favorite movies is It's a Wonderful Life, you know, from Christmas, and you look back and you see, like, what would that be be like if you hadn't said yes? And how is God going to use these four children to impact generation upon generation? That's amazing. No matter where you are in your adoption journey or supporting someone else's, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you until we see you right back. Oh, thanks for joining us on location. We'll see you next time.
>> Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
