Transcript

Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite part of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. I hope that you joined us yesterday for Worldview Wednesday, if you are a regular listener. First of all, you thank you. I appreciate you so very much. You don't even know how much I appreciate you listening in because it tells me that your heart is to make your family healthy, and I'm so appreciative of that. And if you've been listening in since January, you know, we've been doing a series of miniseries. We've had Worldview Wednesday. We have had Healthy Habit Friday, where we asked Dr. Nurse Mama Friday, where we talk about habits for healthy families. And we've also been doing the. This is your cue, all of those who you are listening. This is another episode of the Declutter Diaries. Yes, we have Kathi Lipp back. So last time that Kathi was on, I got an email from a listener saying, I immediately started cleaning out my junk drawer when I heard her voice. So that was really good. We are so excited. Today we're going to be talking about back to school clutter. But listen, why am I doing a series on clutter? Clutter impacts so many people, including me. I've been very transparent in sharing my journey. I am a clutter keeper. I really am. And I am married to an engineer who is not sentimentally attached to much. So there's constant discussion on what is essential to keep and what is not essential to keep. And I've learned so much along the way, I cannot even tell you. And I do see, slowly but surely, I see myself taking my life back. And I hope that you are seeing that, too. So if you want to listen to any of the past shows, do that. If you want to join Kathy's Facebook page, you can just tell them that you're our people. She will let you in. She has already said, and we'll give you lots more ways to find her. And there is a even deeper step that you can take to, be a member of her community. But it is so amazing how quickly clutter sneaks up on us. It's just one school paper here. It's a backpack there. And before you know it, the kitchen table looks like a staircase storage unit. It looks like a preschool classroom. It looks like a Amazon, packing plant. I am Telling you, I am right in the middle of that. But clutter isn't just about the mess that we see. Studies show raises stress levels, it hinders focus, and it even sparks family arguments. I have definitely been there. And as the school year begins, I know there are so many families out there who are thinking this is the year we are going to be organized. The backpack is not going to have moldy oranges and you know, this is going to be our homework station. And everybody's gonna file their folder here neatly that those are our aspirations and we want to create, we want to equip you to create spaces that foster calm instead of chaos. So today we're talking about the hidden toll of back to school clutter and the surprising ways it can affect your family's mood, motivation, and even their grades. Your kids grades. Yeah, we'll talk about that. So, Kathi, welcome back.

Jessica says clutter is something she struggles with

So. So Gl have you back for my monthly therapy session. I appreciate it.

>> Kathi Lipp: I love this so much. You know, I, I love that we can have these real conversations because I do lead a very big group of cluttery people, but I don't get a lot of one on one conversation. And you and Stephanie, you guys give me all the feedback and I just love it so much. It's a, it's great. And also, can I just tell you what a service you are doing by being so transparent? Because can we all just agree, we look at Jessica, she's gorgeous. She has the engineer husband, she's a doctor, she's a teacher, she's a radio host. And we just assume your life is issue free. And for you to come out and say, yeah, clutter is something I actually really deal with. We don't get to hear that from people we admire very often. So I think you're doing an even bigger service than you even know, Jessica.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Kathi, like I said, I love this. It's a therapy session. You remind me of a strengths based approach. I definitely don't have it all together. And clutter is just something I have not been able to get control of. but slowly but surely, I've been learning. I've been working on my hundred spaces to declutter. I've been getting rid of things. I have been taking 10 minutes here and there. And so last time, Kathi, since this is the Declutter Diaries and I did commit to be transparent, you gave me a challenge last month. We talked about don't even bring stuff into your house. And so you challenged me to find five things that I would usually bring into My house and that I wouldn't do it. So I want to report back to you. I did this. Yeah, it was very eye opening. So let me tell you the five things, okay? These are the five things that I actually had on auto ship, okay? Toilet paper, toothbrushes, toothpaste, paper plates and paper towels. Now, this sounds so, silly, but I was like, okay, all right, I'm just going to cancel auto ship and not have those. Kathi, I walk out into my garage, and I literally. I'm going to send you a photo of this for proof. I literally have stacks of toilet paper that go over my head in my garage. So this told me a couple of things. It told me, yes, I clearly have PTSD from COVID so I need to let go of that, because I think about that, and it told me I was hearing Kathi Lip's voice in my ear saying, do you not have confidence in yourself to be able to procure these things in a timely manner? Do I not live five minutes down the road? Do I not live one click away from online delivery that I could get any of these things that I need? I went and looked. We have about 10 extra, tubes of toothpaste that are just sitting in a cabinet. I have 30 toothbrushes, okay. That are just sitting there, just waiting. You know, probably with, you know, as many people as I have coming and going in my, house with, you know, young adults coming and going, probably five would be okay. We have, like, about 500 paper plates and way more paper towels. So that was really helpful. So there is my report, and I just wanted to have that degree of accountability and transparency for you and for our listeners.

>> Kathi Lipp: Oh, I love it so much. Because here's the thing. Eventually you will need toilet paper again. Let's all be clear. And eventually there's going to be, the need for the toothpaste. But why are we storing those things at our house?

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Like, yeah, why tell me?

>> Kathi Lipp: Target or Walmart? Yeah, because. Well, I do believe there is some ptsd. You know, my m. One of the people who works for me was not able to get toilet paper. Like, that was a big deal. She.

>> Kathi Lipp: She had to go door to door to get some toilet paper for household. And so I think it's a really good habit, Jessica, to say, okay, you know what? When we get down to we're opening the last thing of toilet paper, let's make sure we have it. Or maybe what we discover is we used to use, you know, one of those big Costco things every two months and now it's close to every three to four months. And so it's reevaluating our new rhythms. And you've got kids going off to college, you've got less consumers in your house now. In the summer it's going to pick back up again, but your day to day consumption may be less. I, I tell you, it is hard for me to resist cooking for a family of six. This is why we bring food to my neighbors. Because I'm still, you know, like I'm feeding the nations. And so at some point we need to renegotiate with ourselves, right. That it's like, okay, I still make big meals, but now that lasts me and Roger, two or three meals. Instead of, you know, the boys finishing the food and saying, what else is there to eat? You know, you're gonna have the cardboard from the packaged chicken. Like they, they would eat anything. And we just don't live like that anymore. So it's re evaluating. You've got kids who are, maybe they are going, you know, they're growing up and they're eating more. That's also a reevaluation. We're always having to adjust and understand what our current needs are.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Kathi, that's so wise. And that's exactly where a lot of families find themselves, right here in the month of August because we're in back to school. And so we have a lot of families who have kids going back to school. And maybe that's a different schedule, a different rhythm, transitions between, you know, preschool, elementary, middle school, high school and college in the workforce. Maybe we have grandparents who are now keeping kids after school and they weren't, you know, because of just all those changing.

You talk about this back to school kind of freak out moment

You talk about this back to school kind of freak out moment, like where we get really stressed and we have all of the best intentions. So let's talk about this season. What do you see in the back to school? Chaos for clutter.

>> Kathi Lipp: Well, first of all, you guys are all getting used to that new schedule and those, you know, especially for little kids, those little bodies, they are not used to having to sit there and pay attention all day. So they may be coming home and falling asleep in the car. you know, everybody is out of whack. So I just want to say to all the parents out there, get, this is, especially these few weeks is the time to give everybody some extra amount of grace. if you are not doing perfectly curated meals right now, it's okay. Like, let's see, is fed, right? Yeah, yeah, yep. when you, you know, if you are Cutting radishes into flowers. First of all, nobody's eating those. And second of all, it's cute the first time. It's time. It's time to be done. Now I love a bento box approach when I can fill it with leftovers, but I am not making sushi teddy bears. That's not happening in our house. Give yourself a break. Like packaged foods. Like everyone for this week. These little, they're called yogis. Like yogurt color covered strawberries. Yes, please. Those are the things that like stock yourself up on things that are going to be easy. But here's the other thing I want to say because I would freak out when my kids were going back to school. I would over buy, I would over buy their school supplies. I would over buy their school clothes. Like there was such a sense of insecurity as a mom, like wanting to make sure that my kids were prepared. Here's the thing. I probably had enough school supplies left over from last year. they are not wearing their fall back to school clothes in August and September. let's just take a deep breath and realize we probably have more control than we think we do. We always think of school being so chaotic. But if our homes can be a place of piece of maybe some lowered expectations for everybody for a little while, that's going to help them at school more than anything. Probably that the teacher is going to do.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, Kathi, I'm so glad that you said that about lowered expectations because I feel like in this world, you know, we used to just have HDTV and everybody would just watch a TV show and see, you know, Better Homes and Garden magazine. But now we have all of these curated spaces in our face all the time on social media. And even I've seen that even worse since AI because there are all of these apps that are advertised to me saying, oh, let AI redecorate your home. Just take a picture and you know, you can have this beautiful space. And I remember when I was a younger mom feeling so much pressure like that my house had to look like that. And I remember continually going around and karate chopping all the pillows, you know, so they would have those little points on the end and look so perfect. And I remember my husband, who is, you know, brilliant, I mean he is. And I remember him tapping me on the shoulder saying, you do realize that people actually live here, right? Like this isn't a show home, this is a real home. And I think as moms especially, we take a lot of that pressure on ourselves that we feel like, we've got to make the house. Like, we've got to have, like, honey, get out the garage tools, because I need you to make me a cubby for all of the backpacks that I saw, on Pinterest. How do we resist that temptation? You know, and if you're gifted that way, great, you have it great. But how do we release ourselves of the pressure and lower that expectation?

>> Kathi Lipp: So I think the best thing we can do is look outward. So when we become too obsessed about what our home is like, and by the way, I love for my home to look beautiful. That makes me so happy, and I like to invest a little bit of that. But when we start to look towards what other people's expectations are, that's where we get it, twisted. So I want to come from a cris. Follower perspective that I want my home to be welcoming. I want it to be comfortable. And if it is too fussy or too fancy, that's a problem. And I think, especially in this month of back to school, instead of focusing on our homes and focusing on what level there is, what can we do instead? Maybe, your, your, your child's teacher needs a little help setting up their room. Go and put all of that energy into, say to your teacher, hey, I've got an hour, as I pick up my kid from school. Is there anything you would like me to do or any errands I could run for you?

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, my goodness. Kathi, hold that thought. Hold that thought because we're already at our first break. You see why we have the declutter diaries. We have so much to unlock unclutter in our minds, to unclutter in our lives. Listen, got a lot more to talk about. We'll talk about five spaces that you can prep right now for a successful uncluttered back to school journey with Kathi Lipp. See you in just a minute. Because of listeners like you, preborn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies. Your $28 to sponsor one ultrasound doubled a baby's chance at life. Your tax- deductible gift saves lives. Please join us in this life saving mission. To donate, go to preborn.com/AFR. Will you take a moment and celebrate life with me? Last year, preborn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies from abortion. Hi, this is Jessica Peck, host of the Dr. Nurse Mama Show. And I, want to thank you for your partnership. Think about what you did. 67,000 babies are taking their first breath now because of you. Your $28 sponsored one ultrasound that was given to a woman as she was deciding about the future of her child. Once she saw her precious baby for the first time and heard their sweet heartbeat, her baby's chance at life doubled. But preborn's mission is not only to rescue babies lives but also to lead women to Christ. Last year preborn network clinic saw 8,900 women receive salvation. Your help is crucial to continue their life saving work. Your caring tax- deductible donation saves lives. So please be generous. To donate go to preborn.com/AFR, that's preborn.com/AFR or dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250. Baby. Your love can save a life. Preborn's whole mission is to rescue babies from abortion and lead their families to Christ. Last year preborn's network of clinics saw 8,900 mothers come to Christ. Please join us in this life saving mission. To donate go to preborn.com/AFR. you.

>> Known by Tauren Wells: See right through the mess inside me and you call me out to pull me in? You tell me I can start again and I don't need to keep on hiding I'm fully known and loved by you? You won't let go no matter what I do and it's not one or the other it's hard truth and ridiculous grace to be known Fully known and loved by you. I'm fully known and loved by you.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is known by Tauren Wells. And as I listen to that song, I think about that in relation to the clutter in our homes. How many people know the real you? How is clutter impacting your life?

The Declutter Diaries tackles back to school clutter head on

We're back with another episode of the Declutter Diaries. This has quickly become one of my favorite days of the month because as Kathi Lipp and I were just talking, I'm telling you friends, this subject, it hits a nerve and it goes deep. And I feel like we talk about so many things on the show, but it's. But this has just elicited such a listener response. And today we're talking a little bit about back to school clutter, where we know that every parent on this planet knows that morning scramble, knows the search for the missing shoe, sometimes after you've gotten to school or the misplaced permission slip or the lunchbox that vanished overnight. These daily hiccups, they can seem small and really, you know, not that big of a deal, but somehow it's a flashpoint. It is a moment of irritation that we have. They drain time, they drain patience, they drain energy. And as back to school season is hitting full swing. We are unpacking strategies to tackle that school clutter monster. Really head on. From the entryway job zones to paper management hacks, we're going to give you some. Some practical tips.

Kathi says we use our stuff to signal to people how they should treat us

But before we get there, Kathi and I were just having a, really great conversation. I'm so sorry you all missed it. So let me recap it for you because it was really good. Kathi said something that made me stop in my tracks. She said this. She said, we use our stuff to signal to people how they should treat us. Now, how does this relate to clutter? I'm gonna tell a brief story, and then, Kathi, I'm gonna let you help us unpack this because I think about when I was a young mom, I went to go visit an elderly couple in our church. And I was really excited to go and visit them. I had all my kids dress up. You know, I wanted to make a good. And we got there and they sat on the couch and they had a new leather couch. And I had little kids, and they were. They were well behaved, but they were little kids and a little rambunctious. And the. The guests that were there were so worried that I was. That my kids were going to scratch the leather. So the whole visit was basically kind of just managing their. Making sure their shoes didn't go across the leather. And I thought I took their shoes off and all of this, like, it was just all about this leather couch. And I left there, Kathi, and I felt like about an inch tall. I felt so small. I felt so bad. I was wondering, like, did I control my kids well enough? And, and to this, this couple's credit that the mo. The. The lady did call me and she apologized because she felt so badly about how it had gone. And now I look at that and I. I didn't even make this connection until we were talking. But I look at my couch now, Kathi. My couch is, a little bit sad. It is, it has had plenty of spills. It has had plenty of teenagers spend the night on it. But you know what I love? I love that they can come in and they don't have to look at me and say, oh, do I have to sit prim and proper? Because that's how I want them to feel in my home. That's the life stage that I'm in. You know, that's just where I am at right now. I want them to come and flop on the couch and not worry like, oh, am I going to mess this up? Because it clearly Isn't that nice? But I want you to unpack this because you. This is really profound. We use our stuff to signal to people how they should treat us. Oh, unpack that for us.

>> Kathi Lipp: Well, first of all, I don't want anybody to feel judged by me for being excited about their new bag or, you know, last year it was the Stanley Cup. But we all remember going to school and having the thing, and that signaled we were part of something or we were not part of something. I'll never forget. Okay, this tells you what era I'm from. Right? Right. But I'll never forget having a satin blue baseball jacket. I think I was in fourth grade, and it signaled to the world that I could not be cooler. So we. We were firmly within the disco era at that point. That gives you a little indication. I'm firmly in Gen X. But. And I understand as, I still want to belong to people. And. And you think about it. It takes people a while to get to know you as a person, but it only takes a second to see that, you know, that necklace or that bag. I don't even know what the cool bags are. You know, when, you know, like, the last time I bought a cool bag, I think it was a Michael Kors. So I'm a little out of it, friends. But, yeah, we. It signals to people, oh, she gets it. It. She knows what's going on. And it takes a little bit for us to be comfortable in our own skin, to say, I don't need these outdoor, outside adornments to show you my value. Now, I still believe clothes tell you something about me. Clothes tell you, but it's not a status thing. It's about approachability. You know, it's really interesting. And I'll just say this, Jessica, for the longest time, people would say, say, come, you know, talk to me. And they would say things like, I knew you wouldn't judge me. I knew I could tell you. And I was like, what is it? You know, like, they don't even know me. Maybe I don't put my cart back at Target. Like, what? How do you know, Jessica? It's because. Let me be honest. It's because I struggle with my weight. Right? That has been. I was born at £10. It has literally been a lifetime struggle, and I've had some victory over it, but people immediately said, oh, she'll be more accepting of me. Now, I am not suggesting you gain a bunch of weight so people will connect with you better. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm just saying our outsides often signal who we. It gives people their first assumptions about us. And lots of times we don't feel confident in ourselves. So we're buying things to give that first impression. And part of maturity is saying, you know what? I'm going to express who I am by my smile, by my kind words, by, you know, dressing in a way that makes me more approachable, not more impressive.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Kathi that's so. I just appreciate the authenticity and the braveness you have in saying this and just inviting us and just us having this conversation. I think it's so freeing for so many people and, to say that. And I want to echo what you're saying too. It's not wrong to have nice things. It's not wrong to value craftsmanship. I know. You know, my son is really into nice watches. Like he just as fascinated with the craftsmanship of it. That's not wrong. Where it's wrong is when you start to go into debt or you rely on those things to, to convey your value, where you're more worried and invested in those outer signals than you are the inner signals. And bringing this back to the back to school thing, I think that that is what we do a lot of times, even around back to school, because I do, I start to see all of these things where you can build this, you know, Pinterest worthy way where you have, you know, all of this organization system or whatever it is. And then even when we're going into school, you know, as moms, we're looking at the kids who have the backpack that's all organized and they get out the color coded folder and then we see the kids who have, you know, are rolling in looking like, what's the guy? A, pigpen from the Peanuts. Like he's coming with a dust cloud behind him. Right? And, and you know, the, the papers are all crumpled in the backpack and the lunchboxes, you know, just all a mess and everything. I think as moms, like, we can jud each other and we want our kids to be that, that picture perfect student. And that is a really good time for a heart check for us. And so I just, I thank you for bringing that to us. Kathi.

>> Kathi Lipp: Well, I, you know, I think that we as moms also try to signal to other parents we're doing okay. Our kids have the right backpack, our kids have the right bento box, our kids have the right water thermos, and, and sometimes those things are the right thing for your child, but oftentimes are we doing it to impress or to equip. That's the question. And so I want to make sure that my child is equipped with what they need in order to be a successful student, to be a successful learner. And color coordination can only take you so far, and it's probably actually not going to take you far at all. Let's be honest. Honest.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: It's so true. And you know, I, I remember that very clearly, you know, early as a mom. I remember going to one of the, the parties and, you know, it was early in the morning and I was like, barely making it because, you know, I had four kids and just about five years and it was all that I could do sometimes to get everybody where they need to go. And then you go and you see these moms who like, have already been to the gym and they've got like this little smoothie that seems really mystical and, and some sort of, you know, cup that I'm m thinking like, gosh, I think I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was out on the table from last night. Like, that's just what I grabbed going out the door. You know, sometimes those things can really get in our heads. And I love what you just said, Kathi. I love it. I want to say it again to he make sure our listeners hear that. Are you dressing your kids to impress others and back to school, or are you equipping them to be a successful student and what they need, what they're going to be comfortable in, what's going to best equip them? I think that's such a great, a great message of hope and, and you, you are going to give us five spaces that we can start to think about when we think about this back to school, what are the five spaces that we can start to focus on thinking about all of these principles we've been talking about thinking about, you know, just making sure that we are, have the right heart, the right mindset. What are the five spaces to look at?

>> Kathi Lipp: So first of all, what are your kids going to do with their backpacks? So let's talk about a backpack drops zone. Is this going to be by the front door? Is there a, space, maybe in you know, the kitchen? Where are you going to put that? So everybody knows every night and every day where those backpacks are going to go. Now maybe your child wants to take the backpack to the room so that they can, you know, they're going through all their stuff to do homework. Fine. But let's make sure that it, after homework is done. That is out where everybody knows where it's going to be. Also, if I, as the parent, want to put things in backpacks, I don't have to go hunting it down. So maybe you need some hooks, maybe you need some baskets. But just know the status of your family and follow accordingly. So that's the first spot. number two, what's the lunch strategy? Right, so maybe, you know, we. We were talking about this over in our Clutter Free academy group the other day. There's one mom, she does, she makes five sandwiches for her kid, at the beginning of the week and sticks them in the freezer. And her kid is fine with that. That's awesome. Maybe your child's a little bit more, you know, of the moment and is taking a bento box and you're packing that. But having a strategy, getting, you know, serving your kids and saying, okay, what are things that we can eat on the repeat that you're actually going to eat? So is it carrots with a little bit of ranch dip? Is it, ah, do you want rice with a little bit of chicken? We can do that. We can do that for a week. Think about those things. number three, a labeling station. So at. At the beginning of the school year, you need to be labeling so many things now. Not the stuff your kids are t taking to school to share. We don't label that. We are part of a community. We donate to the community. That's what we do. But your jacket, your lunchbox, your. Your folder, your binder, your backpack. So, having a couple of things set up. Maybe having a labeling machine. You can also order fabric labels off of Amazon. That would be a great place, too. number four, clothing. Check, check. I want you to get into the closet. What still fits, what needs to be passed on? Super simple. And then number five, what are you doing for a family calendar? How are you getting that all synchronized so everybody knows? Because mom isn't the only one who needs to know everybody's calendar. We all need to be responsible for everybody's calendar and knowing what we're doing. So those are the five places I would like you to think through before the school year. And if you're like, that's too much, I don't know. I've got we over in Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy. Over in Facebook. We're next week, we're doing a challenge for all five of these areas. So come join us over there. We're going to get you set up for school.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Join. If you have been Thinking every time Kathy's been on, oh, I need to do that. But you just haven't done it. This is your sign because these are things that are really, really important and foundational. And Kathi, what I see is a lot of these things are where the family fight lights happen, when you don't have. When you can't find the backpack in the morning or you've left your, you know, you opened your backpack and the folders on the dining room table, but the paper to sign is in your room and the book is in the living room. All of those things. Then you're going to start yelling at your kids during the day. Come on, go. Go get it. Go pick it up. Lunch is also such a mom guilt thing we do. Now, some of you are really gifted, and if you are gifted, and that is your gift, if you are a chef or you, you're just really good at it, great. Bless your kids in that way. We can all bless our kids in unique ways from our gifting. So by all means, please do that and make the lunch for your neighbor's kids, too. I'm sure that's a great way to make friends, but it is. Okay. so I had to learn this, Kathi, that it's okay for my kids to eat the same thing every day. It was a nutritious lunch. And I just put the bins in the fridge and they could just, you know, pull it right out and put it in their back in their lunchbox and go. I think that's so great. Supply labeling station, clothing check and family calendar sync.

We're already at our second break and I have still so many more questions

And my goodness, Kathi, we're already at our second break and I have still so many more questions, but when we come back, I want to talk about a few more things. First of all, you're going to tell us about teaching habits that build adults so not doing everything for kids. I think this is really important conversation to have in back to school because I see so many parents who are doing everything and then. And I remember my daughter telling me as a senior in high school that her friend's mom made her lunch every single day. And she's like, what are you gonna do when she goes to college? And she said, I have no idea. So we'll talk about how we can do that. We'll tell you some quick wins and what to let go. And Kathi, I want to go back to ask you about over buying some of these things that we need for organization or we think we need. We'll have much more with Kathi Lipp when we come back. Back. Go over to Facebook and find Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy. Her name is K A T H I L I P P Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy and start your decluttering journey today. We'll see you in just a minute right after this break.

American Family Association's mission is to strengthen the moral foundations of our culture

The American Family Association's mission is to inform, equip and activate individuals to strengthen the moral foundations of our culture. We also support the church. Our goal is to be a leading organization in biblical worldview training for cultural transformation. AFA aims to evangelize the lost and disciple the believer. We aim to strengthen biblical marriages and equip parents to raise godly children. Thank you for standing with the American Family Association. When you hear this, this is American Family News. You know, what follows is the truth. Your news from a Christian perspective. Hundreds of, teachers are going to have to walk into that school building and they are forced to swallow political ideology that in many cases violates their very faith and conscience. If you miss it at the top of the hour, American Family News podcasts are available at afn.net and sign up for our daily news brief at afn.net.

>> Fight On My Knees by Evan Craft: You might not know it, but somebody's been praying for this very moment. Feels like a whisper but in heaven it's loud. Don't give up don't give up on the ones you love oh, just a little faith is enough help me to remember my help comes from heaven. God, when I surrender I find all I need Strength in every weakness in the name of Jesus always.

Are you fighting clutter today? When our homes are overrun with stuff

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Fight on My Knees by Evan Craft. And hey, I got a question for you. Are you fighting clutter today? When our homes are overrun with stuff, our schedules usually are two. We live in over scheduled, oversupplied lives many times. And the mental load of managing all of those piles of stuff just robs us of quality time with our kids. But here is the good news. Decluttering isn't just about cleaning. It's about reclaiming moments. And today we are having another episode of the Declutter Diaries. Talking with my friend Kathi Lipp. Go over to Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy, on Facebook. You can join that for free and, and take the challenge that she's going to have for next week. And back to school. She is sharing, as always, some practical tips, but more importantly, heart level encouragement for creating a home environment where connection thrives and stress drops and everyone can breathe a little easier, which is what we all want. We've talked about the five spaces you can prep. Just looking at that backpack drop zone, a lunch Plan strategy, a supply labeling station, clothing checks, and a family calendar. You can do all of those kinds of things.

Jessica: Kathi, give us some guidance on over buying and aspirational clutter

And Kathi, before the break, I said that I was going to ask you, just, one more time for a little perspective on over buying. Because I do this too in going back to school. I mean, I have, I could probably start my own school because I came from a place where I did not have those things that I needed. I was that student who was sitting in class thinking, I, feel like I'm going to be so embarrassed. I've got to ask my friend to give me paper or a pencil or whatever it is that I need that I didn't have. So I tend to over buy for my kids. And we also buy things in addition to over buying. We buy things that we think we're going to use. I actually, I did a little, digging after the last conversation we had and I found some articles calling it aspirational clutter. Like things that projects that we think, oh, I'm going to do that, or, oh, this is what our after school, you know, snack system is going to look like. Like, but it never works. So how do we reset our hearts? Give us some, some guidance on over buying and aspirational clutter in this back to school chaos.

>> Kathi Lipp: Okay, can we just say us cluttery people, we love to buy a solution, right? Me, I love to buy a solution. Yeah, I know it. I.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: For a problem I may not have.

>> Kathi Lipp: Jessica. Yes. Yeah, you're exactly. I'm pointing one finger at you and four back at me. So let's just know that. Right? And so my thought is a couple of things. buy what you know, they will need. So if it's uniforms, you know, is three uniforms enough, you know, so that you can have, you know, so you have time to do laundry and things like that, or. And if you are in a couple of weeks and you're like, I think we need a little bit more, then you can go buy that. But feel the need before you just feel the need to buy something, I want you to feel the need, feel that lack, right? And then also us cluttery people, here's the thing I know about us. One, we can shop. And two, we are the most generous people in the world. So if you are worried about, there not being enough paper, because Jessica, I, you know, my dad was unemployed most of my childhood, so I, I feel that need for security and having enough. Even though my mom did, she was amazing at making sure that we did what we, you know, had what we needed as best as she could. But you know what? Your child will probably be okay because you know that they're going to be well equipped. But there are other kids in that class who are not. So could you buy a couple of reams of paper for the teacher in the classroom and say whether you want to give this to all the kids or you know, some kids who have a need, I just want to make sure every child in here feels secure with what they need. So. And it's not. I mean, here's the thing. I don't want you buying the good pencils for your kid and then donating the others. Like, let's, let's make sure that the kids in the classroom have what they need. So if you are an over buyer, donate some of that because there is some kid who really does need it.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That's such a great word. I mean, can you imagine going to the teacher and saying, hey, what needs do you have for your classroom? And then looking at your oversupply and instead of it just sitting, collecting dust, just giving you comfort that you have it just in case, Which I have just in case. I'll tell you, Kathi, I mean, one of my sons cannot even use all of his closet because I just have all of these school supplies that just have accumulated over the years. I'm really convicted. I'm going to take care of that, this month. I really am. But it does, it comes from that place of feeling like I don't have it. And I love that you said that people who have clutter are generous. Because that is true. Because we know a lot of times, I think, what it's like not to have something and it gives you so much joy to be like, oh, there's a need. Oh, you need, you're here and you need a toothbrush. Guess what? I have a brand new one and I can give it to you. Just. It gives me such joy to do that, but I think I can do that in moderation. Well, let's, let's talk a little bit, Kathi, about teaching habits that build adults going from control to coaching and how that can help us with our clutter too.

>> Kathi Lipp: Yes. So we, I, I may have told this story on here before, but I'm. It's worth repeating. When my daughter went to college for the first time, I, I asked, you know, I checked in with her, of course, every day I'm checking with her multiple times. She goes, I cannot believe my dorm mates. I said, well, what do you mean? What's going on? They said, she said none of them know how to do lawn laundry. I'm like, what? I don't even understand that. And, she had to learn to do laundry from a young age because, you know, she was, she had two households because her dad and I were divorced. And if she wanted clean clothes on the regular at her dad, she had to do them. And I just realized, you know, we are raising adults, we are not raising kids. We are raising kids to become adults. So we want to shift from control to coaches, coaching. So we want to raise these confident, responsible adults. And so it's easy. When kids are little, especially, you know, we're talking preschool, kindergarten. We need to micromanage some of it because they don't know this is their first time being humans and we need to help them out. But once we get, we can move from micromanagement to systems. And systems let kids be kids in that system, but also give them some guard rails. So things like I, we had a habit of every time I would pick up my kids, they would empty out anything in their backpack that either they needed to meet me to see or to sign and they would throw it up on the front seat next to me. Or things that need to be thrown away. Like, we don't need to keep the orange slices in a Ziploc bag in our backpack overnight. Right? Like, we can get rid of that. So to, to really get into that habit where after a while they weren't fighting me anymore, I would put on music and they would go through it. I'm like, you're either going to have to do this now or you're going to have to miss out on computer time when we get home. So they were, they were very motivated in the car, then packing the lunch the night before. And so if you have, have it easy so that it's very easy, grab and go, that they can dump out their, their lunch boxes and they can fill them with a couple of nutritional things and a couple of things that they're going to love. And they have, some autonomy, but you're giving them choices about what they can do. And we say, okay, we're going to do two healthy things and we're going to do a treat and a drink. What are you going to choose? Shoes. And so giving them the options within limited parameters. And the other thing that I'm a big believer in is picking out clothes the night before. And it's something I still struggle with. Here I am, like I said, Gen X. But when I pick I, I before I go to bed. I say, kathy, if you pick out your clothes the night before, if you pick them out before you crawl into bed, it's going to make your day 7% better. Better. Why wouldn't I want my day to be 7% better? We don't want to teach our kids that their motivation in the morning is panic. We want them to have a smooth entry into school.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That is so convicting, Kathi, because, I feel that I know that morning panic. You know, where you're looking for the shoe, you're looking for the sports uniform seem to be the worst. Like, where is the shin guard? You know, because we didn't have, have a system, I just wasn't, I didn't feel equipped at the time to do that. And I was just flying by the seat of my pants. But, you know, looking at it, I thought, oh, it's too much effort to invest in that system. But then I look at all of the effort that, that was being taken from me. That was really out of my control, trying to manage the chaos that emerged. And you have got some brilliant tips that are quick wins. So for those families who think, yeah, that's us, we are on the struggle bus every morning. We're looking for, you know, something and somebody's griping at somebody and somebody's out in the, in the driveway honking the horn or saying the bus is here or whatever it is. You have some ideas for some quick wins and some things to let go.

>> Kathi Lipp: Okay, so we're going to go through this really, really quickly. if you have not started school yet, each family member can you get rid of three things daily for the next 10 days until school starts, especially in high traffic areas. So maybe that's where the back backpacks get dropped. Or maybe mom and dad are working in the kitchen and the kids are saying, you know what? I'm trying on the clothes in the laundry room that don't fit me anymore, and we're going to donate those. Getting rid of those things, what you're doing is you're lowering the barrier to being on top of things. an emergency breakfast basket. What if a couple of mornings a week, because we had kids who had to be at opposite schools at the same time. Ah, on a couple of days a week, maybe that is the day where it's, it's granola bars and shelf stable milk. It's, it's those fruit pouches and you know, something, you know, a, you know, a treat like jar of coffee or something like that. Just a couple of quick wins and then we're going to let go of Pinterest right now. you are not performing for anybody in your house. Okay. Pinterest could be great about, time saving ideas, but oftentimes Pinterest is about spending more time for the illusion of time. We're going to let go of all of that.

Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy helps you declutter your home

All right, so we're going to talk about all of this. I, thank you for mentioning the challenge over in Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy group, because we really want to help you get on top of this. We, it's a free group and it's, we're going to get you some check marks. We want some easy wins for you.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And you have had a lot of our listeners join. So you are not alone. I don't want you to think, if you're listening. Yeah, that, oh, it's just me. This is my problem. No, let me tell you. We, I am on the struggle bus with you and there are so many people finding help and hope through this. And Kathi, those are great things. And that, that's really something that was very helpful to me. I had an emergency go pack in the back of my car. And it had things like a Tide stick, it had a water bottle. It had like something that was, you know, would, would stay in the car that they could eat for lunch, like a Power bar or something like that. it had a pen and some paper, just like some of those things that I felt like I would need a hairbrush in case I turned around and looked. And you know, during those elementary school days, you think you did your teeth. I had some like, little toothbrushes so that I wouldn't. Yes, yes, yes. So that I wouldn't turn around and say, oh, my gosh, and do I have to go home and what am I going to do? But just having that emergency bag and saying, okay, this is what it is. And maybe, you know, this isn't what you would like to have for lunch. Maybe that will be motivation for you to not forget your lunch tomorrow. Because again, what you're talking about is so important in helping set our kids up for success. Well, I think again, Kathi, you give us such encouragement because you have some, you have some encouraging messages to leave us with. Because I think sometimes, you know, we get all energized and we think, okay, yes, I'm going to do the back to school. You can't do it perfectly, but we can do it well. So what is your final word of encouragement?

>> Kathi Lipp: You don't have to do this all in one weekend, right? You're building systems.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Amen.

>> Kathi Lipp: Not stress. And, I think that's the thing I'm going to leave you to take away with this. Don't. This is a process, and you're going to learn more each and every year. So know your family, know yourself, and know what's going to support your family.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That is so great. And it's, again, it's not about being perfect. It's about being healthy. What works for your family? What, realistically, what life stage are you in? What are your kids, temperaments? What are their. What are their. What is it like? I mean, I know, Kathi, when my boys were really involved in sports, like, I just knew my car was going to be messy. Like, that's just the way that it was going to be. I was going to be constantly working on, you know, grass stains on baseball pants and all of those things. But it was okay. It's not about our stuff. It's about the people who are in our house. And so thank you, Kathi, again, for this episode of the Declutter Diaries. Stay tuned. Next month will continue because I have a lot more in my life to declutter, and one of the first things is getting rid of those boxes of toilet paper in my garage. And, Kathi, you talked about your satin jacket. For me, it was saddle shoes. Anybody remember saddle shoes? And a leather bomber jacket. Now, that has come back around, and my kids think my clothes are cool all of a sudden, so that didn't help me get rid of them. But listen, wherever you are in your clutter journey, I hope that you find your way over to Kathi Lip's Clutter Free Academy. And I hope and pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you and give you peace even in the middle of clutter. We'll see you tomorrow.

>> Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.