Transcript

American Family Radio takes your Bible questions live on American Family Radio

>> Jeff Chamblee: The Bible. It's the word of God. Sharper than any two edged sword. This sacred book is living and active and contains all that's needed for life and godliness. Stay with American Family Radio for the next hour as we study God's word and take your Bible questions.

Alex McFarland and Bert Harper talk about family on Exploring the Word

Welcome to Exploring the Word.

>> Alex McFarland: You know, it's been observed that before God instituted, civil government, and before God instituted even the church, in the beginning, God built a family. We're going to talk about family and we welcome you to Exploring the Word. This is Alex McFarland along with Bert Harper. And you know, Bert, we, not too many weeks ago had Mother's Day. Praise the Lord. We love to honor our mothers. in the month of June, every year is Father's Day and how important that is.

Alex Martin: I want to talk about family and our parents

I want to talk about family and our parents. And I think about in Ephesians, chapter six, it says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. I want to talk about the reasons that we should love our parents. And Bert, one thing about it, regardless of who it is, where we are, every human being, for good or not so good, for joy or despair. But we all are part of families, aren't we? And family is such a vital, important part of every society.

>> Bert Harper: We are. When God sent his son to the earth in the incarnation, he sent him to the family. And, I think that shows you how important this is, that, that when God was invading our territory in his humanity, he put him as a part of the family. And we also know not only Joseph and Mary, but we know Jesus had four brothers and at least two sisters. So we know there was at least seven in that family and he was the oldest. So, we owe a lot to our parents. And, with some that means a lot to overcome. And with others it means we have such a blessing. I'm not going to say we got a lot to live up to, but we've got a lot to be thankful for when we have a godly father and a godly mother. But again, Alex, the family was God's idea. And when man starts trying to, I'm going to use the word, tinker with it, man's going to mess it up. God's idea was a husband and wife and then children. And those, husband and wife becomes mom and dad. God's plan was good.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen. Amen. Well, you know the famous Irish, playwright, social critic, intellectual, George Bernard Shaw, he said, a happy family is but an early heaven. And I think about that and, so many memories about family that I cherish in my heart. certainly wasn't perfect. But you know, folks, the Bible does tell us, and I'm going to refer back in just a moment to Ephesians 6 about loving our parents and honoring our parents. Look, we're living in a time that is unique to America, really unique to the Western world where, ah, childbearing is down. many people really, don't see the value of marriage anymore. And, the stock of family is, sinking in some quarters. But I want to submit that there are many biblical reasons that we are to love our parents, we are to care about family, invest in family, and irrespective of, like you said, Bert, personal and societal failures, family is still immeasurably significant in the eyes of God. and, Bert, I'll just say this. You and I, we're in ministry. We're in broadcasting, we're in writing and publishing. we're every day. I know you and, and I am with you. We are living for the Great Commission, national revival, the spiritual battle of our times. We're all about it. But I'll just say this. give us godly families and America's future is secure. as goes the family, so goes the nation.

>> Bert Harper: Amen. One of my favorite authors, and he is, I wouldn't say obscure, but he's not one of those that everybody talks about. Allen Redpath. And, and let me just suggest, anyone that's looking for some books that would bless their lives, if you find one by Allen Redpath, buy it and read it. but Allen Redpath said, no church is any stronger than the families that make it up. And that is so true. So the church, not only just the nation, but the church, ah, you know, you travel a lot and speak in conferences and in churches. And I do interim work. That means I supply for a church while they're looking for another senior pastor. And, so. And then I do revivals, family revivals. I'll do conferences as well. And I just want to tell you, the healthiest churches are those that I hear babies crying. I hear some children, that are, you know, having to be taken out because, they're, you know, that's all right. and I love it. If you've ever been to a church where, there were no children and no young people, I just want to tell you there's something lacking. So God wants families. And, so I'm here to tell you. Let me just testify a Minute. Okay. I'm the youngest of nine. I had six sisters and two brothers. And, I had two nieces that were older than me. And, when I was in the second grade, my oldest niece was in the sixth grade in the same elementary school. And she'd go around calling me Uncle Bert. Now, I just want to tell you that didn't fit well with a second grader with her two front teeth missing, Alex. But I just want to tell you, when I think of my childhood and, the joy of it, I was raised on a farm and my mom and dad there and my, siblings, and what a joy it was. So I, I just want to say it's been a joy to be from that family. And then God blessed me with Jan. And then God gave us three sons and, and now we're, we're, we have five, three grand, three daughter in laws and five grandchildren and one grandchild on the way. So we're excited about family. And Alex, I know you are too, because, man, the joy that you had with your parents, but also your grandparents. So I just want to go back and say, listen, grandparents, you have a position of influence at beyond measure. And Alex, I know that was true with you, with your grandmothers.

>> Alex McFarland: Well, I was very blessed to, as far as we're aware, as far as we know, just any direction you look, born again Christians on my mother's side, on my dad's side, I give God the glory.

Neil says he comes from a long line of believers

And I want to get to Ephesians 6. But I got to tell you, Bert, in the 1970s, we passionately loved this show called the Waltons. Now, folks, if you don't know about that program, seek it out. It is a great piece of American television, the Waltons. But every night at the end of the show, they would say, good night, we Mom. Good night, dad. Good night, Granddaddy. Good night. I mean, that's how it was.

>> Bert Harper: You got to get this one in. Good night, John Boy.

>> Alex McFarland: Good night, John Boy. And see, we thought everybody lived that way because we had, the grandparents in the house. Now, my dad's dad, Neil Senior. Neil. I'm Neil a. The third. he died when I was two and a half years old, believe it or not. Believe it or not. I remember my grandfather and I remember, lying on his chest and he holding me. And somebody, said, you were just two and a half. You cannot remember that. But I actually, I really honestly do. But you know what? as I would drive the truck, we had an egg farm. And, I, I Got my driver's license at age 16. And I drove a delivery route that night, Bert. I really did. But, you know, it was such a blessing to me because while I, I have a vague memory of my grandfather, I, didn't know him, but people would come up to me along the route and they said, you must be Neil Jr's son. I knew your granddaddy, Neil Sr. He was a godly man. He used to pray with people. He would drive that truck and he would pray with people. And I, I never knew that. And I, I did know my grandmother's really well. But here's the thing. Like Psalm 16, verse 6 says this, and I hope this is your case, folks. Psalm 16, verse 6 says, the boundary lines have fallen unto me in pleasant places. Yea, I have a godly heritage, in, in the sovereignty of God. Far as I know, I do come from a long line of believers, and so does Angie. But maybe, folks, you might be listening, you think, well, I, I don't know that I have such a godly heritage. I want to, in, in these points that we're going to share, I want to submit to you that, our family is what it is, and we're to acknowledge that God sovereignly allowed us to be born where we are. And even if, if your family journey has some things you would just as soon forget with your life, a new day can begin. You can turn the page. And one of the things that is very beautiful, Bert, I think in the Christian journey is not only do we get saved and personally we invite the Lord Jesus into our life, but then as a steward, a steward of our time, a steward of our relationships, a steward of our influence, and yes, a steward of our marriage and our family and our future. What we can purpose in our heart is that we will begin to build a godly legacy. don't you think not only we have that opportunity, but frankly, I think we have that privilege.

>> Bert Harper: Amen, Alex.

Every family is dysfunctional to a degree because there's no one perfect

And that's what we want to say to those of you who come from a background that's not so good. I want to just tell you, everybody, every family is dysfunctional to a degree because there's no one that is perfect. Not a, not a mom, not a dad. And they may have been great, and they may have been awesome. Out of a scale from, from 1 to 10, they may have been 9.9, but they like that one point. And, so there's some dysfunction. But if there's of you that are severely dysfunctional, Alex said, turn the page. I just want to tell you, you start from where you are, you cannot go back. you don't get a mulligan on this one. You start where you are. And I want to just tell you, God is the one who can restore the years that the. That the locusts have eaten. God says he will restore, and he really will. So I just want to encourage. We have people call in many times. I say, you know, we're in a divorce. we're in a family that's having difficulty. Well, there's not a family that doesn't have difficulty. But I want to tell you, you've got the architect of marriage. You have the one that can build your marriage, and you have the one that. That can help your marriage. And. And if you know Jesus Christ as savior. So, Alex, I think this. 10 reasons to love your parents. If we have people out there, it's hard to love them. If you only knew what they did. I, I want to do this. Hey, how about becoming the parent or the grandparent that your next generation could say, man, thank God for them. Alex, we want this to help people and strengthen them, don't we?

>> Alex McFarland: We do. We do. read Ephesians 6, 1:14. I mentioned it earlier, but it says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise quote that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land it goes on. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Reason number one, why love your parents? Because the word of God tells us to. After this, we'll elaborate more, won't we?

>> Bert Harper: We will. And we want you to stay tuned. We want this to bless you, and we hope it will encourage you.

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Alex and Bert discuss 10 reasons to love your parents ahead of Father's Day

>> Jeff Chamblee: Welcome back to Exploring the word on American family radio.

>> Alex McFarland: As we go, let us make disciples. As we go, let us tell the world of Christ. Welcome back to Exploring the Word. Alex and Bert here, so honored that you're listening. And, we're talking about 10 reasons to love your parents. And, Bert, this is kind of falling in. In between Mother's day and Father's day, two very special days. And let me encourage you, maybe if your parents are not living, just use that time to reflect and pray and seek God's direction about how to be the family member or. Or the parent that, you can best be for God's glory if your parents are living. What a blessing. What a blessing that is. and on Father's Day, as it approaches, and we'll talk more about this, but, you know, make that phone call or go for that visit and let your dad know that you love him and you're grateful for him. Because, Bert, you know, here's one. One thing I've learned, not only in the lives of my own parents, but in ministering to people, pastoring, traveling, speaking. Look, we should show grace because we all need grace. And I know, I've heard so people say, well, this and that happened. You know, everybody is going through things that we don't realize. And, you know, where there's overt sin, I mean, yes, it needs to be dealt with, but I really do think 99% of the parents have tried their best. Look, they're trying to put food on the table, get the bills paid, keep the wolf away from the door. And I don't know, I guess for lack of a better, better word, I'm going to say the longer I live, the more I've counseled people. I'll say, you know, cut them a break, show them a little bit of grace. Because adult life, weighs pretty heavy on all of our shoulders, doesn't it, Bert?

>> Bert Harper: It really does. And, again, there's a lot of guilt involved in parenting, because I just want to tell you, you can do what you think is best. And, listen, Alex, it's by faith. You know, without faith, it is impossible. To please God. So parenting is a faith journey. And, I heard someone say that it's not a science. It's more of an art. And, I agree. You know, two plus two. I love math, and I majored in math my first two years in college because, man, you know, there's so many exceptions in the English language. I sure couldn't keep up with all of them. So I sure didn't major in English. And, I couldn't enunciate a lot of words like annunciate. But math, two plus two was four. You know, five times five was 25. Now, that's a science. But art is, you know, if you were having a canvas and you made a mistake, guess what you can do out of that mistake? You can create a whole piece of new material, make it look part of the picture. And so I would say those of you that are parenting and trying to parent, and also those that had parents, some were better artists than others. Okay.

>> Alex McFarland: Right.

>> Bert Harper: they could paint the picture, and when they had that mistake, they could do it. But let me just say, for those parents that are listening, admit your mistakes and don't justify. When we make a mistake or we sin, we either justify or confess one or the other. And when it's bad and it's wrong, confess it. Get it right. And like you said, those of you that have anger toward your parents, I just want to tell you, give it up. it leads to anger, it leads to bitterness, it leads to depression. And, so you don't want to go through life that way. And I want to just tell you, God can help you overcome your feelings of anger, depression. And you may need to get some counseling and help on that. I've. I've helped a lot of people suggesting they go somewhere and helped others just by giving some advice. But, Alex. Yes. Thank God for parents. Thank God for the family.

The Bible says to honor your father and mother on Mother's Day

And on this day that you're hearing this, between Mother's Day and Father's Day, I want to go back to where we started. God knew what he was doing in the Garden of Eden. Eden, when he made Adam and Eve.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen. Amen. You know, number one, to love your parents. Think about this nine times. The Bible says, honor your father and mother. I mean, in ancient cultures, to dishonor or curse your parents was a crime. And so when the Lord listed it within the ten Commandments, honor your father and mother. I mean, this honor of parents is equal in God's eyes to justice and morality and holiness. And this doesn't mean you're agreeing with everything, but, yes, because, Bert, just sovereignly, there are some things about life that God in his wisdom, laid out. You know, when we were born, to whom we were born, our gender, there's some things we cannot change. And somehow, some way, maybe we'll only fully understand it once we get to heaven. God. God allowed us to be born into the family that we were born into. And honestly, showing deference and respect and honor to your father and mother is essentially saying, you know, God, I'm gonna trust you for how my life came about and the gift of life. Secondly, let me just say this. Honor your father and mother. Love your parents, because God, through your parents, your parents conceived you, your mother carried you. Your, parents, under God, gave you that most important gift, the gift of life or existence. And so, Bert, it's very counterproductive and very negative to dishonor or essentially curse the vehicle by which you were brought into this world, and that was your parents. And, again, look, most families, praise God, have wonderful characteristics, happy memories. That's great. You and I have both counseled many, many people who have painful memories and things like that. Loving your parents and honoring your parents is one of the healthiest things you can do. You, and I had a caller easily six or more months ago, and you and I were on Exploring the Word, and we were counseling a caller to move past the past. And I'll never forget, the caller said, essentially, so just forget it. Just say this stuff wasn't wrong. And we were saying, no, wrong is wrong. But in a way, Bert, I want to say this. I'll throw it to you. When we forgive and we just lay some things in the hands of a sovereign God, and we're willing to show grace and move on, that's almost like cleaning a wound. You know, in medicine, they say one of the keys to healing is that the infection needs to go to clean the wound, and then it can heal. And I think it's that way in our heart. I mean, just to constantly stew and ruminate in the past, it's really not helping anything. And to pray, put it in God's hands, show grace and move on. and realize that, hey, mom and dad, they gave me life, and I thank God for that. That's a healthy place that maybe even some listeners today need to get to.

>> Bert Harper: It's not only not helping, unforgiveness hurts. And I, know. And here I've heard it, you don't know what it was like, you know, what they did. I agree with that. I do not know. But I do know what bitterness and unforgiveness does. And the two things that really causes bitterness, anger and so much depression is one, broken, unhealed relationships. I just want to tell you those. We were made for relationships. That's the reason we. When a mother carries that baby, there's an interchange. There, there's an interchange that through science they've been able to understand that the mother is able to carry some of that baby's. I don't know all that it is, but it's in her system and they're tied. God just made it that way. And so God wants this, and he desires this to don't let a broken relationship that was harmful, painful, and understand that it can be that way. But understand it is really harming you. And, you overcome it. That's the reason God gave you the capacity, as you said, Alex, to move on. Now, how do you do it? I don't think you forget it, but you do not have to harbor on it. You don't have to just continually dwell on it. Be an overcomer. And you can do that through Jesus Christ.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen. Amen. thirdly, love your parents. Why? Because you're indebted to them. All right, let's be honest. none of us really can fully understand how much our parents sacrificed to birth us and raise us. And you know, mom and dad fed us, changed our diapers. You know, only God knows, regarding our mothers and fathers, how many of their personal plans and our personal diapers they changed for us, the sleep they lost, the money they spent, they subordinated the. Their plans for our needs. And really, I mean, the debt we owe our parents is really a sacred thing. And maybe you've been a parent and maybe you feel like it's kind of a thankless job, but, you know, Bert, I kind of despair of myself. And back when I was just an arrogant punk and thought I knew everything. And, But I look back and I thank God. I thank God for all that my parents did for my sister and me. And, I don't know. It's the right thing to, as. As you grow and as you learn to amend your life in light of the truth God reveals to you.

>> Bert Harper: Amen.

Alex McFarland: We should love our parents, uh, number four

>> Alex McFarland: The longer I live, the more the Lord has impressed on me how indebted I am to my family. And frankly, I've got a responsibility. Listen, I. I live for God's glory. I don't care that anybody knows my name, but I do care that everybody hears the name of Jesus. But I will say this. You know, we're not much a farm family from rural North Carolina, but at this point in my life, I've got the McFarland family that I represent and far as I know, great granddaddy, Granddaddy and daddy were godly people. Now it's my time to try to be the godly role model. And so I want to say to everybody, you carry the name of Jesus. I hope you carry your family name. The Lord has entrusted to you a measure of influence and reputation. you are to steward that in a godly way. love your parents, love your family, be the right person because you're indebted to your family.

>> Bert Harper: And Alex, I want to go a little, a little, I'd say a branch off of that. Many times some of them are out there and they're single parents. Dr. Dobson said he didn't know of any more difficult job on earth than being a single parent. my mother in law was a single parent because of, of desertion and my wife raised in that. But I want to just tell you what a great woman she was and the respect that she garnered because of her steadfastness, prayers, doing what was right. And so I just want to say those of you that were raised by single parent, maybe because of divorce, could have been because of death. And that single parent mom or dad that stepped up and did this, I'm just going to add to it. I think there's extra honor there, Alex. you know, that they would stay with the stuff and not give up, but stay in there as a, as a parent and do the job. The indebtedness toward them I, think is manifold. And so thank God for those people that were single parents and they stayed with those children and, and strengthened them and helped them. The indebtedness is deep when it's like that.

>> Alex McFarland: You know, Proverbs 31, 31, speaking of the moms, Proverbs 31, 31 says, honor her for all that her hands have done and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. And so thank God for our parents and let's do what we can to honor them. Another reason that, we should love our parents, number four. Okay. Love and respect are character traits that God expects us each to develop personally and in our homes. And so respect and character really begins with those closest to us. I've known a lot of people that would, show a lot of respect and praise to their friends or their co workers. But they would trash their parents or family members and that's not right. I mean, it's great to have friends and acquaintances that we appreciate and we brag on, but our closest relationships are our parent relationships, sibling relationships, family members and of course spouse and hey, love and respect and affirmation, let it begin in the home.

>> Bert Harper: Amen. And it's the position now, again, this is a poor illustration, but a police officer, a law enforcement officer, if they pull you over and they're morally corrupt there are just beyond measure, you still respect that position. And again, I know I'm coming from this and trying to put it together in a whole way, but we are to respect their position. And when they have done things that are harmful and difficult and hard, I understand the heartache of that, but yet the Bible talks about their position. So you honor that position when you cannot honor their quality and character. So Alex, that's a fine line, but it can be done. I've seen it done.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen. Let me say this. We're to love our parents number five, because people are watching, you know, I mean really for good or for ill. we are somebody's role model. I heard a man say, he said, I went to a family restaurant. Somebody said, how do you know it was a family restaurant? He said, because there was an argument going on at every table. M. Well, shouldn't be that way. People are watching and let's have love and grace and respect within our families. Stay tuned. More Exploring the Word after this break.

>> Bert Harper: Will you take a moment and celebrate life with me?

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>> Jeff Chamblee: Now back to the Bible study. You're listening to Exploring the Word on American Family Radio.

>> Alex McFarland: It's about the cross.

Bert Harper and Alex McFarland talk about loving your parents

Welcome back to Exploring the Word. Bert Harper, Alex McFarland, our ah, faithful Engineer Brent Austin. We're so honored you're listening. And we're talking about loving your parents and just trying to, you know, give props for this precious gift called family. Family really is a gift. And, Bert, you remember the great, Well, I suppose he's still on the radio. Chuck Swindoll.

>> Bert Harper: Oh, man. Listen, he, I just got. When you mentioned his name, get every book you can. I already talked about Alan Redpath. Chuck Swindoll is another one. If you find a book by Chuck Swindoll, buy it.

>> Alex McFarland: One of the best. And I've had it 20 years, plus. I cherish it. It's called Rise and Shine.

>> Bert Harper: You bet. Got it.

>> Alex McFarland: By Chuck Swindoll. Yes, but Swindoll says this. He says family is the place where principles are hammered and honed every day on the anvil of life. And this is one of the reasons that the family means so much. And look, you cannot do society without family. I know since the 70s and the moral upheavals of the 60s and the feminist revolution of the 70s, and. And then there's just been wokeness and the redefinition of, like, everything. And study after study show, that, you know, what many young people are wanting. And Lord, Bert, we see this every summer with the 1200 teenagers and high schoolers we have in seven summer camps. And it's interesting, Bert. You know, kids more and more, I mean, they've got the questions, you know, where did the Bible come from? And all that, but. But over and over, when we do Q and A with, you know, high schoolers in college and young adults, they're asking questions about, you know, how do we build a family? you and Angie have been together 35 years, Alex. What's the secret? And it's Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. It is Jesus. But people know, like Chuck Swindoll alluded to, everything rises or falls with family. I mean, it really does. And when Bert and I are telling you to love your parents, build your family, we're not blind to the fact that every family has its, you know, you know, pain and struggles. But family is a gift from God. And I guess let me say this. Number six, love your parents, because here's a great opportunity. Listen, if you truly love your parents, as God calls us to do, you will invariably grow in the Holy Spirit. Because to fully love requires the help of the Holy Spirit. That's in Galatians 5. 22. See, Bert, even for all the failures and foibles, family and rising to the call of God to love and forgive and nurture and invest. Invariably, we will grow in the Holy Spirit that. Because we'll have to lean on the Holy Spirit to do the things God's called us to do.

>> Bert Harper: You know, when physicians, ask people to. They need to look at an X ray or PET scan or whatever they're using. And if they find a spot, somewhere in the lungs, on the brain, whatever they say, oh, man, what is that? When there's a dark spot in your memory, in your soul, it's a concern. Now, I just want to tell you. How do they do it? Well, a lot of times it's surgery. Sometimes it's medicine to get that spot. Say, well, we got to find out what it is. If you know what that spot is, and it is bitterness and hatred toward a parent, it's doing you the damage. You're the one. Now, what caused that spot? Hey, it may have been that parent and the decisions they made. I understand that. But now the spot is in your life, and you're the one that must deal with it. So we're praying that you would deal with it through the power of the Holy Spirit. And God can do that for you, and he can put a new attitude in your heart toward that individual that has not lived up to what they should have been. So I think the. The love of that we have and the love that God gives us through the power of the Holy Spirit, Alex can heal, and that black spot, that dark spot can fade away. And that's what we're asking to do through the power of the Holy Spirit and the love of God.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen.

Loving your parents can fill your heart with joy, Alex says

Well, number seven. loving your parents. All right, here's a reason why. Here's an incentive. Loving will fill you with joy. It really will, do it. See, doing right is its own reward. And I want to say this very gently. but let me say, if you somehow feel justified in holding a grudge or staying in the past, and you say, I just can't, and I'm not going to love this person anymore, this person crossed a line, and it can't be undone. Let me say this. You're believing things that are false. If you think that it's somehow beneficial to withhold love, that's just not true. And, Bert, when God himself is the God of grace, he's the God of all comfort. He's the God of forgiveness. he's the God who said forgive 70 times 7. In other words, an unlimited amount. There's just joy in doing life. God's way isn't There.

>> Bert Harper: There really is. When you think the opposite of joy. And I know a lot of words can come to your mind when you think of the words opposing joy. When bitterness and hatred is in that, that's what that produces. It does not produce the joy. And as a follower of Jesus Christ, especially those who are listening and you're a follower of Christ and you have this past that is so difficult to overcome, if you let bitterness and anger, and even hatred be a part of what you are, the joy will not be there. The opposite is being produced. So listen, forgiveness is for your benefit. It really is. So, yes, loving can fill your heart with joy. Unspeakable, unspeakable joy, Alex. That's what God can give.

>> Alex McFarland: Well, and, number eight, it's like we're doing it four. And to Jesus. Colossians 3, 23. Whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord and not unto men. if you find it hard to love and serve and give, well, remember, ultimately you're doing it as unto Jesus. Giving love and service is an offering to Christ himself. That's in Matthew 25 as well. And so, you know, I think it's good to realize that we're serving our parents, our family members, loving those around us. John 13. Jesus said, by this will all men know that you're my disciples. If you have love one for another. First Timothy 5, 8 talks about, loving and providing for relatives, especially members of his own household. Because if you can't love your family, really, in First Timothy 5, 8 says, you've denied the faith and you're worse than an unbeliever. And I'm not saying this is easy, but it's right. But Bert, here's the thing. Ultimately, when we do right, we're doing it unto and to Christ himself.

>> Bert Harper: Amen. Alex.

>> Alex McFarland: It's not. Not justifying everything another human has said or done, but we do right, because ultimately we're doing it as unto the Lord.

>> Bert Harper: It is an offering to the Lord. Now, offerings cost you something, okay? To go through this and say, lord, I'm going to love my parents. That was not as efficient as they should have been. Even desertion, even there can be abuse in there. I. I mean, my. After pastoring as long as I have, Alex, as many stories as I've heard, my brain can go to so many people who. You just don't know what they did, what did they do? And when I hear it, I. I cringe, I hurt. And I honestly have to say okay, Bert, what you're telling them is something you haven't had to do. I understand that. But I do want to share this, this offering of love to your parents and service to them. It's an offering. It will cost you. It will cost you. Say, okay, God, I've got to have your help. It's. You remember when David was getting ready to buy the land for the temple and it was given to him? He said, I'll not offer unto the Lord that which costs me nothing.

>> Alex McFarland: Yes.

>> Bert Harper: So here, this does cost you. I just want to tell you, and it can be difficult at the beginning, but it's just like offering, our finances to the Lord. when I first started doing that, I did it. And every so often it would get hard because, raising three boys wasn't cheap. Okay. And I'd say, okay, Lord, but I cannot withhold it. And ah, when it's a part of your life, Alex, I'm not saying it becomes easier, but it becomes just necessary. Okay? And this is necessary to give that love and that hope, to be able to be that overcomer God wants you to be.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen.

Family is a big contributor to Christ's Great Commission, Bert says

Ah, Number nine. Love your parents. Why? So one day you will have no regrets. You know, one day you're going to face God with no regrets. Proverbs 23:22 says, Listen to your father who gave you life and do not despise your mother when she is old. you know, Bert, God cares about the widows, the fatherless, and God cares about the elderly too. And let me just say to the married couples out there that be, on the same page, wives, your husband is going to have to look after his mother. Please don't fault him for doing that. It doesn't mean he loves you less. And men, don't neglect your wife. Remember, men, you are to love your wife as Christ loved his bride. But at the same time, let me encourage you and we don't have enough time for me to explain how Angie and I have walked this tightrope. But here's the thing. men, you're going to have to look after your mothers. That's what a son does. husbands, understand that your wife has, ah, parents too, Bert, in law issues. This can be a real landmine in a marriage. But what a beautiful thing. And God will bless you. God will help you, look after your family responsibilities so that one day, in this life and when we stand before God, you'll have no regrets.

>> Bert Harper: Yeah. Leaving your father and mother does not take away later on the responsibility of caring for them in this relationship. Now, the relationship to the husband and wife, yes, that is priority after your relationship with the Lord, and they grow together, but through the relationship, that's the reason you want to have this relationship as a husband and wife. When that time comes when it's going to take one of the other away to care for their parent, that you're doing it because in the past you've lived up to what you should be. So do it now. Love one another right now. So when that time comes of caring for a, for a elderly parent, there's, there's some room there. And it's not just holding on to nothing. No, you're holding on to a relationship that was built in love.

>> Alex McFarland: The final thing I would say about why we should love our parents, and maybe even today, you've got to pray and say, lord, help, me, expand the size of my heart and Lord, expand my capacity to love, and give me the wisdom to carry it out. maybe that's where you kind of are in your heart, friends. But the final thing I would say is really, because family is a big contributor to Christ's Great Commission. I'm going to say this. look, if you're a born again believer, honestly, your life's mission is to help populate heaven. I mean really, individually, as a couple, as a family, as a church member, and I certainly hope you are in church, but then even our vocation, maybe you're in business or education or government or the sciences. Bert, how we love can contribute to Christ's Great Commission. And so family is a part of that. We think of ministers and churches and missionaries and all that, and that's part of it. But I really do think the first, most primary building block of Christ's Great Commission, to which we have all been called the family, is the starting point of the fulfillment of the Great Commission.

>> Bert Harper: I believe I agree with you fully. I just want to use this. Adam and Eve did not have a synagogue to take their children to, nor a church building to meet others. They had to do it where in the home. And listen, the home base is the family. And again, I want to go back. You say, well, you just don't understand. I understand. I don't understand. I get that. I've been there. I've heard too many stories that I said, I cannot believe you're where you are coming out of the home that you lived in. I, I've seen it so many times. But I want to tell you, you start where you are. If you had that background of parents deserting you, abusing you, hurting, you start where you are and say, oh, God, I want you to help me to become all that I need to become in Christ Jesus. I trust you as my savior. I've asked you to be lord of my life, and I need you guide me through this landmine of, forgiveness, because it's going to come up in your memory again and again. What happened when you were 5 years old, what happened when you were 13 years old. Those things are real. I, understand. They're real. But I am telling you, our God is able. He is able to help you to come to that place of, forgiveness and even to the place of. Let me say it, Alex, and you can take us out. A place of even thanksgiving for your parents.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen. well, you know, they say June is the international month of the family. And whether it's Mother's Day, Father's Day, thank God for your parents. And so send flowers, shed a tear, say a prayer. Of all of God's treasures, family and your parents are among the greatest. Alex and Bert say thanks for listening to Exploring the Word. Tell somebody about exploring the Word, if you would, in the American Family Radio Network. But most of all, tell everybody about Jesus. May God bless you.

>> Jeff Chamblee: The m views and opinions expressed in this broadcast do not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.